3/29/2022

[Infidelity Therapy] Insane people who advise the wife suffering from husband infidelity to get a divorce.

 

When the wife gets a divorce without treating post traumatic stress, her condition deteriorates rapidly, and ends up living the worst kind of life. Why do some people encourage the wife to get a divorce? They are encouraging the wife to destroy her life and children's life. They will not be able to take any responsibility for making the wrong advice. 

You must stop seeing people who advise you to get a divorce when you suffer from husband infidelity. They are awful and crazy people who pursue only selfish purposes by destroying your marriage and your family. 

[Words people who advise for divorce use]

‘You live only once. Get a divorce and enjoy your life.’

‘Divorce is nothing wrong. You will meet a better man.’

‘Your husband is awful. Divorce him as soon as possible.’

‘Infidelity is incurable and he will repeat it. Now is the time for divorce.’

‘You should get a divorce before you lose all your money.’

Questions for women who advise the victimized wife for divorce. 

1. Were you jealous of her being happy? Would you feel good by destroying the couple?

2. Are you advising for divorce since you are happy after divorce?

3. Are you advising her for the worst life since you are living the worst life after divorce?

4. Are you advising her for the worst life since you are living the worst life without getting a divorce?

5. Would you feel good by destroying her marriage and family?

6. Who are you to judge her husband for right and wrong? He is not your husband. 

Questions for men who advise the victimized wife for divorce. 

1. Do you want to take the body, mind, sexuality, and money of the victimized wife?

2. Do you want to take advantage of her as a sex object?

3. Do you feel good by destroying her husband's life?

4. Are you good enough to judge her husband?

5. What would you do when you have an affair and your wife suffers from pain?

Please, do not be deceived by people who advise you for divorce. You may feel hurt now, but it will not be too late to decide on divorce after you treat post traumatic stress, restore happiness, and give your husband an opportunity to treat his condition. When you live without treating post traumatic stress, you may be taken advantage of by selfish people, destroy your children's life, and live the worst kind of life. 

https://youtu.be/rm2Jlk7SxBs


               

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

[Mother Therapy] Teenagers' psychological problems

 

Teenagers are still in the process of developing psychology differently from adults, who have already formed psychology and their own thought standards. Therefore, teenagers do not develop psychological disorders, which are fixated psychological conditions. Teenagers are learning and forming their own thought standards constantly making trials and errors. They develop mild psychological problems often since they have not yet completed forming psychology. 

When teenagers' psychological problems are addressed in the way as adults' psychological disorders are addressed through diagnosis and treatment, their psychological problems only deteriorate. Parents must understand this mechanism and must not be too anxious about correcting teenagers' psychological problems as quickly as possible. When parents become anxious and too worried about teenagers' psychological problems, teenagers are negatively affected by their parents' unstable psychological state. Parents can help them understand what is going on and build right thought standards through open discussion.

Teenagers do not have formed thought standards yet, so they may not fully understand what is right and wrong from adults' point of view. When they are forced to follow as they are told by adults without clear understanding, they may rebel and behave in the opposite way from adults' guidance. Teenagers can build healthy psychology when they can understand from their own point of view. 

When teenagers have healthy body and stable psychology, they will naturally develop intellectual appetite. Also, they will naturally develop desire for building skills and abilities for pursuing values and career, which is the manifestation of the energy of passion in mind. Healthy teenagers will voluntarily try to develop themselves in a constructive way to be able to pursue self-actualization when they become adults. 

   https://youtu.be/J-851BVWJhA

                                                        Apply for free consultation 

                       on child's psychological problem

                            Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/

3/23/2022

[Mother Therapy Q&A] Children who believe social media more than parents

 

Q. My children seem to believe what they have seen or learned in social media more than their parents. Is it OK to leave them as they are? 

A. Many children believe what they have learned through social media more than what they have learned from teachers or parents. Children do not accept what they learn from parents and teachers since they try to impose knowledge and information onto children rather just present them. Especially, adults try to impose their thought standards onto children causing stress and wounds in them. Parents and teachers may prefer imposing knowledge and information onto children, but children just do not like them since it is no fun. 

On the other hand, knowledge and information presented in social media are easy and fun to children to absorb. The methods of presentation leads to the difference in preference even when the contents are identical. However, the problem of learning through social media is that they may lead to the distortion of knowledge and information. Inaccurate knowledge and information may build memories with confusion for children. Children may accept and store in memory distorted ideas since they are easy and fun causing distortion in both knowledge and ability. 

Parents and teachers must immediately correct children's distortion of knowledge and information. Also, people who provide contents on social media for children must produce right and appropriate contents to prevent children from developing psychological problems and problems in forming healthy self-identity.

https://youtu.be/Ga2AlZxQ5Rw

Apply for free consultation on child's psychological problems

[On Human Mind] A person and a person in relationships_If you are suffering from stress and conflicts

 

There is a clear difference between a person and a person in relationships. It must be quite new to most people to differentiate a person and a person in relationships. A person exists all by oneself, and a person in relationship exists interacting with other people. 

A criminal who commits a brutal crime is said to have 'given up on being a human being' since such a person is considered to have destroyed human relationships. When we exist as a person all by ourselves, we are rarely stressed or wounded psychologically. To be able to come up with solutions to overcoming stress and wounds in a healthy way, we need to clearly understand that stress and wounds are generated only in relationships. When you suffer from stress and wounds due to relational conflicts, you must go back to exist as a person all by yourself to heal stress and treat wounds. Trying to deal with stress and wounds staying in relationships only aggravate psychological conditions and practical situations.

It is recommended that you have a pause or a time-out in conflictual situations. Please, do not try to solve the issue staying in relationships, but go back to exist as a person to take a time-out to heal stress and treat wounds separately. Then, it becomes easier to communicate with each other. When you build a habit of going back to exist as a person in stressful situations and healing stress and treating wounds by yourself, you can prevent growing stress and wounds to a great extent. Of course, it may not be easy at first, but it will give you the power to protect your mind in conflictual relationships. 

https://youtu.be/1GUNEwwZ1R4


Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                            http://www.uip.ac  

[Review] Living as a wife, mother, and woman


I was really happy to be notified for a complete recovery via an e-mail. 

I have been married for 35 years. 

I have learned what it is like to live as a woman, to live as a wife, and to live as a mother by taking KIP Treatment. 

My children could have developed healthier psychology if I had known about it sooner, but I still have a chance and I plan to keep helping them as much as I can. 

Many things have changed in my life. 

First, I have learned about the principles of life, which were always only vague to me, and internalized them in my mind. 

Second, I have realized that I have lived only as a wife and mother for the whole time, but it is living as a woman that should be the basis of being happy. 

Also, I think I have developed the ability to be wise in relationships with other people. 

Last but not the least, I can recognize my psychological condition and my facial expressions, which reflect my mind. I have better complexion and skin condition. 

Now, I clearly understand true intentions of contents provided by KIP, which is to prevent people from aggravating their psychological conditions and inflicting damage upon other people and the society. I can also see solutions suggested in the materials of KIP. 

I want to show my deep gratitude to KIP that has walked with me all along to this day!! 


https://youtu.be/frRDjLPg2VU

Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac 

[Infidelity Therapy] The relationship with the husband in infidelity vs. the life of the victimized wife and children


The fact that the husband is in infidelity indicates that he has developed relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder. It destroys all important relationships including marriage relationship and family relationship. The wife develops post traumatic stress and faces the crisis of developing the most severe psychological disorder. Then, what would happen to children? The husband has already destroyed his life and the suffering wife faces the crisis of destroying her life and children's life. In this situation, which is more important, the life of the husband in infidelity or the life of the victimized wife and children?

Unfortunately, the wife may try to restore the husband's life through taking practical measures such as counseling, coaching, lawsuits, and divorce, but end up destroying her life and children's life. In the process of making efforts to restore the husband's life, the wife develops a severe psychological disorder and her mind dies as she feels comfort, pleasure, and happiness in the conscious and makes self-justification. 

The suffering wife has not developed the worst kind of psychological disorder, yet. She must treat post traumatic stress and build happy life with children. Then, she can provide an opportunity and environment for the husband to treat relationship addiction. By not treating post traumatic stress, the wife is admitting that it is natural that the life of everyone in the family should be destroyed, and it is her duty and responsibility. It is likened to admitting that their life is worthless enough. It is the same as admitting that she does not want to spend time, effort, and expense to treat post traumatic stress and build happiness, and admitting that she is willing to continue to spend time, effort, and expense to promote misfortune in all family members. 

As their life is destroyed, all family members are taken advantage of by selfish people physically, mentally, sexually, and financially. They may even end up becoming selfish people who destroy other innocent people's lives. It is simply absurd to think that you don't need to treat post traumatic stress when you and your children are doomed to live an unhappy and destructive life.

                                 https://youtu.be/zf5R_pWHU2g                

                                    

                    About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

3/14/2022

[Mother Therapy_Q&A] My daughter tells me to stop being obsessive about her.


Q. I leave home for work early in the morning before my 13-year-old daughter gets up. I am worried about her getting up and going to school late, so I often call her to check. One day, she told me to stop being obsessed about her and checking on her. I keep calling her since she does not answer my text messages. I wouldn't call if she lets me know how she is doing, saying she got up or she is leaving for school. Am I being obsessive? Can mothers with strong maternal instinct become obsessive towards children?

A. You are not being obsessive at all. You care so much about your daughter and you just want to take good care of her. However, your daughter may feel uncomfortable since you act only according to your own thought standards. You may feel anxious since you are worried about her not getting up on time and missing school. You may feel upset when she cannot be contacted, causing conflicts between you and your daughter. When such situations repeatedly occur, your daughter may think that you force your ideas upon her and feel uncomfortable.

Maternal love makes you feel happy just by giving love to children and it cannot be strong or weak. When mothers' expression of love is excessive or distorted, it indicates that they expect something in return for their giving love. You may have expected your daughter to respond to your giving in a sweet way and behave as you wish. True maternal love is the kind of love that stabilizes and nourishes children's body and mind. When mother's love makes children feel uncomfortable and hurt, it is considered to be driven by mother's own distorted desire instead of love.

You must reflect upon your thoughts and behaviors. You may have anxiety, which makes you feel constantly worried about your daughter. You must also talk about practical matters with your daughter and about her daily life considering her point of view as well as yours. You may find your daughter's ideas and feelings you have never thought about, and she may also be able to learn about what you think and how much you love her. Then, you and your daughter can negotiate and adjust for what both of you can do for each other in a positive way. Maternal love is supposed to make children feel secure, comfortable, and happy. It is unconditional love that never demands a return from children in any form.

https://youtu.be/qH-eq6CNXWM


[Review] I want to praise myself for winning through the difficult time.

 

It is a peaceful and calm weekend.

My husband went out early to see his friends, 

children are enjoying the time doing things they want, 

and I am reading next to the window with a cup of coffee. 


I read what I wrote on the cover of the book last year. 

'Yeah, it was a hard time for me.' 

I feel overwhelmed for a second remembering the time. 

I feel not pain and sorrow 

but fullness and pride for winning through the difficult time. 


I have read other members' reviews.

I thought I wanted to share my experiences, too.

The fact that I have such an idea must indicate that I am free from pain now and have been treated.   


Everything I went through feels almost like some good experience rather than pain. 

As I was told when I started KIP Treatment Program, 

things that caused pain and suffering in me are becoming old memories. 

Still, I plan to keep making efforts until I reach full recovery.


https://youtu.be/a6QeYmyduXU


Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                                       http://www.uip.ac

[Infidelity Therapy] How to defeat the devil called spouse infidelity

 

The spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which is a psychological disorder. Relationship addiction is a psychological disorder that destroys all healthy human relationships. Relationship addiction recurs and keeps deteriorating for the whole life time unless adequately treated. 

People in infidelity justify their behaviors. They keep relationships mostly only with people in infidelity and develop distorted ideas of love and sex. They begin to destroy normal relationships including marriage and family relationships. 

The victimized spouse develops post traumatic stress, with which all his or her life experiences turn into stress and wounds, and he or she experiences the pain of death and life crisis. When victimized spouses suppress their feelings without adequate treatment and become dependent on people or activities such as parenting, work, religion, study, or hobbies, they end up living in unhappiness for the rest of their life. Also, most attempts to deal with the situation of spouse infidelity by taking practical measures including counseling, coaching, lawsuits, or divorce aggravate post traumatic stress, and make them destroy healthy relationships with people including their own children. When victimized spouses are not adequately treated for post traumatic stress, they are bound to live the worst kind of life they can imagine. 

When spouse infidelity occurs, marriage relationship and family relationship are considered to be going through a crisis. Then, should we just be devastated and give up? Fortunately, you are in a crisis situation but you still have a chance / to restore your happiness and healthy marriage and family relationships by taking the right steps. 

Step 1 : To transform your life into a happy one by treating post traumatic stress. 

You must transform your thoughts and emotions into healthy ones that you had before the discovery of spouse infidelity. You must also build problem solving ability and wound treatment ability for future life. As you proceed with the treatment of post traumatic stress, you can build these abilities and can prevent the recurrence of post traumatic stress. Post traumatic stress turns all your life experiences into stress and wounds referred to as fake stress and wounds, triggered by the incident of spouse infidelity. You can restore happiness only when you treat the condition of post traumatic stress.

Step 2. To make decisions on marriage relationship. 

When you have built happiness ability, with which you can be happy on your own, you can give your spouse an opportunity to treat relationship addiction and decide whether you will stay in marriage or get a divorce. 

Step 3. To live a happy life and take practical measures on infidelity issues. 

You will live a happy life regardless of your marital status and your spouse's psychological condition. Now, you can also take practical measures on infidelity issues such as lawsuits or divorce with healthy psychology and right judgment. 

     If you are suffering from pain and confusion due to spouse infidelity, please, make reference to the provided guideline to overcome the crisis and restore happiness in a true sense. 

https://youtu.be/KbYTCa6iz4U


 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

3/11/2022

[Life Crisis] Wealthy and successful people need to build leader psychology.

 

We usually classify people into wealthy and successful class, middle class, and poor class with respect to economic and social status. We can also classify people's psychology into leader psychology, psychology of self-actualization, and psychology of survival.

The combination of economic and social class and psychological class leads some people to live a happy life benefiting self and others and being respected by everyone. It leads others to live an unhappy life destroying self and others and being condemned by everyone.

Especially, wealthy and successful people cannot but have great social influences whether they are positive or negative. Thus, wealthy and successful people's psychological status is intimately associated with the society's overall condition and wellbeing.

For example, when wealthy and successful people have healthy leader psychology, they use their power of influence to lead other people to happiness. People in middle class and poor class can have more opportunities for self-actualization and survival, they pay respect to wealthy people who help them, and the society progresses in the direction of happiness and prosperity.

However, when wealthy and successful people live with distorted psychological condition, they prioritize their own individual happiness. Then, people with less economic ability and lower social status are more deprived of opportunities to pursue happiness since people cannot but affect one another in human relationships and people with wealth and success and distorted psychology negatively influence other people with more power. When wealthy people with the psychology of self-actualization or survival pursue distorted happiness with greed and selfishness, many people's pursuit of happiness is destroyed. Then, everyone in the society suffers and lives of many people are destroyed.

Not all wealthy and successful people have leader psychology, so they must try to build healthy leader psychology when they achieve financial and social success. You cannot just automatically obtain leader psychology when you rise from middle class or poor class to wealthy and successful class. 

Also, they must lead their children and their spouse to build leader psychology. Then, they can enjoy not only economic affluence but also true happiness, which is accompanied by respect from other people and prosperity of the whole society. When wealthy people and their family cannot build healthy leader psychology, they may look fancy and happy outside, but they live in pain and unhappiness inside with insatiable greed and distorted desire. They may develop compensation mentality with self-display and over-consumption seeking pleasure and indulgence at all costs. Wealthy and successful people with distorted psychology inflict great damage upon many people and aggravate division and conflict in the whole society. Then, the society will have more and more people with distorted and destructive psychology in all social and financial classes. 

If you feel that you and people around you are not happy even when you are rich and successful, you may greatly benefit from Consultation on Leader Psychology. For your wealth and success to be valued and be connected with happiness in a true sense, you need to live in healthy relationships with other people with harmony and order. Consultation on Leader Psychology will help you build and maintain healthy leader psychology so that you can achieve happiness in a true sense on top of what you have already achieved. 


Apply for free consultation on psychological problems

                            http://www.uip.ac   

[Infidelity Therapy] People who disseminate contents on infidelity are screwing up others with them.

 

Many individual stories about infidelity are publicized through mass media or social media. These publicized stories about infidelity draw many people's attention. Both the person whose story is known to general public and people who are exposed to the stories may suffer from diverse types of psychological damage. 

Anyone can experience infidelity cases during their life directly or indirectly, getting involved in infidelity themselves or being influenced by infidelity of people who are close to them. Such experiences can cause crisis situations in people involved, with great adverse effects on self and others. People who are exposed to infidelity cases even remotely are also under the influence of adverse effects of damaging their psychology and aggravating existing wounds and stress. 

People who become interested in stories of infidelity of people they don't even know are also negatively affected by the operation of emotional assimilation. They may become to think, feel, and express the experience as if it happened to themselves. As such indirect experiences are repeated and continued, their psychology may begin to develop problems in spite of themselves. 

People who produce dramatic and sensational contents on infidelity cases in social media and mass media can be considered to be causing psychological pathologies in general public. It is a pity that neither those who produce harmful contents nor those who expose themselves to them do not realize the magnitude of both individual and social problems. Many people who produce such contents consciously focus on selfish gains and financial profits neglecting the damage they may inflict on innocent people. The more dramatic and sensational, the more psychological damage and the more gain and profit. When someone produce and disseminate contents on infidelity knowing their adverse effects, it must be considered as a crime.

https://youtu.be/LHqdnTA_2pA


3/01/2022

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] To those who are hesitating even at this very moment

 

I could sense that my husband had changed a bit,  

but I just assumed that he was also going through some tough time like others in their 40s.

I thought it would just pass naturally. 

After all, we had been happily married for more than 10 years. 

I had never imagined that he would have an affair.  


I was completely at a loss 

when I found out that he was actually having an affair. 

I had insomnia, was extremely irritable, 

lost more than 10 pounds in a week, and even missed my cycles. 

I was looking for causes I could never figure out. 

I blamed myself for all possible things. 

I kept trying to find some solutions. 

Everyday felt like a year. 

I was in pain every moment I was awake. 

I even thought about taking drastic actions. 


I hesitated to take the treatment since it seemed expensive and time consuming. 

I became dependent on Youtube videos. 

They gave me temporary comfort and consolation, but didn't solve any problem. 


One day, it just occurred to me that I had children. 

My children…. 

They were studying my face constantly. 

I suddenly came to my senses. 

'What have I done to them? 

I can't let my children be miserable no matter how much pain I have.' 

I began to take KIP Treatment Program. 


My children began to change for the better 

as my wounds were treated through watching training videos and doing therapeutic tasks.

I regret that I wandered about and hesitated for a few months before taking the treatment. However, I am grateful to myself that I made a right choice. 


I want to praise myself for not destroying myself further, 

not wandering about for too long, 

learning about Korea Institute of Psycho-education, 

and focusing on my treatment. 

I am still going forward to build happiness. 

I am trying to protect my precious life and my children.


Your decision may make the difference of night and day. 

If you are hesitating even today, I suggest you should give it a try and try hard. 

You will see what it means by the difference between knowing and not knowing about human mind. 

https://youtu.be/YwiJVBfS_xg

2/27/2022

[Infidelity Therapy] 3 Steps to take upon the discovery of spouse infidelity

 

     Upon the discovery of spouse infidelity, most people develop post traumatic stress with severe psychological pain and run about in confusion. They are overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions but cannot judge what is right or wrong, and they are simply swallowed by pain and rage. They may end up destroying everything with their own hands. If you want to overcome post traumatic stress and restore a healthy and happy life, you must take actions following the order provided. 

     The first and foremost thing you must do is to become independent psychologically. When you experience excruciating pain due to spouse infidelity, / you must focus on your existence as an individual rather than on your existence in marriage relationship until you recover healthy psychology. The decision on whether you will stay married or get a divorce can wait until then. Any practical measures taken to recover or sever marriage relationship in the condition of post traumatic stress will only expedite the destruction of individuals and family. The moment you discover spouse infidelity, you must simply erase the idea of marriage or divorce. 

     You must put yourself out of marriage relationship and achieve psychological independence. You must make it clear that you exist as an individual before you exist as a spouse or a partner in a relationship. You and your spouse are still parents of your children, but must stay psychologically separated until you restore healthy psychology. It is only natural that you are in great pain, but you must prepare yourself to live happily regardless of the presence or absence of your spouse. 

     The second most important thing to do is to become independent economically. You must be able to support and protect yourself and your children without other people's help. Economic independence does not mean that you must have the ability to live affluently. You just need to achieve sufficient economic independence with which you and your children can live in a safe and healthy environment. 

     As you make efforts to achieve psychological and economic independence, the treatment of post traumatic stress must be proceeded adequately. You can make right judgment and decision and take right actions only when you restore healthy psychology. In the process, you may also be able to give your spouse an opportunity to treat his or her psychological disorder. 

     The third thing you must do is to make decisions on practical matters such as restoring marriage relationship or getting a divorce. By then, you must have fully recovered and have the ability for right judgment for a happy life. You will be happy and will not experience much difficulty even when you get a divorce since you have prepared yourself well.

     Many practical measures people take when spouse infidelity occurs presuppose that you and your spouse still exist as people in relationships rather than as a self-contained individual. You must go back to exist as an individual to adequately address the condition of post traumatic stress. It is quite ineffective and even dangerous to approach the issue of spouse infidelity and post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity from conventional points of view. It is recommended that you make efforts to restore healthy psychology and a happy life in the right direction with the right method.

https://youtu.be/yI_B_AgfZZY

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

2/22/2022

[Mother Therapy_Q&A] My daughter won't talk to me and wants to stay alone.  


Q. I am worried about my 13-year-old daughter. She used to be a very sweet girl who would always talk to me about every little thing about her daily life. However, these days, she wants to stay alone most of the time. Recently, she came home and just slammed the door into her room. I knocked on the door and asked her what happened, but she refused to talk and told me to leave her alone. I am really worried since she has suddenly changed so much.  

A. As a child's body grows, his or her mind also grows. They will not stay forever as what they are as children. Parents can easily see their body grow everyday but the growth of their mind is less visible, so parents may assume that their mind stays pretty much the same as before. One day, parents may suddenly realize that their children have changed a lot and become worried not knowing what to do.

When they are still in elementary school or before they reach the age of adolescence, they are quite close to parents and talk with them about almost everything no matter how trivial the topic is. Children's patterns of expressions naturally change as they enter the age of adolescence and develop their own thought standards, which are likely to be different from those of parents. They may sometimes disagree with parents and want some psychological space of their own. All these behaviors indicate that they have entered the developmental stage of the formation of self-identity, which usually covers the ages between 13 to 19. 

It is only a natural part of psychological growth, but parents may feel worried when they do not understand about the developmental process of child psychology and have not expected such a phenomenon. They may overreact and assume that there is something wrong with the child's condition or situation including school life or relationships with friends. 

Your daughter seems to be able to express her emotions and ideas clearly by saying that she wants to stay alone. If you still keep pushing her for talking with you, she may think that you are not listening to her and do not respect her ideas, which, in turn, makes her talk with you less and less. Therefore, you must first show her your respect for her ideas and let her have some time and space to herself. 

Please, understand that not only her body but also her mind grows as time goes by. Now, she is in the developmental phase of the formation of self-identity, where she is working on developing her own thought standards. You can be assured that your daughter is growing with healthy mind instead of being worried about her changed behaviors. Of course, she may experience many trials and errors in the process. 

When parents accurately understand about the growth process of children's psychology development and adopt adequate parenting strategies, children can develop healthy body and mind within the boundary of the safe environment parents have set up for them.

https://youtu.be/-2OblNEeCYo

Apply for free consultation on child's psychological problems

Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/

2/21/2022

[Infidelity Therapy] Types of responses husbands make when they are caught cheating

 

There are so many different responses husbands make when they are caught cheating  depending on the husband's habits and the wife's response types. However, they can be categorized into roughly 10 different types. 


1. Husbands who realize how wrong they were and truly ask for forgiveness. 

2. Husbands who ask for forgiveness but do not realize how wrong they were. 

3. Husbands who admit their wrongdoing but cannot stop infidelity. 

4. Husbands who keep silence on the issue of their infidelity.

5. Husbands who continue infidelity secretly.

6. Husbands who blame the wife for their infidelity.

7. Husbands who display violent behaviors. 

8. Husbands who leave home. 

9. Husbands who overreact and turn on the wife. 

10. Husbands who explain about their affair to the wife in detail. 


Whatever type of behaviors they display, it is simply to avoid or remove stress they perceive from the situation. Husbands caught cheating perceive almost everything related with the wife as stress. Especially, when the wife expresses rage and anger interrogating, crying, or clinging, they sense extreme stress, which may be comparable to the pain of death. 

Therefore, the wife should not judge the situation according to the husband's responses, believe what he says, put any meaning to his actions and words, or expect anything from him. The wife just needs to make efforts to treat her own condition of post traumatic stress as she would treat her physical illnesses when her body is sick.

The wife can set a new direction of her happiness and give the husband an opportunity to treat his condition only when she restores healthy psychology. She cannot live a happy life even if she divorces her husband if she still has to carry on with the condition of post traumatic stress inside her. 

The wife must not be affected by any of the husband's responses upon the discovery of husband infidelity. She must treat post traumatic stress and build happiness ability before anything. Working to build her happiness in the future is not necessarily related with the husband. 

When the wife does not treat her post traumatic stress and takes other practical measures such as suppressing her feelings and enduring the situation, trying to get even with the husband and the adulteress, taking counseling and coaching, developing dependency on medical care, filing lawsuits, or getting a divorce, her post traumatic stress may advance at a fast rate and she ends up living an unhappy life destroying her life and the life of her children. In the process, the husband's relationship addiction also deteriorates at a fast rate. 

The couple do not nave to stay in marriage to be happy when infidelity occurs. However, the treatment of post traumatic stress must precede any discussion, judgment, or decision on the path of future life. When the wife's post traumatic stress is cured and she can live happily with children, any judgment and decision based on her healthy psychology will lead her to happiness. 

https://youtu.be/BtQXxTOFV-8


2/16/2022

[Review_Infidelity Therapy] I fought and I won! (overcoming husband infidelity)

 

Finally, the day has come!

"Congratulations! we are pleased to inform you that you have achieved complete recovery.”

I blankly looked at the sky with the setting sun for quite a while.

I have spent the last 4 years to hear this message...


I looked back at the days before I started treatment.

My whole life collapsed due to husband infidelity. I simply wanted to stop living. 

I had never even imagined such a thing could happen to me. 


My body collapsed. My children were in fear looking at me.  

Everyday was as if I were in the hell.   

I couldn't talk to anyone and endured all by myself. I cried so much.  


I decided to begin treatment to save myself and my children. 

I gradually learned about my mind, and made efforts to rebuild my life on my own. 

I repeated falling and rising within the guideline of the treatment program, 

and I encouraged myself to continue for buiding happiness habits. 


I guess I was changing slowly. Children began to smile. My husband began to join family.  


It has been a week after I got the report of full recovery. I am having a good life everyday. 

I still keep doing therapeutic tasks, just for myself. 

I generate xes energy through Xes Training, just for myself.  

I have enough amount of love and happiness to give to my children.  


Children do not seem scared anymore even when I get angry. 

I guess I express differently from when I was in pain. 

I can see that I am smiling most of the time. We are all smiling most of the time.  


I have trust in myself that I will be just fine no matter what.  

I know how to stay happy inside myself under any circumstance, and I also know how to rise when I fall. 

My life is going forward for happiness. 


I was lucky to be given the opportunity for KIP Treatment Program. 

It was one of the most valuable education I had in my life. 

I realized how great the difference between knowing and not knowing is. 


Keep up with your efforts, everyone!

https://youtu.be/lfKgSs4D0JQ

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Infidelity Therapy] You will ruin your life if you sue the adulteress right away.

 

<Q> “I am suffering from excruciating pain caused by husband infidelity.” 

<A> The wife suffers from great pain since she has developed post traumatic stress. Post traumatic stress makes her sense not only the incident of infidelity but also all her life experiences with her husband as pain, which is referred to as ‘fake wounds’. The more the wife has had a good marriage life, the greater pain of post traumatic stress she senses. It is only natural that the wife suffers from great pain upon the discovery of husband infidelity. 

<Q> “Will I recover when my husband breaks up with the adulteress and comes back to me?”

<A> Suppose that the wife makes efforts to restore marriage relationship and the husband comes back to her. Actually, the wife’s post traumatic stress and the husband’s relationship addiction get aggravated in the process of making efforts since they add more wounds in the wife and more stress in the husband. Eventually, the restoration of marriage becomes more difficult and their relationship is more likely to worsen in the end. The whole situation unfolds in the opposite way from what the wife wishes for. 

<Q> “Most people around me tell me that I must break them apart and sever their relationship to have my husband back. Is that true?”

<A> They say so because they only see the surface phenomenon and do not accurately understand the erroneous operation of the wife’s and the husband’s psychology. Husband infidelity occurs when he develops relationship addiction, in which he becomes addicted to the adulteress’s response. The wife has developed post traumatic stress. They cannot engage themselves in normal psychological interactions. Most people assume that causes of husband infidelity are problems of marriage, sex, or love, so they simply think that they need to address those issues directly. 

People who advise on infidelity issues think that they have done the right thing since, at least on the surface, they helped the husband break up with the adulteress and come back to the wife. However, it is the wife and the husband who have to suffer and make all the efforts only to aggravate their psychological conditions leading to even worse practical situations in the future. 

<Q> “Does it mean that even experts advise for suing the adulteress knowing that it will aggravate the situation? How could they do that?”

<A> Of course, they may be well intended since filing a lawsuit against the adulteress makes the wife feel a little comfortable as far as they understand. Some experts advise for lawsuits to truly help the wife since they don’t understand the true nature and the root cause of infidelity. Others may seek their own interest associated with the procedure of lawsuits and divorce. Again, it is the wife and the husband who end up dealing with dire consequences of inadequate actions. 

Some people may induce the wife to develop the idea that the husband is a bad person for cheating her and encourage her to divorce him. Then, the wife may become thankful to them and they may take advantage of the wife in many ways. They are actually committing crimes in disguise of kindness and good intention. 

<Q> “What? Then, are people who advise for the lawsuit against the adulteress and divorce hiding their intention to take advantage of the suffering wife?” 

<A> Of course not. Not everyone is ill-intended. People who understand the true nature of infidelity or people who accurately understand that the couple can overcome the adversity and restore true happiness would recommend the treatment of post traumatic stress before filing a lawsuit against the adulteress. 

However, anyone who does not take consideration of the whole life the couple have had together or the wife’s suffering, and just advises for taking practical measures such as lawsuits and divorce is definitely trying to take advantage of the wife. Some of them even may try to make the wife dependent on them by gaslighting her. 

<Q> : Then, should I never sue the adulteress to break them apart?”

<A> Of course, you can sue the adulteress, but only after you recover. You must sue the adulteress after you recover your healthy psychology by adequately treating the condition of post traumatic stress. When the wife treats her condition and restores healthy psychology, she can have the ability to adequately resolve infidelity issue on her own, and live happily regardless of practical situations. The wife must restore healthy psychology first regardless of her husband’s condition, and then, she can take any practical measures she wants. 

When the wife can live happily with children after full recovery, she can decide on whether to stay in marriage or get a divorce as well as on other practical matters as she herself chooses. 

https://youtu.be/_viOOa521Ic

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

[Review] Time for getting to know myself

I always blamed my family background and my own inability while I was growing up.  I suffered from husband infidelity, and my children were ...