When we discuss sex, it's often a binary
pro/con debate in terms of pleasure and love, but it shouldn't be a binary of
which is right and which is wrong. When we think of sex in terms of love, we
generally have a lot of positive feelings, but when we think of sex in terms of
pleasure, we have more negative feelings. We might ask if pleasure is bad,
because pleasure is a strong positive feeling, so why do we have negative
feelings about sexual pleasure?
This is because pleasure and love work
differently in the mind: pleasure is the maximization of the sensations felt in
your own sensory organs, and it's only for yourself. Love, on the other hand,
is the work of the human mind in the company of another human being. That's why
pleasure itself isn't bad, but it can destroy relationships and cause harm to
others, because when you pursue only your own pleasure, you don't care about
others at all. Sex, in particular, is an act of intense pleasure. If you start
to think of the other person as a means to an end, with the sole purpose of
your own sexual pleasure, it will destroy both your own psychology and that of
others.
So what about the idea that sex is
love"? Technically, sex is not love, but sex is a natural accompaniment to
a romantic human relationship. Sex serves to strengthen the passion of a man
and the love of a woman. Sex is an accompaniment to love, but sex cannot be
love. If sex is love, then it must follow that if there is no sex, there is no
love.
So we shouldn't look at sex from a binary
perspective, debating whether it's love or pleasure. The correct definition of
sex is a sexual act and nothing more. We use sex as a means for living happily
as human beings with love and passion. The energy created through sex enhances
love, passion, and happiness.
It's worth noting that when we don't know
exactly how sex gives us pleasure, how it strengthens passion and love, and
what the purpose of sex is, our values about sex become muddled, leading to
distorted ideas and conflicts in human relationships.
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