I lived a righteous, comfortable, and good life. Then, one day, my life and my world collapsed at one blow. I spent more than a year looking for causes and blaming myself and my husband, who didn't even seem to care. I thought that everything would go back to normal only if my husband stopped acting crazy and came back.
My husband was going exactly the opposite direction from one that I hoped for. He just kept straying further and further. He was not the man I had known any more. Something was seriously wrong. My children and I were being erased in his memory.
I began to search for solutions on the Internet and found information provided by KIP. I learned that my husband's behaviors were so typical. It was hard for me to admit that I had to treat my own condition first even when he was the one that was at fault. I was already paying too much for my ignorance.
I despaired once more when I found out that it was quite expensive to take the treatment program. I hesitated and I read books published by KIP. I finished reading 2,000 pages in a week. I fell asleep watching videos of KIP and watched them again when I woke up. I tried to fix myself without taking the program.
Finally, I came to the conclusion that I just needed the treatment. At first, I was confident that I would recover very soon since I would work so hard on the treatment. By week 10 of treatment, I could understand the contents but I knew that they were not internalized inside me yet.
I sometimes feel that I haven't changed a bit seeing my own thoughts and emotions. I guess it will take more time. I still have a long way to go. Days will add up to put the right habits into myself, and then they will feel natural.
I would not have had a chance to learn about Mind Training, had it not been for my predicament. I may have to feel lucky to have found out about it rather than to live and die without knowing what Mind Training is. Tears flow down my face randomly during daily life. Someday they will stop and dry.
I am a type of a person who never wastes a penny, but I decided to pay for my treatment. My thoughts about humans and life turned out to be extremely narrow. Now, I am learning about fundamentals of human nature and human relationships and internalizing them inside me. I want to build the abilities to be understanding and considerate with right judgment. I want to show my children that I live a meaningful and valuable life. I will do my best and go all the way for happiness.
[Comment from KIP]
Many people want to take the treatment program but hesitate due to the burden of time, effort, and expense. You may aggravate your condition and ruin your life when you choose incorrect methods for recovery. Your will power and energy to restore happiness led you to choose the right method.
It takes 3 to 6 months to recover from the activation of severe wounds and display of rage, which makes you feel quite comfortable and stabilized. Then, it takes about 1 to 2 years to fully recover preventing recurrence of post traumatic stress and building treatment ability and happiness ability.
Please, focus on the treatment and continue with self-checking for progress. You can read your review again when you feel stuffy or find yourself procrastinating to gather up your will power for treatment. We hope you will achieve full recovery and happiness ability soon.