[Mother Therapy] Is this the same son I knew?

 

     Does your adolescent son make no sense to you? Do you wonder what's in his head? Don't know what the heck is wrong with him? Then, just stand by him, trust him, and he'll go through it on his own. Adolescence is an inevitable and necessary part of growing up. He has been learning how to relate to people in a sheltered environment so far, and now he is creating his own thought standards, which is naturally accompanied by anxiety and confusion, and then, there's the physical changes called secondary sex characteristics, and you are having a very disconcerting experience with your son who's not the same as before.

     As a mom, it's hard to accept the unfamiliarity of your son, and you try to talk to him, soothe him, and argue with him to get him back to the way he used to be. It's unnerving to think that he's becoming less and less like the child you once knew.

     Of course, you went through puberty yourself, so you often look at your child through the lens of your own experience, but you are looking at the situation from the perspective of the mother but not the child, and his circumstances and environment are completely different from yours. You are a woman, so it is hard for you to know about the changes in boys during that period. If you look at your son through the lens of your own experience, you are bound to make a lot of errors.

     So you send an SOS to your husband and tell him to do something about it, but he says, “Leave him alone,” which can make you feel like he's not interested in parenting and that only you are freaking out, but that's not the case. He's actually offering a good solution, and you're just feeling frustrated and upset that he didn't say it the way you thought he would.

     Your son needs time to himself while he's still developing his own thought standards. This doesn't mean you shouldn’t care whatever he does. It means you should care but not interfere. Sometimes the mother has limited thought standards, so she cannot see him from a lot of different perspectives. He may be doing something wrong, but if he's not hurting anyone or getting into legal problems, share your experiences and information with him, but don't push it. If you're consistent and trusting, he'll form his own healthy thought standards through trial and error, and the day will come when you'll look at each other and smile as if you never had had this conflict.

     We're all different, but we make the mistake of assuming that others will be like us, especially in intimate relationships. If you recognize your son as an independent person and support his growth, he'll find his own way. It may not make sense by your standards, but just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it's all wrong. You can use your son's adolescence as an opportunity not only for him but also for you to grow. 

                                https://youtu.be/nvb8UKoI5Zg?si=oOMkYbvxfxr2MKOj

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                              Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Sex & Xes] Sex for happiness vs. sex for pleasure

 

Sex can have either positive or negative effects on humans. The effects of sex are so powerful that they are more extreme than others. When we have sex, our xes psychology comes into play, and it always works in conjunction with our psychology. It's actually psychology that's felt in conscious, and xes psychology operates without being recognized in the conscious.

When a man's psychology is positively affected by his xes psychology, it becomes a source of passion for him. Compared with the passion generated by positive moods in everyday life, the passion generated through having sex is very powerful, so if you pursue values for happiness based on the passion generated through sex, you will be able to immerse yourself in the pursuit of values more powerfully. This is the case where sex works positively in a man’s life.

Also, when a woman's psychology is positively affected by sex, her feelings of love grow. Even if she fights and struggles with her man, when the xes psychology is activated through having sex with him, xes energy is transformed into feelings of happiness as it heals her wounds, and the feelings of love for her partner grow. When the feelings of love grow, the woman feels that she has a meaningful life and happiness. The love and meanings of life that sex creates for a woman in a positive way is the happiness she feels. When sex works positively for men, activating strong passions and values, men also feel happiness.

However, when sex works in a negative way in men, with xes psychology being distorted, psychological disorders occur. In this case, xes energy, which is much greater than general energy, acts as a destructive force. Although men's passion and value pursuits are increased through sex, they become passion and value pursuits for sex and pleasure, not for happiness in life. Then, they perceive sex as the most important thing in life, and they think that without sex, they are not happy.

The same applies to women. They feel so much love and so much meanings of life through sex, and sex becomes the object of their love. Then, they think that if they don't have sex, they can’t love, and if they don't have sex, their partner doesn't mean anything to them. Their children, who cannot be the object of sex, become nothing. Psychologically disturbed women with distorted concepts of sexuality don't take good care of their children because without sex, there is no love and no meaning of life for them.

Men and women with healthy psychology activate passion and pursue values for true happiness, They have a clear understanding of true love and meanings of life. Normally, men are passionate about their work and feel relaxed and happy when they come home from work. However, men with psychological disorders don't want to come home from work since they always pursue pleasure. Women also live their lives thinking that the love they feel from sex is what makes them happy. This is something that is actually recognized by them, so they can't accept the other way no matter how many people around them tell otherwise.

Having sex can be the best thing in human life when it works in a positive way, but the worst thing when it works in a negative way. Worse yet, in the case of psychological disorders, the perception of good and bad is reversed, so that sex that destroys lives is perceived as being very good and exciting, and sex that creates happiness is perceived as being boring and pathetic. This is usually the case with people who emphasize sex techniques and pleasure of sex, and tell us that we should all enjoy this good thing.

Psychological disorders can occur to anyone at any time, so it's important to accurately understand how human sexuality and mind work and prevent the distortion of sexuality and psychology. Please, take a look at whether you are living your life for the pleasure of sex sacrificing other values and meanings of life, or using sex as a means to an end to achieve true happiness.

                            https://youtu.be/Qmzsdt31050?si=RAcln2tZ-k-RMWg3

              About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] A quiet Child

 

Your child may start talking about something and then shut up. You may wonder what's wrong with him or her and feel frustrated. Why are some children so quiet? There can be many different reasons, depending on the environment and situation, so there's no "one answer" to why children are quiet. However, children often choose to remain quiet when parents insist on their own opinions.

Many parents mistakenly believe that they are having a conversation with their children when they assert or persuade them of their opinions. A conversation is an exchange of feelings, and if it's a one-way street, it's coercion or informing, not a conversation.  For example, "Mom, I'm going to go to a study cafe" "What study cafe?" "My friends are going to the study café tomorrow, and I think I will go too because it has a good atmosphere for study" "You don’t study even at home." "That's why I'm going to try it this time" "No, You can just study in your room. Why do you have to spend money to go there?" "Mom, I'm not doing anything else, I'm just saying I'm going to study..." "Why do you stop talking? What is it?"

If you were talking to someone and they kept interrupting you with objections to your opinion, would you be able to continue the conversation? If you feel that you're being questioned and judged, you will stop talking because you don't want to hear what they have to say, no matter how right they are.

When your child expresses their thoughts or feelings, and you respond by arguing with them about whether they're right or wrong, or trying to convince them that your opinion is the only one that applies to them, they're more likely to stop talking because they don't feel the need to continue the conversation. Taking it a step further, if the parent is unable to control his or her emotions and spills over into a harsh outburst, the child will not have the opportunity to speak further, and silence may be the child's choice, either because he or she doesn't know what to say or because he or she wants to avoid making things worse.

This can lead to misunderstandings, as parents freak out and don't think about their own attitude and only see the child's silence as a problem, which leads to a buildup of negative emotions on both parents and children. The conflict is bound to escalate as the parent sees the child's silence as the child's problem. Then, what can you do about it?

Here's what we all know. We know that listening is the first step in having a healthy conversation, but when it comes to the relationship between parents and their children, instead of thinking and expecting them to listen to you, why not try to listen to them first?

For healthy communication between parents and children, it is very important to listen to your child's thoughts and opinions without judgment, even if they are different from your own knowledge and experience. It's also important to note that your child may need time to process and recover from their silence. However, if you notice that a period of silence is getting too long, try changing the subject to get the conversation going again. This may even give you a chance to open up about previous conflicts.  

                           https://youtu.be/QYRrXij0Pvg?si=zxXub4FjuMuh8l3p

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[Sex & Xes] The Duality of Sex in Women

 

Having sex generates a lot of emotional energy for women, and it's important to know whether that energy is positive or negative. There are two things that women perceive in their minds when it comes to sex: One is pleasure and the other is the opposite emotion, which is psychological wounds.  Both pleasure and wounds are felt as the mind processes information about sexuality, and the xesmind uses the information about sexuality as a vehicle to ensure that the emotions felt in the mind are in pursuit of happiness. If a woman's mind is happy, having sex serves to make her happier, and if she has wounds in mimind, it works to repair the wounds.

So when a woman is suffering from wounds in her mimind, she feels she needs attention and consolation: she feels lonely, she wants to be loved, she wants to meet with someone and talk about her frustrations. This is what moves mimind to engage xesmind, or more precisely, to engage xesmind to heal the wounds. If she receives attention and consolation from a man, she will feel attracted to him by activating her xesmind. If a woman's wound is really big, her xesmind will work even harder, and she will love the person who gives her attention and consolation.

In this way, a woman's xesmind energizes her mimind to heal her wounds, and if she has no wounds, it enhances her happiness. So in essence, a woman doesn't need sex just to enjoy sex; it's rather that pleasure comes through sex as a side effect of healing her wounds and enhancing her happiness. This is the state of mind of a woman with a healthy xesmind. The attention and consolation of saying, "I see you're hurting," a simple hug, a pat on the back, or holding her hand, all activates xesmind in women.  

Women with healthy psychological condition don't always have a sex drive, or are physically ready for sex all the time. For them, sometimes sex is good, sometimes it's not. But what happens when a woman is trying to heal wounds and the person who gives her attention and consolation changes? The object of her feelings of love and happiness also changes. If a husband is only hurting his wife and not healing her wounds, and a man who isn't her husband is giving her attention and consolation, she may develop distorted psychological condition. Women need to understand why their minds work the way they do so that they don't think, "I finally found true love," or "I finally found a man who truly cares about me," or "This is the man I was meant to be with," when they are actually taken advantage of sexually.

Men see these women as nothing more than sexual playthings, and if a woman continues to think that the sexual attention she receives from a man is healing her wounds, the wounds actually grow bigger and bigger, and the moment the wounds cross a threshold, she no longer feels them. In a distorted relationship, the wounds don't heal, they get bigger and bigger, and the wounds are covered up by being sexually attended to and experiencing sensory pleasure. The pleasure of sex then feels like the happiness of life, and a woman's sexuality becomes overly activated for the pleasure of sex, so that no matter who she has sex with, her body is always ready, and her sexuality is always activated, so she can have pleasurable sex with anyone.

Women are designed to live for their own happiness through activating sexuality by the workings of her mimind and xesmind. However, when her sexuality is overly activated, dissociation occurs, and she is unable to control the pleasure of sex with mimind, and the workings of her xesmind are directed to the partner, not to her own mimind, turning her into a sexual plaything. At this point, since the woman is already psychologically disturbed, she mistakes this for happiness, and because she has a tremendous amount of wounds that she doesn't recognize, sometimes the slightest stress triggers all of her wounds to come out at once, causing her to lose her reason and lash out. This is hysteria.

Nowadays, many women are exposed to tons of information about sex from a young age, and the age at which hysteria occurs has become much younger. Normally, a woman's healthy mind takes in stress, converts it into wounds, keeps them in mimind until it is healed, and when the wounds are healed, the emotion of happiness is created. However, when a psychological disorder occurs and the woman becomes hysterical, her mimind cannot work to protect her anymore.  

Women need to know how xesmind works, how it relates to the workings of mimind, and how sexuality works in duality in women. Without knowing the mechanism behind it, they can unwittingly lead themselves to their own destruction, driven by feelings and thoughts that they recognize as they perceive them in their consciousness. Knowing these basic concepts can help women protect themselves.

                            https://youtu.be/ATNIOADfl8M?si=Kbm6U-oxLU9CtIZy

           About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] Am I doing a good job raising my child?

 

A few days ago, a young mother asked me for advice about parenting. She, said, “I have a child in kindergarten, and I'm getting help from my parents for child rearing because I'm working and studying at the same time. Recently, my mom said to me, "You feel too sorry for your child when you don't have to. It's not good to coddle children and accept everything they want." Hearing this from the person closest to me made me think seriously about my parenting.”

She said that she looked up the parenting methods of famous people and tried to apply them, and ended up doing the opposite of what she had done before. But the problem was that she didn't know if this was the right way either, and she began to ask herself if she should even continue to work and study, and she was struggling with the question of whether her parenting was having a bad effect on her child, and whether the parenting she was doing now was the right way. I think this is an issue every working mother with young children has. What should we do in this situation?

The first thing to do is to recognize that it's natural to have confusion and difficulties when you're raising your child. Raising a child is naturally difficult and challenging because you're responsible for making sure your child grow up healthy in body and mind, and even if you're experienced in raising children, it's not the same every time. Therefore, it's best to think of it as trial and error because you're new to motherhood and want to do a good job. It's only when you go through this process of thinking about parenting and trying to figure things out that you can and will find and create a parenting style that works for you and your child. It's not something that just "clicks" into place. So it's important to recognize when you're struggling with parenting that you want to do a good job of parenting, and then you can take a step back and look at yourself objectively.

Number two. Take care of your own body and mind before you look for information about parenting. The mind and body are connected, and if your body is struggling, your mind is struggling, and if your mind is struggling, your body is struggling. We've all been there, you're juggling work, studying, and parenting, and sometimes it's hard on your body, which may cause your mind to suffer too. When you feel depressed or frustrated, you are more likely to interpret the same situation in a distorted way. In other words, your perspective changes depending on your current state of mind. Therefore, the most important thing is to have a healthy body and mind.

There's a lot of information out there about parenting. It's not hard to get information about parenting through various media. If you have a healthy body and stable mind, you're more likely to look at things objectively, and you'll be able to separate the good from the bad. Remembering these two points are crucial when you're having doubts or anxiety about your parenting.

You should understand that you feel anxious and worried not because you're doing something wrong with your parenting. Every mother goes through this phase, and you're going to keep having all kinds of parenting concerns until your child becomes an adult. If you keep these two points in mind, you will be able to solve the problems one by one without worrying too much.

                                https://youtu.be/2bC1Hoa_jcg?si=RdU1jUbfh_WEFOxF

                                   Apply for free consultation

                       on child's psychological problem

                              Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

Test on Sexual Desire is now available free of charge.

                          

                          'Test on Sexual Desire' is now available free of charge.

Korea Institute of Psycho-education developed The Theory of Mimind, The Theory of Xesmind, Mind Training (Self-treatment Method without Psychology Counseling), Methods of Consultation on Life and Mind, and has been providing services for almost 10 years. It has been developing applications for testing, treatment, and solution since June, 2024.

 

‘Test Sexual Desire’ has been developed and is available free of charge.

 

You can test your and your partner’s sexual desire (based on The Theory of Xesmind) in a simple and fun way. It is provided in English, Korean, and Japanese. (Other languages including Chinese, and Spanish will be added soon)

 

[Google App Store]

- URL : https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ac.kip.libido_test_app

- App Title : Test Sexual Desire

 

[Apple App Store]

- URL : https://apps.apple.com/kr/app/test-libido/id6504468801

- App Title : Test Libido

 

Your opinions will be reflected on the next version if you leave comments after using the application.  

 

We plan to continue developing 1 or 2 applications for testing, treatment, and solution every month and develop our own AI in the future.

 

You will be notified when applications are registered at Google App Store and Apple app Store.

 

Thank you for all your support and interest.

 

Korea Institute of psycho-education

- Address : 3^rd Fl. Posta Bldg. 14-13, 78-gil, Teheran-ro, Kangnam-ku, Seoul, South Korea

- Tel. 070-8822-6004, E-mail. kip@kip.ac

 

[Sex & Xes] Men remember sex, but not the partner.

 

Today, we're going to talk about object-specific sexual attraction. You've probably heard people say: "I can't break up with my partner because we are so compatible sexually, or I can't stop thinking about the physical relationship even though I've broken up with him or her." In other words, the sex with someone is so compatible that they want to stay sexually involved even though their minds have moved on.

Neither men nor women understand how this works, so you might think, "Maybe there are just people like that," or "Maybe I haven't met the right person yet," or "Maybe the person I'm seeing right now is just like that!" But technically, this phenomenon doesn't exist in men, and it exists only in women. Let's take a look at how it works.

A man's xesmind will only accept new information that is not in his own xes habits in his xes memory, which is why the saying "the prettiest girl for a man is a new girl" is floating around, and why many men will only save pornography they've seen once and never open it again. Also, a man's xesmind doesn't really care about the partner, but only the realization of sex itself, which means that it's important to express sexuality with words, actions, and facial expressions, and who he has sex with is less important. Of course, men’s mimind distinguishes between women who they love and protect and women who they don't. As motioned many times, what you feel and think is the result of the work of mimind, and the work of xesmind is not felt in the conscious, but only affects the mind.

Can a man, then, be sexually attracted to only one partner? It is impossible. The more sexual information and sexual habits a man has accumulated from a partner, the more his xesmind can no longer sense new sexual information from that partner. Therefore, if you try to apply the concept of sexual attraction limited to a specific partner to a man, you create a self-contradictory proposition that a man can be sexually attracted to a partner only when he no longer feels that partner as a sexual object. 

Of course, this concept of being sexually attracted only to a specific partner doesn't apply to married couples either : it's normal for couples to not feel sexually attracted a lot to each other by the workings of their xesmind and mimind. If men really had a phenomenon of being sexually attracted only to a specific partner that they are accustomed to, the couple would have passionate sex blazing until the day they die. But for men, even if they marry the most beautiful woman in the world, their sexual bliss doesn't last long, because the partner has become a family member that they protect and identify with. 

So why do some men obsess over one woman and say that sex with her is so good because they are so sexually compatible? It's not that they like sex with that woman in particular, but rather that they are addicted to her responses. They have developed a psychological disorder of response addiction where everything she says and does, from everyday life to sex, is perceived as a response and everything feels good. This is called relationship addiction.

This psychological disorder never occurs for their wives, who, by analogy, are the sacred sanctuary, the only place where a psychologically impaired husband can breathe and rest. So no matter how stressed out and fun-loving they are outside, strangely, husbands fall asleep so easily next to their wives. If they don't realize they're tired no matter how much fun activities they have, they are considered to have a psychological disorder, but when they're with their wives, it's not fun, but it's so relaxing. Both husbands and wives misunderstand this phenomenon. They think it's because their love for each other has grown cold.

There's another one. If a man has sex with a woman, and he feels pleasure that he's never experienced before, he doesn't remember the woman herself but he clearly remembers the pleasure of sex that he felt in sex at that time, and because this working of xesmind is recognized only through mimind, he has the illusion that he likes the woman, but what he remembers, at least as far as sex is concerned, is the pleasure of sex, not the partner.

But what about women? Women actually have a phenomenon where they are sexually attracted only to a specific partner. Because women only accept what fits with the sexual information and sexual habits stored in their xes memory, they like familiar sexual information, go deeper with it, and are less likely to try new things. Therefore, familiarity is very important to women. Furthermore, because women bind sex with their emotions, it becomes hard for a woman to imagine having sex with another man if she's already in love with her partner.

In addition, for a woman in a healthy state of mind, sex is just one of many means of love, so sexuality is not necessarily activated by her husband with whom she's already fully bonded. However, when a woman has an affair, she's not in love with her partner, but she's addicted to the attention he gives her. Attention addiction is not the same thing as love, so she feels constantly restless, constantly craving attention and activating her sexuality. It's important to keep in mind that there are so many myths about sex that deal with only what's on the surface, and almost none of them can be believed.

                          https://youtu.be/vqA6cGa7qHE?si=8oC-3mTWiKdej0Ov

             About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Mother Therapy] You think, "I shouldn't be doing this," but you're doing it anyway.

 

You may think, "I'm not going to watch shorts" or "I'm not going to drink coffee," but you're watching shorts and drinking coffee again and again? How nice would it be if you could say, "I shouldn't do it," and then actually not do it. Is it because you have weak willpower that you end up doing more of what you shouldn't do? Or is it because there's something else going on? It's been shown that when you think you shouldn't do something, the thought of not doing it stays in your head, making it more likely that you'll act on it. So if you're constantly thinking, "I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that," you're creating an environment where you can't help but act on it.

So what can you do about it? Well, if there's a habit that you want to avoid, you can do something that you can replace it with, and one of the things that we talked about earlier is thinking about what you can replace it with, like, "I don't want to have coffee this evening," and you can have a warm glass of water or a decaffeinated beverage, or you can read a book, which is a completely different activity, and you can do that, and then you're not only practicing not having coffee in the evening, but also you're not waking up in the middle of the night because you didn’t have coffee, which is good for your sleep. In this way, you're doing what you've substituted for what you shouldn't be doing, and you're getting a lot of side benefits.

You can apply this to create good habits that you've always wanted to create. If you've been struggling with a lot of negative thinking, you can do something to replace it when you have a negative thought. Instead of trying to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, you can just do something to replace it, like doing some light stretching or going for a walk. This will have the effect of stopping the negative thought, but it will also have the effect of stabilizing your psychology as it shifts to a different expression. It won't happen right away, but if you stick with it, you'll build your own healing power, so if you're always telling yourself you're not going to do something, but you find yourself slipping, give this a try.

                            https://youtu.be/67sUN6gvkGM?si=dOVLw3ACJmFEtDtP

                             Apply for free consultation

                       on child's psychological problem

                              Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Sex & Xes] Couples who want to explore threesomes, swapping, or group sex.

 

If you're a couple who wants to explore different types of sex, such as threesomes, swapping, and group sex, but are inexperienced, this video is for you. Sharing and enjoying sex with other people is a risky endeavor, and there's a lot to be careful about and consider, so it's actually best to consult with a sexologist to find the right path for you.

If you just want to share sex with others simply to satisfy your curiosity and desire for greater pleasure, you need to keep in mind that it only takes one try to shatter your marriage and couple relationship because while sex is not the only thing a couple lives for, it is the cornerstone of how you build your relationship.

When you don't know how to use sex as a tool for your happiness, and you make the mistake of taking away your own cornerstone and giving it to someone else, you're tearing your relationship apart. Unfortunately, most people end up destroying themselves and their homes when they try threesomes, swapping, group sex, etc. without knowing how and why.

If you don't fit the description of what I'm about to tell you, you should leave sex with a variety of people only as a sexual fantasy, and focus on sex with your own partner. Usually, when our minds are tilted in the direction of pleasure-seeking, we easily rationalize that "I'll never get in trouble" or "we're all so ready for that," but there's no way back once you've lost everything, so you need to take a good look at your condition to the last minute before the decision.

First, when a couple wants to have sex with someone else, it's usually the husband who convinces his wife to do so, often rationalizing that "it would be good for her to have sex with someone else too" in order to pursue his own sexual fantasies, but the truth is that wives feel the happiest and the most fulfilled in intimate sex with their husbands rather than with someone else.

When considering sex with others, the husband needs to completely put aside his own sex fantasies, his own sexual pleasure, his own sexual performance, etc. and focus solely on what makes his wife happy. He should only look out for and protect his wife before, during, and after sex, and never forget that all sexual actions are being done for her happiness, not his.

And the wife shouldn't think of the other people she's having sex with as human beings - they're just aids to help her and her husband have sex, which means she shouldn't feel any human-to-human feelings for them.

And one thing that should precede all of this is, without a doubt, safety. You need to be physically and psychologically safe, and even if you and your partner are safe people, there's a very good chance that the other people you're having sex with are not. People who participate for the sake of pleasure are either already being sexually taken advantage of, or they're taking advantage of others, and they have no one else in mind but their own pleasure.

This absolute standard is a necessary component for having multi-party sex, and the vast majority of husbands and wives will not meet it. If you think it's easy, you're likely to be doing a lot of arbitrary interpretation to achieve your own sexual pleasure.

 

If you're ready for all of this, then there are a couple of things you need to keep in mind when it comes to practice. First, if you think of the people you're having sex with as human beings, and if you meet the other people without your partner, your relationship with your partner is over, so you should always meet together, have sex together, and go home together. Second, it is very important to have climax with your partner.

Third, couples should always check their condition and be careful not to develop problems. The effect of the sexual act is so powerful that even a small ember of vague concern can turn into a firestorm in an instant. Couples should always make it clear that they can stop whenever they feel something is getting out of line, and of course, the other partner should embrace it and work toward recovery. If things aren't working out, it's important to consult a sex therapist as soon as possible, rather than dragging your feet and trying to recover on your own.

In addition, there should be very specific and strict rules for couples to enjoy sex with others. This is because sex with others is a blank slate and risks becoming an affair, and their happiness can be completely skewed without them even realizing they have a problem. And then, you get the idea that you can have sex with anyone who isn't your spouse in the future, and then with anyone who isn't part of that group, and then with anyone in the world, and you go through life thinking nothing is wrong with that idea. Of course, your relationship with your spouse has long been destroyed.

Unless you accurately understand the true nature and mechanism of sexuality, your good intention to get involved in having sex with others is in vain because sexuality is not something that can be controlled by consciousness. So, before you even consider multi-party sex, your first priority should be to make sex between just the two of you the most passionate, pleasurable, and blissful it can be. If you just know how, you can realize most of your sex fantasies with just the two of you and enjoy sexual happiness like never before. Also, please, remember that not taking responsibility for the sex you choose is a sex crime.

                  https://youtu.be/o3bKd7l6LNM?si=I6t93J2fAhMRC_xY

 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Women Who Like Sex Vs. Women Who Don’t

 

Today, we're going to look at the underlying causes of the phenomenon in which some women like sex and others don't like sex. First of all, whether you like sex or don't like sex is an emotion - it's how your mind feels about the sexual information that comes in through your sensory organs.

Before we get into that, it's important to note that liking sex doesn't necessarily mean that you have a high sex drive. A woman with a high sex drive will have constant thoughts of sex and a desire to have sex, but liking sex means that even if you don't normally have thoughts of sex and don't have a desire, you don't think negatively about sex, and you feel positive about the sensations and feelings when you have sex.

Women who like sex are considered to have a highly developed sensory systems. This means that they have sensitive sensory systems that come into play when they have sex. But these sensory systems are not selectively enhanced only when they have sex. They are actually sensitive across the board. Their sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste all take in more information in a more subtle way than the average woman.

But what happens when this perceived information makes them feel uncomfortable? That means you're more stressed and overwhelmed than the average woman. So if you're a sex-loving woman, it's important to keep your senses as positive as possible, even outside of sex. You need to make an effort to see and hear nice things, and eat good foods whenever possible.

Now, does this mean that women who dislike sex have dull sensory systems and poor sexual functioning? No. If they had dull sensory systems and poor sexual functioning, they would not either like or dislike sex. Then, why do some women dislike sex? It's because the perception of sex in their sensory organs is connected to psychological wounds. Actually, it's more likely that they have developed sensory systems like women who like sex, but the information of sex that they receive so sensitively is connected to psychological wounds, and they feel displeased instead of pleased.

Women who are overly averse to sex, for whatever reason, have deep wounds at play, and a strong desire to repair it, so they have a strong desire to avoid the perception of sexual information in their sensory organs, and to entertain their sensory organs with something else. For example, overly indulging in going to restaurants, listening to ASMR, shopping, traveling, or working hard to improve appearance are all that come from the desire to please the senses. And the root cause is deep psychological wounds that are operating in the unconscious. In cases like this, along with healing the wounds, they need to practice transforming their ideas and values about sex.

Women who like sex and women who don’t are the most different in how their minds work. It's worth noting that sexual desire is not a matter of the sensory systems themselves, so we shouldn't associate liking or disliking sex with sexual desire.

                         https://youtu.be/5-3Hq-Oo82k?si=kOvB8ADSXFG8iumi

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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[Mother Therapy] Should I do what I like or what I’m good at?

 

When we talk about our children's career paths, we often wonder whether they should choose what they're good at or what they like. Someone may say, “You should do what you like, no matter what, because that's what makes you happy!!! It's stressful to do something you don't like.” Someone else may say, "No, no, no. Doing what you like is too idealistic, and it's not realistic to just pick something you like and stick with it without financial backing. Choose what you're good at first, so you can become financially independent, and do what you like later, it's never too late.”

     Both make sense. If you keep doing what you like, it may become what you're good at, or if you keep doing what you are good at, you may become to like it. Am I saying that either choice is fine, whether it's something you're good at or something you like? Yes.

     It doesn't matter if you choose what you're good at or what you like or whatever, as far as you're making your own choices and you're taking responsibility for them. Then, you are more willing to take responsibility for what you're doing, and you are more passionate and more fulfilled. And even if something bad happens on the way, you are more likely to overcome it well because you don’t blame someone else and you motivate yourself to take responsibility.

     In fact, autonomy is associated with higher career success. In the process of pioneering a career, you will encounter various situations, and people who make their own choices are more likely to face them and overcome difficulties instead of avoiding them. It is important to know what you are good at and what you like, but it is more important to make your own choices and take responsibility for them.

     The role of parents, then, is not to choose for them, but to be interested in them, but not to interfere and control them, and to create an environment where they can make their own choices and take responsibility for them. Then, as they experience making small choices and taking responsibility for themselves in their daily lives, this will accumulate and give them the strength to make choices and move forward in their careers.

     At the end of the day, circumstances and environments can change the choices you make, and whether you choose to do something you like or something you're good at, if you choose to do it and take responsibility for it, you will make it a good choice. And this is true for all of us, by the way, not just our kids.

                         https://youtu.be/bYkc6gXsHps?si=SUi6BO8zdHpEehia

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