Infidelity is a manifestation of serious psychological disorders

 

Psychological suffering and other practical problems in human relationships may occur due to the operation of wounds and stress in the condition of psychological problems or psychological disorders. Psychological problems can be recovered by counseling and knowledge education, but psychological disorders need to be properly treated with professional help to prevent aggravation and restore healthy psychology. Psychological problems can also be aggravated to psychological disorders when neglected.

 

When psychological problems are not properly addressed, they may develop into a psychological disorder that affects one component of psychology. Then, as the condition deteriorates, the condition may develop into a psychological disorder that affects two components of psychology. In rare and extreme cases, they many develop into a psychological disorder that affects all three components of psychology. In general, it may take years for psychological problems to develop into a psychological disorder in one component of psychology, and decades to develop into a psychological disorder in all three components of psychology.

 

However, people who get involved in infidelity may develop a psychological disorder in two components of psychology in a single day, and the victimized spouse may be instantly put under the condition where they may develop a psychological disorder in all three components of psychology upon the discovery of spouse infidelity.

 

The practical circumstance of infidelity itself is less important than the psychological conditions that people involved in the issue of infidelity may have to experience. Psychological disorders caused by getting involved in and being victimized by infidelity may be aggravated as time goes by and diverse practical solutions are attempted, leading to even more serious and critical life circumstances including crimes and the destruction of family. Psychological disorders related with issues of infidelity result in not only individual problems but also social problems to which all of us are exposed on a daily basis. Infidelity is not just individuals' problems of marriage, love, or sex, and its adverse effects go much deeper and wider in individuals and the society.

 

Issues of infidelity must be viewed as serious and dangerous psychological problems that may destroy human relationships and incur unfortunate and tragic incidents. The treatment of relationship addiction of the spouse in infidelity and the treatment of post traumatic stress of the victimized spouse must be prioritized over any other attempt for practical solutions when infidelity occurs in a couple relationship.

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Only very few people accept the evidence of infidelity immediately.

Q : My husband stubbornly denies his infidelity even though I know all about it. I want to show him the evidence and end this marriage, but the reality is that I would be in economic difficulties after divorce. Should I reveal his infidelity and treat myself? or should I just ignore and live just as now?

A : Everyone, of course, denies his or her infidelity stubbornly because they can have some time to retrieve their wrongdoing. So, if you show him evidence of his infidelity, he would ask you from where you have got the evidence instead of acknowledging his fault.

If your husband has infidelity, that means he has a psychological disorder. Those with psychological disorders tend to evade stress first when stress comes in. So, you must not think that they did wrongdoings but understand that these people with psychological disorders are always like that. You don't need to be wounded. Relationship addiction is not a mental disease but means errors occurred in thinking about human relationships. Thus, instead of distinguishing right and wrong, you need to make a judgment realistically what you would do in this current situation.

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If the wife tries to get treatment, that is the same as the husband admits his infidelity; thus, he would pick on her. So, the treatment provided by KIP is considered as pseudo. Also, when it comes to the cost, lots of complaints arise, which causes the situation more difficult for getting the treatment.

There is one more thing that needs to be considered. It is the situation when the husband asks for divorce instead of asking for forgiveness after his infidelity was revealed. Since you would not want this to happen, just don't mind about him and just keep the evidence collected.

Therefore, whether your husband is in an inappropriate relationship with another woman or not, don't mind about it. Treat your rage and wounds first; you can make a decision on how to deal with this situation when you are no longer in pain even when you see him having infidelity.  

Do not try hard to have him back at this point. If there is still no change in his behavior and if you think you decide to end your relationship with him even after you are treated, you must cope with the situation cool-headedly.

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Body and Mind

 

Everyone knows that a human being is formed with the body and the mind (psychology, soul & spirit).

Physical body consists of the brain, five sensory organs, skin, inner organs, blood & hormone, other cells, etc. and can be known and proved easily because all of these are visible. The body is visible; it is essential for human beings to survive.

However, the mind is not visible so that it is guessed to be somewhere in the brain and has been studied by many to prove it. This study field is called ‘brain science.’ The mind is not visible, but it certainly exists.

It is 'where emotions, thoughts, memories, etc. are either saved or occurred’; emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure and operations of these emotions, which is psychology, are called the mind. It is very abstract since it is invisible.

Therefore, the human being is formed with the body and the mind (psychology and soul & spirit) integrated together, and it is inseparable. Since the mind and psychology are abstract, they cannot be defined certainly but can only be guessed vaguely because mind and psychology are invisible and not proved.

Psychology expresses how the mind operates and conditions of the conscious, etc. making the mind and psychology very similar. Mind is ‘where emotions are saved or remembered’ whereas psychology is ‘operations of emotions.’ Ultimately, what people know in general is psychology. The mind they express is the operations of psychology.

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Mind Training

 

Mind training is ‘training program’ and is developed for psychological treatment. Mind training is the process of learning the mind and psychology of human being first by training and taking counseling and treatment at the same time.

To look into efficacies of mind training, first is that you will be able to operate psychology. Psychological operation if exchanging speeches, actions, and facial expressions. When one and its counterparty exchange speeches, actions, and facial expressions, we call this psychological operation. You will be able to understand and use your and your counterparty’s psychology when there’s psychological operations between you two. You can use and lead psychological operations to the way you want to lead regardless of your counterparty’s psychology.

Second is that you can control and adjust emotions that occur within you and your counterparty after having psychological operation.

Third is that you will be able to analyze your and your counterparty’s psychology. Ability to analyze psychology is simply understanding the mind, which people are mostly interested in. You can understand the mind of you and of your counterparty accurately.

Fourth, you can adjust human relationships as you wish. When there is mutual relationship between you and your counterparty or between counterparties, you will be able to adjust the mind to the way you want.

The ability I’m talking about here is habits being perceived as if you’ve done it in that way originally when you do things. Habits are not formed if you make efforts intentionally. The true ability is habits that you can make into action unknowingly.

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Understanding the nature of spouse infidelity in order to restore your own happiness

 

Those who have not experienced the pain caused by spouse infidelity could not even imagine its severity of suffering.

When spouse infidelity occurs, many victimized spouses cannot even fathom why and how they ended up in such a disatrous situation. They are in excruciating pain, but they themselves do not understand why they feel such pain.

Many victimized spouses may attempt to correct the situation and break free from suffering within their knowledge and ability, but unfortunately, few of them understand that the straying spouse is in relationship addiction and the victimized spouse is in post trumatic stress, thereby making their efforts useless or deleterious.

1. What would be the underlying cause of spouse infidelity?
- Why would people have an extramarital relationship?
- Why would they repeat infidelity?
- Why would the try to hide the fact of infidelity?

2. What would be the underlying cause of the victimized spouse's deathlike pain?
- Is it really just because of spouse infidelity?
- Is is really just from the sense of betrayal?
- Is it because something is critically wrong with their life?

It is when you figure out the answers to the 2 queations provided above that you can truly begin to direct yourself into the right path of life again.

It is understandable that you have no energy or desire to think deeply about the root cause of all the things you are facing now. However, you and your life are too precious to be ruined by incidents like spouse infidelity. Any actions taken without accurately understanding the true nature of the phenomena may lead to another and even worse problem.

It is hoped that you will wisely overcome the hardship and happily strde for the future again.

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Psychological problems vs. psychological disorders

 

Many psychology treatment methods are applied without considering the distinction between psychological problems and psychological disorders resulting in adverse side effects.

When you suffer from psychological pain, an exact diagnosis must precede to determine the condition. For example, psychology counseling may be effective for psychological problems, but not for psychological disorders.

Psychological problems can be compared to having a cold and psychological disorders to having a flu, pneumonia, or lung cancer. Adopting psychology counseling to treat psychological disorders may be not only ineffective but also detrimental.

It may aggravate the condition or develop another type of psychological disorder on top of the existing one ruining the life of your own and people around you.

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Woman’s Xes Psychology

When looking into woman’s xes psychology, positive emotions and the emotion of love must be understood. The reason for this can be clearly understood when seeing the process of meeting and breaking up; thus, the occurrence and extermination of positive emotions and the emotion of love must be known in order to understand the Principles of Xes Psychology. 

Let’s analyze the process of datings of a woman when she meets a man. A woman’s positive emotions towards the man need to stay constantly in order to have the emotion of love. When looking into the process, the man forms the desire for psychological operations (the psychology of wanting to make speeches and actions) and the desire for devotion (sacrifices and devotions, understanding and considerations, the psychology of wanting to do everything for her) as his passion is aroused by his sexual instinct when he perceives her as a woman; he tries to satisfy these. 

Then, the woman generates positive emotions by the thought that the man is trying to be nice because of his interest in her. As the man perceives her getting positive emotions, his passion, sexual desire, and desire for achievement get strengthened; by doing so, he tries to keep the process of passion, which allows the woman keeps the positive emotions resulting in the emotion of love. 

When the woman gets the emotions of love like this, she will get the woman’s happiness, which allows her to keep positive emotions and have the desire for wanting to confirm the man’s love. Woman’s xes psychology is at work at this point. 

When the xes psychology operate, the desire for wanting to do things that the man likes, the fun and interest that she can have when doing these with the mans, things that man have fun with, etc. (the desire for devotion) is formed; because of this, she has sex (xes action) with him and becomes happy. When this process is repeated, the man-woman relationship is improved into a romantic relationship. 

The woman’s happiness and xes psychology have a very close relationship; xes psychology is completely separated from sex. Happiness and yes psychology are generated by the mind and perceived by the conscious through habits; the sex is aroused by the conscious and expressed through habits. 

Therefore, if a woman gets the emotion of love by the formation of a romantic relationship from the emotion of happiness, xes psychology will operate, which will create the conscious of wanting to be with the counterpart she loves for the satisfaction and the pleasure of sex. That is why the satisfaction and the pleasure of sex are perceived importantly. In other words, It needs to be understood that the importance of sex only appears when love and happiness are formed for the woman. 

A woman needs psychological operations that can generate good feelings (positive emotions and the emotion of happiness) towards a man for her happiness. So, the man gets passion and the desire for psychological operations and devotion when he perceived her as a woman; by doing so, speeches and actions are created through habits. As this process repeats, the desire for xes and achievement along with xes psychology will generate in his mind according to her reactions; the woman will have the emotions of love as their relationship develops into the romantic relationship by the emotion of happiness. We can see that woman’s xes psychology operates as the emotion of happiness gets changed into the emotion of love. 

What the woman needs to watch out at this point is man’s consolation. When she remembers negative emotions of wounds that are not treated yet, her mind tries to use the love from the man to treat her wounds and changes the negative emotions into positive ones; in this process, she likes the counterparty who has treated her wounds, and this emotion is remembered and operated as the emotion of love. Man’s consolation seems very similar to man’s passion but operates very differently resulting in a delusion of wound treatment. The woman will misunderstand that her wounds have been treated, when it is not true, and gets the emotion of love which operates her xes psychology.

 Ultimately, the mistaking of love and happiness will make her xes psychology keep asking for love and happiness. Because of this, a vicious cycle of the operation of sex only without having actual love and happiness in real life even though sex constantly operates. The mistaken love becomes not the generating energy but the consuming energy causing an unhappy life; rather than the wound treatment, wounds will get worse causing problems in habits and the conscious. 

If the result of psychological operations that a man's passion and woman's love are integrated create positive emotions, a romantic relationship will be formed. If this process lasts, the woman will generate the emotion of love; by this emotion of love, her wounds will get treated allowing the positive emotions to be enlarged. Also, the desire for keeping the emotion of love (the operations of the mind and xes psychology) will get strengthened. As she enjoys having xes actions with the men, she perceives xes actions with her counterparty she loves very importantly. 

Therefore, a man needs the pleasure of xes actions (which takes a short time) in order to like and love a woman who is his counterparty (takes a long time) whereas a woman needs to love her counterparty (which take a long time) in order for the fun and pleasure of xes action with him (takes a short time).

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Negative Emotions and Xes Psychology

 

If a woman gets wounds of negative emotions, she will have problems in her xes psychology. If not only wounds about her counterparty but also wounds in other circumstances occur, she cuts off her xes psychology. However, the man does not understand the reason for that and ends up thinking that she does not like him and rejects him. Thus, it must be understood that woman’s xes psychology will have problems when she gets any kind of negative emotions or wounds. 

Let’s look into the process of a woman getting wounds and having problems in her xes psychology. First, a woman cuts off xes actions when she gets negative emotions. Then, the man tries his best to recover the xes actions that the woman has cut off for his passion. At this moment, the woman could either have more wounds or recover the xes actions after her wounds get treated. 

Second, if negative emotions keep lasting with xes actions blocked, she starts expressing very negatively about xes actions as she cuts off her xes psychology. Starting from this moment, the man feels less fun with the woman as his passion gets reduced rather than trying to recover her xes actions. So, instead of making efforts for recovery, he tends to avoid the stress caused by the woman. The woman also feels the man's passion being reduced; as she feels his interest in her has been decreased, her negative emotions of wounds become enlarged. 

Third, the woman cuts off the emotion of love and become indifferent to the man when the negative emotions keep lasting with her xes psychology being cut off. Then, the man cannot have passion towards the woman anymore as his passion towards the woman as his passion get a cut-off. As man's desire for psychological operations (the mind of wanting to have conversations) and desire for devotion (the mind of wanting to do whatever he can do) disappear, the xes actions with the woman become meaningless. If a married couple is in this kind of situation, mostly they either become sexless or tend to consider sex as their duty. When this happens, the woman gets wounded very easily even from very small things; her negative emotions get accumulated. In this case, women mostly become dependent on their children, their jobs, and circumstances and end up becoming indifferent to men. Good emotions have still remained, but they don't feel the emotion of love anymore. Woman's happiness is lost. 

Fourth, if negative emotions keep lasting with the emotion of love blocked, she also cuts off good emotions that have remained. She becomes very offensive to the man with the emotion that she has when she treats strangers. Then, the man gets stress extremely, wanting to finish entire relationships with the woman. This is the stage that a couple is about to break up. As emotional confrontations and fights keep being occurred, the situation becomes so bad that recovery is almost impossible. The woman can't think of being together with the man as she gets deeply wounded whereas the man doesn't want to be with the woman anymore as he gets this much stress. 

Moreover, when a woman breaks up with a man, the order must be looked over. As negative emotions are formed within her, she firstly blocks xes actions she used to have with him as emotional confrontations and rejects everything to do things together and have fun with him, which causes her xes psychology stops and making her hate the man. At this moment, she gets wounded. 

Second, if negative emotions last, the emotion of love will be blocked; problems will occur in man's passion towards the woman. The woman gets wounded at this point as well. 

Third, if problems occur in man's passion, he will lose the desire for psychological operations and devotion causing the woman to have her wounds be enlarged as her negative emotions towards him grow. 

Fourth, the couple's relationship becomes worse than the relationship between strangers. The woman will be indifferent in the man and lose her will to recover the relationship, which makes negative emotions become larger. She gets wounded at this point. 

If wounds are repeated and lasted like this, these become habits to the woman making her remember negative emotions in the conscious. 

Let's look into the cases when women get wounded by men. In cases when problems occur in positive emotions because man's passion and his desire for psychological operations and devotion disappear, when problems occur in the emotion of love, when the desire for keeping positive emotions and wanting to confirm the man's love disappear, when problems occur in the satisfaction of sexual actions, etc.  The woman will get wounded and generate negative emotions if one single of problems just mentioned occurs.

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Man’s Xes Psychology

 

When looking into man's xes psychology, the occurrence of passion by the impulse standards of the mind (also called xes impulse) and positive emotions must be understood. The reason for this can be clearly understood when seeing the process of meeting and breaking up; thus, the occurrence and extermination of passion and positive emotions of a man must be known in order to understand man's xes psychology. 

Let’s analyze the process of datings of a man when he meets a woman. First of all, a man generates passion by xes impulse when he perceives his counterparty as a woman; this is the generation of passion by xes impulse in the mind. As the desire for psychological operations (the psychology of wanting to make speeches and actions to a woman) and the desire for devotion (sacrifices and devotion, understanding and consideration, the psychology of wanting to do whatever he can for the woman) operate through habits, he tries making efforts to satisfy these. Positive feelings are created at this point. Thus, it needs to be understood that a man generates positive feelings and passion as soon as he perceives his counterparty as a woman. 

Second, once the man gets positive feelings and satisfied with the desire for psychological operations and devotion, the desire for xes and the desire for achievement are generated making man's xes psychology operates; because of this, he imagines, hopes, and anticipate about xes actions with the woman and pursues future happiness. 

Third, when he enlarges his passion and when the woman starts having the emotion of love, the man has the fun of xes actions through the curiosity about the woman, fun and interest,  the process of getting to know each other, etc. ; with the hope  and anticipation of continuation and development of these xes actions, he gets into the fun and interest of the man-woman relationship. This is the operation of xes psychology that allows positive feelings and the process of passion last; by woman's reactions and expression of the emotion of love, the man's happiness rises. When this happens, the man-woman relationship develops into a romantic relationship. 

Fourth, as man's passion and woman's emotion of love are combined and as the fun of having xes actions lasts long, the man starts forming love by habits as the psychology of protecting and being responsible for the woman operates. Man's love is created as unlimited responsibility, identifying her with oneself, protective instinct, etc. towards the woman are complexly formed. Thus, man's love is not expressed but stays in the form of unconscious habits. 

It is very rare that a man gets wounded psychologically except for one case when his woman has xes action with another man. When this happens, he gets psychologically wounded and forms negative feelings towards the woman very largely. It is very rare that a man gets wounded psychologically except for one case when his woman has xes action with another man. When this happens, he gets psychologically wounded and forms negative feelings towards the woman very largely. Sometimes, there are many cases when men seem to have wounds when they have obsessions; examples are when the fun and interest that comes from women is cut off, when problems occurred in relationship with women when they still have passion toward women, when women cut off xes actions, when having hopes, anticipations, and future happiness with women, and when having unlimited responsibility (love). 

Therefore, in the case when a couple breaks up, man's passion will get reduced; he won't perceive this counterparty as a woman anymore and will cut off the hope and anticipation for having xes actions. The fun and interest with the woman will be gone. When this happens, his feelings that he used to like her will disappear as negative feelings are formed as well.

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The Conscious of Xes Actions

 

Xes actions are speeches and actions expressed through habits; they are one of the psychological operations. Xes actions are speeches and actions that have been conscientizes (the conscious and habits). They are not the aims but the means and methods of fun and pleasure. 

If xes actions become the aim, that means problems have occurred in the conscious and habits. Thus, since sexual relation means every word and action including insertion, techniques, caress, ejaculation, orgasm, satisfaction, xes feelings, etc., it could be seen as expressions through the conscious and habits. 

Women get negative emotions about xes actions; this is because xes actions are the means of fun and pleasure. Due to habits and the conscious that women being perceived as the objects for having sex, women feel shame and embarrassed. A woman gets fun and pleasure of xes actions only when she either likes or loves her counterparty with the emotion of love and positive emotions towards the man. 

On the other hand, men get positive feelings about xes actions; this is because xes actions are the means of fun and pleasure. Because of this, they have habits and the conscious that perceives xes actions with women as their sexual ability. As xes psychology appears in their mind along with passion, they perceive that the pursuit of the best happiness is the best way of having fun and pleasure. 

Therefore, a man gets the aim of being the best by the awareness of superiority and the sense of rivalry that they must have better sex actions compared to any other men. The saying that best attractive woman for men is 'the woman who feels orgasm' is the same as to have the value of future happiness for men. 

If there are xes actions between a man and a woman, their relationship develops into a romantic relationship; if not, the couple is perceived as they will break up soon. Thus, the man remembers positive feelings about xes actions with the woman even after they break up and tries to continue having xes actions whereas the woman remembers negative emotions about having xes actions with the man and tries to block these actions. That is to say, a man remembers positive feelings in xes actions with a woman since he remembers positive feelings whereas a woman remembers only negative emotions in xes actions with a man because she remembers negative emotions.

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Woman’s Negative Perception

 

Woman perceives xes actions negatively. By social environment, various educations in the process of rearing and growing, patriarchal idea, etc., she perceives xes actions as getting damages. So, a woman needs the emotion of love to have xes actions; as xes psychology operates by the emotion of love, she can have xes actions when she wants to confirm and keep the love and have present happiness. 

When looking into the reasons why women perceive xes actions negatively, they perceive xes actions as the means of having sexual pleasure. They hate becoming objects of sexual pleasure by men and hate being perceived as objects for fun and pleasure as well. So, they perceive xes actions negatively. Especially, even when they have the desire for xes, they hide it because they hate to be perceived as objects of sexual pleasure by men. In other words, the psychology that suppresses the desire for xes is formed. 

As they perceive xes actions as the means of sexual pleasure, negative emotions are generated; they think expressions of xes actions such as speeches, actions, facial expressions, etc. are shameful, embarrassed, and shy. Because of this, they suppress their mind to live as if they are not interested in xes actions. 

However, if a woman is in love, she has xes actions with a man as her desire for wanting to confirm and keep the love as her xes psychology operates; by doing so, she confirms the love and can feel present happiness. So, in order to have sex actions, women need the emotion of love. 

Women have xes actions for love; they don't have the emotion of love for xes actions. The goal of their xes actions is love and happiness because their xes actions allow them to confirm and keep love and to feel the present happiness.

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Man’s Positive Perception

 

Unlike women, men perceive xes actions positively. Men need passion in order to pursue future happiness; xes actions are the strongest energy that generates man's passion. So, men perceive xes actions as the best pleasure they can have. Also, when looking into man's xes psychology, they can separate love, xes actions, passions, etc.; due to this, they can have xes actions without love. For them, xes actions are not necessary just because they are in love. Most of xes actions are related to passion; the passion generates xes psychology at the same time. 

Let's look into the reasons why men perceive xes actions positively. Men also perceive xes actions as a means of sexual pleasure. Xes actions occur in the process of passion and operate as positive energy; they perceive xes actions as the best means of fun and pleasure. Thus, xes actions are a very important means of life for men. 

Men have the mind that pursues future happiness. In order to pursue future happiness, the energy of passion and the desire for achievement must be strengthened; the source of energy that generates this passion and the desire for achievement is xes actions. So, men perceive xes actions as the strongest ability. They think they must be the best of making xes actions. It is like male animals trying to keep their status and territory. Men think that the best happiness is to have fun and interest and think that xes actions can satisfy all of these. 

Another reason why men perceive xes actions very important is their passion. This passion is the power of immersion into fun and pleasure; man's passion satisfies 'the desire for psychological operations' and 'the desire for devotion' towards women at the same time, which makes the men have the mind of wanting to do everything they can do for women. Thus, as the means of giving the most pleasure to a woman, a man does his best to make her feel orgasm of xes actions, which is very natural from the point of man's psychological view. 

So, rather than his own pleasure, fun and pleasure of making the woman feel sexual pleasure are perceived bigger to the man. According to this, a man feels the best sexual charms from a woman who feels orgasm in xes actions with him. Like this, xes actions are very important for men; rather than any of other economic values, they perceive the ability to have xes actions as the best. 

However, if problems occur in men's xes actions, these problems become very serious psychological problems. Especially, if a man failed to give orgasm to his counterparty, if his counterparty hates to have xes actions with him, or if the counterparty tells him that his ability of xes actions is poor, he will feel serious inferiority sexually. If he gets sexual inferiority, compulsion about xes actions will be formed which results in disorder of xes function or disorder of xes psychology; as this disorder lasts unknowingly, distorted habits of xes actions will be created. 

Men perceive xes actions positively as they think xes actions as the best value and perceive xes actions as the core that generates passion.

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Xes Psychology and Sex Action

 

Xes psychology is the mind for love based on woman's present happiness and operates as the mind for the passion based on man's future happiness. On the other hand, xes actions are the means and methods to satisfy xes psychology and operate by the conscious and habits that are expressed in forms of speeches and actions. Simply saying, xes psychology is the mind for happiness whereas xes actions are the conscious and habits for the means of happiness. 

Man's xes psychology is the mind pursuing future happiness in the process of passion occurred when he perceives his counterparty as a woman, the satisfaction in the desire for psychological operations and for devotion, and the desire for xes and achievement. Woman's xes psychology is the mind pursuing present happiness in the process of the desire for confirming and keeping the emotion of love, positive emotions, and man's interest such as passion, psychological operations, devotion, etc. In other words, man's xes psychology is the process of passion whereas woman's xes psychology is the process of love. 

When a man and a woman pursue happiness for each, the mind is expressed through habits in forms of speeches and actions; at this point, the process of speeches and actions appear as xes actions. That is to say, xes actions are the result of psychological operations of a man and a woman. A man pursues xes actions as a means of fun and pleasure that are needed in the process of passion; a woman pursues xes actions as a means for confirming and keeping the emotion of love in the process of love and as a means for wound treatment. 

After a man has xes actions with a woman, his passion starts decreasing as he has achieved his goal; thus, he gets hopes and anticipations about xes actions, which is the result of passion, in order to revive his passion. This becomes the source of the pursuit of future happiness. On the contrary, after a woman has xes actions with a man, she wants to keep the process of love as the emotion of happiness is generated along with the goal achievement of love. This becomes the source that allows her to get present happiness. 

Like this, the man makes efforts, by making the best result from his xes actions, to make the xes actions become the source of the pursuit of future happiness by helping the woman to keep the xes actions. Because of this, the man tries to make his xes actions well and wants to be the best. If this is done excessively, a psychogenic disorder of xes function occurs due to the generation of compulsion and anxiety. In other words, the man ends up having the compulsion that his ability of xes actions must be the best to the woman. However, the woman makes efforts to have the source of keeping present happiness by continuing the emotion of love. For her, xes actions are not that important. She satisfies with having the xes actions as the means of confirming and keeping the love; thus, the man's ability of xes actions is not that important.

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Negative Emotions of Sex Action

 

For women, xes actions become the factor causing negative emotions. These are negative emotions occurred by habits and the conscious that xes actions are the means of fun and pleasure of a man. These negative emotions are generated because xes actions do not meet the standards of present happiness of the mind. by the conscious and habits, the negative perceptions such as shame, embarrassment, and shyness, etc. operate. 

Moreover, as social consciousness, home education, sexual victim mentality, etc. are combined, a formula saying that 'woman = xes action=wound' operates in the conscious and habits making women objects of xes actions (perceiving women as objects to pursue the pleasure of xes actions). This matter has been perceived by both men and women. 

Therefore, women have the mind to have xes actions after they have the emotions of love and positive emotions towards men whereas men have the mind to have the emotion of love and positive feelings after having xes actions. Due to this, a suppression that xes actions are possible only when they are in love is formed; women get wounds (negative emotions) due to the difference between love and xes actions. 

Women get negative emotions about xes actions because what matters for them are the mind when thinking of xes actions, the process of love, and present love and happiness. So, they generate positive emotions about xes actions only when they want to keep present happiness. 

Women do not reject satisfaction and pleasure of xes actions but are perceived as if they are negative and passive when thinking of xes actions since the present happiness and the process of love are deeply related to each other. 

On the other hand, men consider the goal and result of xes actions very important as they get the habits and the conscious that they need to give pleasure and orgasm to the woman through caress, insertion, techniques, xes function, body (sexual organ) in his xes actions; by doing so, he gets future happiness by hopes and anticipations. 

Since it is the same as that man’s future happiness has come true when his goals of sex are approached, he will repeat the process of passion as he forms goals of xes actions again for his future happiness by hopes and anticipation. Although men do not aim xes actions, they are perceived as they have goals of having xes actions and are active when doing them since their future happiness and xes actions are closely related to each other. Because of this, we perceive that, about xes actions, men have perpetrator’s mentality whereas women have a victim mentality.

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Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/