Korea Institute of Psycho-education

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

10/03/2024

[Sex & Xes] Divorce and Sexuality in Women with Psychological Wounds

Why do women get divorced? Most often, it's because their spouse has caused them a lot of wounds and stress. With small wounds, you may have conflicts and fights sometimes but good things also happen and you can just go on with your marriage feeling OK.

However, when the accumulated wounds become overwhelming, or when a spouse's infidelity, violence, or other circumstances cause unmanageable wounds in women, they turn to divorce as a means of avoiding the wounds. The problem with this is that avoiding the wounds doesn't make them go away, because divorce doesn’t remove the source of the wounds. There are a lot of wounds still staying inside you, just not acted upon because the object that triggered wounds is gone.

A woman's wounds are directly related to her entire xes psychology, including her libido and sexual functioning. Small wounds can heal by understanding the cause of the wound, receiving comfort and attention, but when the wound is too much for the mind to handle, the mind alone cannot repair it, so xesmind comes into play.

When xesmind is activated to repair the wound, even a woman who has never been interested in sex before may have a very strong desire for sex. Not only that, but the sensory organs become very active and sensitive in order to perceive sexual information, and the expression of sexuality is intensified beyond the control of consciousness. In other words, women’s sexual functioning becomes very good along with strong sexual desire, all because of the wounds in the heart.

At this point, the woman either shuts off having sex completely or her sexuality becomes hyper-activated. One may say, “I'm done with men, I'm just going to live happily with my children,” and then she pours all her xes energy, which has grown to the size of her wound, into her children. This is not to say that children are perceived as being sexual to her, but a powerful energy of the size of the wound is poured into children because desire is energy that seeks to fill in what is missing or lacking in oneself.

Wound-based needs become obsession, not love. What happens is that they obsess and over-interfere in their children's every move and mistake it for love. The result is that women end up living their lives based on wounds, and their children end up not being able to live their lives fully because of their mother's wounds.

The other choice is “men,” which is to say, “Okay. I've done enough being a wife and a mom, and now I'm going to love and enjoy my life as a woman.” In this case, the woman’s sexual function and sexual desire are highly enhanced due to the overwhelming wounds. As this is an unrecognized operation of the xesmind, the woman mistakes her change for wanting love.

These women are easy targets for men who only want the pleasure of sex, and men are very aware that when they heal a woman's wounds, having sex follows, as does the heart. Women may consciously think, “I would never do that,” but it's not easy for the mind to control the workings of the xesmind. The stronger the “I would never do that” in the conscious mind, the stronger the opposite is in the unconscious mind. The conscious mind thinks you want a man's love, but what you really want in the unconscious is sex, not love.

If you remarry, you promise yourself countless times that you won't repeat the mistakes of the last time, and you're convinced that your new spouse will be different from the last one. Of course, in the beginning, it's too good to be true. The sex is so good, and the good times keep rolling. But as you get more intimate with your partner, the more unconscious wounds that have been building up are expressed. And then, the day you recognize something that reminds you of the events that led to the previous divorce, you have a situation where all of the old wounds come out. Then, can the new spouse handle it?

Human sexuality is a double-edged sword, and depending on how you use it, it can either kill you completely or keep you completely healthy. It has a tremendous amount of energy, but right now, everyone is unaware of its nature, so they use it to kill others and kill themselves under the illusion of love and pleasure.

Since women’s sexuality is directly related to psychological wounds, it is important to remember that when you have many wounds inside you, it is imperative to heal the wounds first. No human being can think correctly and constructively when they are in negative emotions, and in major life events such as marriage and divorce, it is imperative to heal the wounds first to create the ability to be happy to protect yourself and children.

https://youtu.be/QYyiIN0O8tk?si=iWnGPPid2L3tWerN

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

9/25/2024

[Sex & Xes] Prejudice against homosexuality

Homosexuality itself is not a psychological disorder or problem, but the causes of a person developing a homosexual orientation can be problematic. The causes of men becoming homosexual are slightly different from the causes of women becoming homosexual. If a person's sexual orientation is formed as part of their natural psychological development, it's not so problematic. They can live their lives in the same healthy way as someone who loves the opposite sex.

For men, the pursuit of more stimulating sexual pleasures can lead to homosexuality. Since men are relatively much more liberal than women when it comes to sexual behavior, sex between men is often much more explicit and liberating than other types of sex, and men who become homosexuals this way lead a highly sexually-oriented life. This is usually the case for men who are voluntarily coming out, are active in the gay community, and are openly looking for partners. Male homosexuals who did not become homosexual as a result of seeking sexual pleasure tend to avoid revealing their homosexuality.

Many female homosexuals, on the other hand, are driven to homosexuality by a trauma that they are unable to deal with. For example, if you were sexually abused by a man as a child, the mere sight of a man can be suffocating, and the only relationship you can breathe in is with women. Or if you were neglected by your parents and bullied as a child at the same time, the scars are enormous.

When no one else cares about your wounds, you may find yourself falling in love with someone of the same sex who can easily empathize and comfort you. These are the types of female homosexuals we see most often. Women who don't have wounds and just happened to become homosexual in the process of their psychological development are the ones we don't see around as much because they don't easily expose their sexual orientation.

In the case of a man who becomes homosexual as a result of pleasure-seeking, all of his relationships and value pursuits become nothing more than a means for having sex. He has a tremendous desire for sex, which in turn leads to a tremendous amount of stress, which he is not good at handling.

A female homosexual who is driven to homosexuality by many and deep wounds naturally has to live with a tremendous number of wounds. When wounds affect women, they cause symptoms such as anxiety, obsession, irritability, depression, and dependency, so female homosexuals who have become homosexuals due to severe wounds almost certainly have these symptoms, making their lives and lives of people around them difficult.

In these cases, both male and female homosexuals become very narrow-minded because the biggest factor in their lives is sexual pleasure or psychological wounds. This leads us to think that homosexuals have problems, but it's not the homosexuality itself that's the problem, but it's the abnormal sex drive, the pursuit of sexual pleasure, and the overwhelming wounds. This can also apply to heterosexuals, but the distortions of homosexuality seem to be more pronounced since homosexuals are viewed with prejudice in society more than other people.

On the other hand, there are people who naturally become homosexual without excessive sexual pleasure-seeking or excessive wounds. These people usually live their lives without revealing their sexual orientation to the outside world, and if they happen to fall in love with someone of the same sex, they can be just as healthy and happy as their heterosexual counterparts.

It's not the homosexuality that needs to be addressed, it's the excessive pursuit of sexual pleasure and the effect of excessive wounds, which also applies to heterosexuals as it does for homosexuals. Once their psychological conditions are restored, anyone can live a healthy and happy life. Also, it is possible to change from homosexuality to heterosexuality if that is what the person wants. There are many heterosexuals who have problems mentioned above. The bottom line is that there is no need to be prejudiced against homosexuals or to have unreasonable rejection of them.

https://youtu.be/vFzUdXIdDs0?si=2fF9moYblAm0EwJi

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

9/23/2024

[Mother Therapy] How to Resolve Peacefully Without Yelling at Your Children

As your children reach middle or high school, you may be experiencing situations where your children are either silent in conversations or raise their voice at every turn. For example, when you want them to stop using their cell phone and start studying, what happens next when you yell, “You've been on your phone for hours! Turn it off and study!”? It is unlikely that your children will turn off the phone and start studying just because you yell at them.

Children may pretend that they didn't hear you and continue to look at the phone without responding, or they may grab their phone, go into the bathroom, close the door, and don't come out for a while, or they may whine, “I have already finished studying, mom, you don't even know,” but they haven't, and this makes you even angrier, and eventually, a second war starts between you and your child.

Adults or children, when they are forced to do something, people naturally tend to rebel. When you don't have autonomy and you're being controlled, you don't want to do what you were going to do in the first place. Your children may have been planning to stop looking at their phone and study, but their determination was interrupted by your pushy words.

If you ask them to turn off the phone, you've just reinforced their focus on the phone, which is why you need to make the transition by saying something else that doesn't involve the phone. For example, if you ask, “Can you help me sort the recycling?” or “Do you want a snack?”, they are more likely to put their phone down. Then, when you give them the freedom to choose, they'll make their own choices, they'll take responsibility for their choices, and they'll make progress.

So rather than ordering them to turn off their phones, try shifting their focus to something else, and then give them the freedom to choose. When you give them choices instead of commands, they're more likely to take responsibility and want to do something about it. Saying, “School is starting soon, so what plans do you have for the new semester?” can make them think of all the fun things they didn't think of, which can lead them to make their own plans and try to follow through. Giving your kids choices can be the first step toward better communication with them.

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https://youtu.be/5HMn3N23pS0?si=Um0GfXLvnIXSK0x0

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

9/20/2024

[Sex & Xes] Women who want to be loved

For a woman to be loved by a man, having sex is naturally involved, but women don't consider sex without heart to be love. In a married couple, if the wife doesn't accept her husband's sexual advances as love, she may feel unloved.

Many women want to be loved by men, but they're not in a state to be loved in a true sense. Women who are trying to fulfill an unidentified need without true love will be approached by every man as a sexual object instead of the object of love.

The truth is, women can create feelings of love on their own by activating their xes energy and delivering it to their own minds. When they know this concept accurately, they don't feel lonely and can be happy enough without receiving attention and consolation from men.

When women create their own happiness, they attract more and more men who want to give them true love. This is because men's true passion grows when they feel women's happiness staying close to their women.

Women are capable of generating love and happiness infinitely on their own. Please, think about whether you want to be a woman who wants to be loved by men, or a woman who creates love and happiness for herself and leads men to her.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

9/10/2024

[Mother Therapy] Strict vs. permissive, what's the best parenting method?

How do you parent your children? Are you strict in a coercive way? It's been said that strict and coercive parenting can have a negative impact on children because it stifles their autonomy and limits their expression, so some people believe that allowing children to do whatever they want can enhance their creativity and create a close relationship between parents and children, like a close friend. But is that really true?

Especially nowadays, when children are so precious and family life is so child-centered, many parents give in to their children's demands. But giving in to everything unconditionally can lead to other problems.

For example, if you allow your child to do whatever they want, they may not learn to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions, which can make it harder for them to be responsible later in life. People feel safer when they have certain rules and limits. Kids are no different. Having consistent rules makes things predictable, which reduces stress and anxiety about uncertainty, which makes them feel more secure and helps them grow up right.

Also, unconditional permission from parents can be confusing for children. For example, if a child wants to play video games all day and you give them full permission to do so, this can lead to problems with schoolwork and relationships with friends and teachers. The child may not understand what they've done wrong, which can lead to confusion.

The truth is, children need their parents' attention and guidance. If parents don't take any interest in their child's life, or don't know much about what they're doing, they may feel unimportant. This can have a negative impact on their sense of being, and even cause a rift in their relationship with their parents.

There are certain things that are important to remember when raising children, and one of them is balance: you need to be neither too strict nor too permissive. It's important to set rules for children and let them experience the positive consequences of following them. At the same time, parents can maintain a good relationship with their children and grow together if they listen to them, understand their feelings, and give them advice when necessary.

Ultimately, our children need to grow up to be adults who can take responsibility for their actions and behave appropriately in society, which requires following rules, discipline, and parental attention and guidance.

https://youtu.be/a2A2JL9e3Vg?si=jbvW-IYKEkOhngYa

https://youtu.be/AzTmlsCw-38?si=tFasjHwGezUTyptz

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

[Sex & Xes] The concept of sexual function

Today we're going to talk about sexual function as a result of the workings of xesmind. Many people think of sexual function only in terms of the physical function, but it's a misconception that sexual function and sexual dysfunction are solely a matter of the body. Sexual function can never be discussed in isolation from the mind.

In order to perceive any information from the outside and become conscious of it, the five sensory organs of the body must work, and when we think, we must retrieve memories from the brain, update new information, and store it in the brain. And when the mind wants to express the results of the mind's work to the outside, it can only be expressed through the body, whether it is a facial expression, a gesture, an action, or a word.

In this way, the process of processing information in the mind is done through the three psychological processes of perception, memory, and expression, and if we are processing information about sex, the xes psychology of perceiving sexuality, remembering sexuality, and expressing sexuality comes into play. And the work of the xes psychology is manifested as sexual function through the body used to perceive sexuality, the body used to remember and think about sexuality, and the body used to express sexuality through words, actions, and facial expressions.

If sexuality should be recognized and felt through the sensory organs, but it is not recognized well enough, it is considered as sexual dysfunction, and if you have to think about something by bringing up the memory of sexuality and it does not work well, or if you think about something sexually that is not common due to distorted sexual memory, it can also be a sexual dysfunction. And it goes without saying that if you can't express your sexuality in words, actions, and facial expressions as well as you need to when you need to, it's sexual dysfunction. In this case, not only too little, that is, not working well, is sexual dysfunction, but too much, or more than necessary, is also sexual dysfunction.

Fundamentally, if you want to recover from sexual dysfunction and have full control at the right time and in the right place, you have to have a clear concept of sexual function and treat sexual dysfunction from the perspective of mind and psychology. But the current approach to sexual dysfunction focuses on mostly physical aspects, and that means taking certain foods, taking pills and supplements, getting surgeries or even training sexual organs. This is one of the most common and most grossly distorted errors we face in sexual problems.

A physical approach to sexual dysfunction is not a cure-all, so the problem will either return, or one problem will be solved and another will arise. It's important to keep in mind that the more you try to do something to fix your sexual dysfunction to the exclusion of your mind and psychology, the more you're going to aggravate not only your sexual function but also your psychological condition.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

9/04/2024

[Mother Therapy] How to ease conversations

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and had it turn awkward? Whether it's with a friend, family member, or coworker, we've all had the experience of having a conversation with someone and having it turn awkward. Let's take the example of a conversation between a mother and her teenage daughter.

The topic of conversation was plans for the future, and the daughter was talking passionately about the direction she was thinking about taking, and the mother was listening and sharing some of her own thoughts. Sensing that things were getting awkward, the mother asked her daughter what was wrong, and she said, “Mom, I just wanted to talk to you about this and that, but you took it so seriously that I don't know if I should say more.”

So the mother said, “Was I too serious? Maybe I was thinking and talking only from my own perspective. Maybe you were uncomfortable.” They checked on each other's thoughts and feelings in the moment, and the mother explained the situation to her so she could understand, and then they were able to clear up the misunderstanding and get back to talking.

When we have conversations, we tend to think and express ourselves more from our own perspective than our partner's, but conversations are not just about exchanging words, so it's important to try to understand where the other person is coming from and what they're expecting. For example, when a close friend confides in you about a problem, she might not want your advice, but just want to be listened to and empathized with, and if you give her advice, the conversation won't go anywhere.

It's good to keep these two things in mind when you're having a conversation: one, be clear about what you really want to communicate and think about how you're going to express it, and two, try to understand where the other person is coming from when they're having this conversation.

Conversation is an important tool for us to communicate, understand, and develop relationships with others, but sometimes things get awkward or we say things that can be hurtful, and conversations don't always go smoothly, but we can learn from these experiences to do better and understand the other person more deeply.

Conflict in conversations, especially in intimate relationships, can lead to other difficulties, so remember and apply these tips the next time you have a conversation with someone close to you, and you'll have a richer conversation and a closer relationship.

https://youtu.be/qazyWzdFwnk?si=0QBYhoSDR7BBXee7

https://youtu.be/FFh0dpDJ5yU?si=kyGLuXuawKHy9OQl

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

9/02/2024

[Sex & Xes] Women’s sex ability vs. sex techniques

When people think of sex ability, they usually think of sex skills and techniques, but a woman's true sex ability has nothing to do with her sex techniques. Sex ability is the ability of xesmind to operate xes energy to get the body and mind in the best possible state, while sex techniques are fragmentary abilities that only comes into play during the sexual action. Putting it this way, men might think that a woman with good sex techniques would be better than a woman with sex ability, but a woman with sex ability will automatically have sex techniques as she maximizes her emotions to help men create passion.

For a woman to build the greatest sex ability, she must first have a healthy mind and body. For sex ability to translate into sex skills, the body must first have good sexual function, and women's sexual function improves as their sexual sensations develop. To develop sexual sensations, you need to have a lot of information about sex. Women only take in the sexual information that is in their sexual habits, so the more sexual information they have, the more they can perceive with their sensory organs, which leads to the development of sexual sensations.

In this process of accumulating sexual information and improving sexual function, direct sexual action, or having sex, is not important. When women accumulate information about sex in a healthy state of mind and body, they will unconditionally improve their sexual function and performance. In this state of good sexual function and sex ability, it is up to the individual to decide whether or not to adopt certain sex techniques and skills in sexual actions.

Especially in women, the work of xesmind and the wounds in mimind are closely related, so if a woman has the ability to recover from her own wounds, her sex ability will be the best. This means that the work of xesmind is active enough to repair any wound in mimind by itself. If sex techniques are added to this, the happiness felt through having sex will also increase. However, if a woman has sex only for the pleasure of sex without true sex ability, the emotions that create happiness will not function, so the mind will collapse and only the body's sexual function will improve, and she may become to live for sex.

If a woman has sex skills in addition to sex ability, she doesn't have to seek the pleasure of sex, because the pleasure of sex takes only a small part in her happiness, especially when she is with someone she loves. So instead of chasing after sex, she just has to be ready to have sex whenever she needs it to create her happiness.

Women who have true sex ability don't consider having sex to be important and they don't have a strong sex drive, but they're at their best when they have sex because they're ready to have sex at any time. Men who have sex with these women can't even think about having sex with another woman.

When xes psychology is in play, using xes energy without associating it with having sex removes the desire for sex. However, when xes energy is used for having sex, or in an other-centered way instead of a self-centered way, the healing is delayed because less energy is available to transform the wound into happiness. This is because a woman's libido works in tandem with her mimind as it works to treat her wounds.

So if a woman wants to have the best sex skills, she has to build sex ability first, and to build sex ability, she has to build the ability to turn wounds into happiness on her own. Thus, sex ability and sex skills are two different things. Of course, a woman with sex ability is able to maximize her xes energy through sex, which makes her much more pleased and happier than a woman who is just chasing pleasure without true sex ability.

On the other hand, women with no sex ability and only with sex skills are likely to chase pleasure, which leads them to seek out men with sex skills, but all they end up with are men with no sex ability and only with sexual dysfunction. This is often the case with people who verbally brag about their sexual prowess.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

8/26/2024

[Mother Therapy] A woman before you were a mother

You know what? Mothers were women before they were mothers. So, knowing what constitutes a woman's happiness can help you a lot with whatever emotional or psychological challenges you're having right now. As we all know, people are divided into men and women. Not only do men and women look different, but they also have major differences in how they seek happiness.

First of all, men mainly pursue future happiness, so they set goals, work hard to achieve them, and feel positive and energized in the process. Hope and anticipation for the future is an important factor in happiness for men. For example, if your husband has had a tough day at work, he might enjoy a beer at home to unwind and find the energy to get back to work tomorrow. It's his future-oriented pursuit of happiness.

Women, on the other hand, are more concerned with present happiness, and transforming negative emotions into positive ones through the emotion of love is an important source of life energy for them. This doesn't mean that women don't think about the future at all, it's just that it's harder to think about the future if they are not happy in the present. The process of healing psychological wounds and turning them into positive emotions is what makes a woman happy. So in a marriage, the woman feels happy through the love of her husband as a man, and as a wife, she feels happy through giving love to her husband, and as a mother, she feels happy through giving love to her child.

After all, a mother is a woman before she is a mother. Understanding and respecting a woman's happiness will help you understand and address emotional difficulties or psychological issues a mother may be experiencing.

https://youtu.be/Pqcr_OkdTCg?si=fR1mh3rfzy6k4e69

https://youtu.be/VyS0xuihZ9M?si=gFXjIpn1h8rL_3nl

Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net

8/21/2024

[Sex & Xes] Is sex about pleasure or love?

When we discuss sex, it's often a binary pro/con debate in terms of pleasure and love, but it shouldn't be a binary of which is right and which is wrong. When we think of sex in terms of love, we generally have a lot of positive feelings, but when we think of sex in terms of pleasure, we have more negative feelings. We might ask if pleasure is bad, because pleasure is a strong positive feeling, so why do we have negative feelings about sexual pleasure?

This is because pleasure and love work differently in the mind: pleasure is the maximization of the sensations felt in your own sensory organs, and it's only for yourself. Love, on the other hand, is the work of the human mind in the company of another human being. That's why pleasure itself isn't bad, but it can destroy relationships and cause harm to others, because when you pursue only your own pleasure, you don't care about others at all. Sex, in particular, is an act of intense pleasure. If you start to think of the other person as a means to an end, with the sole purpose of your own sexual pleasure, it will destroy both your own psychology and that of others.

So what about the idea that sex is love"? Technically, sex is not love, but sex is a natural accompaniment to a romantic human relationship. Sex serves to strengthen the passion of a man and the love of a woman. Sex is an accompaniment to love, but sex cannot be love. If sex is love, then it must follow that if there is no sex, there is no love.

So we shouldn't look at sex from a binary perspective, debating whether it's love or pleasure. The correct definition of sex is a sexual act and nothing more. We use sex as a means for living happily as human beings with love and passion. The energy created through sex enhances love, passion, and happiness.

It's worth noting that when we don't know exactly how sex gives us pleasure, how it strengthens passion and love, and what the purpose of sex is, our values about sex become muddled, leading to distorted ideas and conflicts in human relationships.

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

8/19/2024

[Mother Therapy] Finding healthy ways of healing stress is essential.

Many people are concerned about their mental health as well as their physical health. If you look at a typical day, one-third of it is used for sleeping and two-thirds is used for working or doing various activities. When you are working or doing different activities, sometimes you are alone, but more often you are with other people, and when you are with other people, you are more likely to have a conscious relationship with them, and when you have a conscious relationship, you naturally tend to suppress your unconscious expressions, and you use more of your conscious expressions, and that's when you get tired. You're thinking more consciously than unconsciously, and you're thinking a lot, and you're stressed.

Most people who have worked hard for the day want to go home and relax, or have a drink at a comfortable place, or meet up with their close friends, to relieve the stress of their conscious relationships. It's great for our mental health to have our own ways of dealing with stress, but what happens when we don't do it in a timely manner? Stress can accumulate and cause physical and psychological problems, or it can lead to interpersonal conflicts as you unconsciously express stress when you're with people you love and are close to.

Important tasks, demanding jobs, and situations with strict hierarchies require rational control and a lot of thinking, which takes up a lot of mental energy and contributes to even more stress. You can excel at your job, but if you don't have your own healthy stress-relief methods, you may find that your relationships suffer because you may freely express your negative emotions inappropriately in intimate, unconscious relationships.

Additionally, if you're constantly dragging your feet about the stresses of your job, you're increasing chances of developing psychological problems. No one is immune to stress, so it's important to create your own healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress as it happens instead of holding on to it. Stress doesn't go away by avoiding it, so it's important to create your own ways to address it.

Stress relief can be done in a variety of ways, including exercise, hobbies, or talking to someone you find comfortable with. By regularly and healthily relieving stress, you'll prevent unconscious stress outbursts, which in turn will help you maintain healthy relationships and improve your physical health. If you don't have a personal favorite relaxation method, take the opportunity to create one or more, and if you already have some, maintain them and create some more different ones so that you have a variety.

https://youtu.be/W9AyXnPx0mw?si=-uwi6X_3k1EMSDyU