[Sex & Xes] If you want to get the best woman

 

Men aren't actually interested in women with good hearts. They usually like women who have a pretty pretty, have a good body, and are sexually capable. Women who only have these things are great for a momentary fling, but they're not what men want to be in a relationship with. They want to be with women who have all of the above, plus feelings of love.

In other words, they want a woman who is not only pretty and sexy, but also a woman who will be loving and caring to her husband and children, and of course, there are women who are both pretty and sexy and have feelings of love. In order to get such a great woman, a man must have the ability to protect her. There are men who only want women for their looks and sexual prowess, not their feelings of love. Once a woman is taken by such a manipulator, she loses the ability of love. Therefore, a man must have the ability to protect his woman from such a womanizer.

And men shouldn't go around looking for women, because if they do, they have already become one of the womanizers. A man should be able to protect a woman and wait for a woman. When a man is ready and able to wait, the woman he wants will come to him. And when he lives with that goal in mind, he will be passionate about pursuing his values, and do his best in whatever he does.

But if a man can't wait and starts looking for a woman, he won't be able to meet such a great woman. Such a woman won't come to a man who is looking for a woman because she has healthy mind. In fact, a woman should go looking for a man who can protect her.

A woman who has good appearance without having feelings of love is not the kind of woman a man would want to protect as his woman. If a man falls for a woman like that, he's only looking for a sexual relationship, not love, and that makes him sexually dysfunctional, and when you're sexually dysfunctional, you lose the ability to protect your woman, so a man should never go around looking for women.

When a man builds true sex ability, fulfills his values, and wants to protect a woman's love, a woman who has it all will find him. The most important thing for a man to do to get the woman he wants is to have the ability to protect her.

                                 https://youtu.be/jPzAwGQ6mBI?si=amcNd_QkEmPquB2k

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Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Focus on women's sexuality, not feminism

 

Today's feminism tends to be extreme. Whereas early feminism cried out, “Women are capable of taking responsibility, so give them the rights they deserve,” it has been distorted into, “Women are not responsible for anything. Just recognize our rights already!”

The idea that “women can't take responsibility” is actually the male chauvinistic view of early feminism. The current distortion of feminism is the result of that resentment bubbling up like pus. In other words, distorted feminism comes from women's wounds, and by pouring all of life's wounds into feminism, distorted feminism has ended up with a group of wounds that are nothing like the original feminism. It means that they connect every hurt they receive from men to sexism or sexual inequality.

It's a very codependent way of life, and while it talks about women being independent and rebelling against the system, it's deeply rooted in male chauvinistic ideas. A truly independent woman does not associate her life with, nor is she influenced by, male supremacist ideas; even if she lives within a male supremacist system, she is empowered to transcend it. On the other hand, the very act of resisting chauvinistic ideas means that you are already positioning your dignity as a subordinate concept within those ideas.

The problem with male chauvinistic ideas and distorted feminism is that they distort the intrinsic roles in sexuality. In the intrinsic roles in sexuality, women are the active agents of sexuality, and men play a supporting role in sexuality, protecting and aligning themselves with women. Humans activate their sexuality to create passion and happiness in their hearts, and while women are capable of generating inexhaustible xes energy on their own, men are only capable of generating limited and weak xes energy, so men can only create greater passion and happiness by being fed with the xes energy that women generate.

In the essential gender role, men keep women safe and secure and cater everything to her so that she can generate xes energy to her heart's content. In distorted gender roles, men become the main agents of sexuality themselves and focus on exploiting women's sexual energy, not protecting and supporting women. This is the result of distorted gender roles and the root of male chauvinism.

In the past, this exploitation of women's sexual energy was supported by a social system that ignored women's potential and kept them in the home and denied their rights. This was changed by early feminism, and women now have many opportunities. However, to take it a step further, the reason why women cannot have both responsibilities and rights on an equal basis with men is because women themselves don't know who they are as sexual agents and keep trying to play the role of sexual support to men. This is no longer an issue of ideas like male chauvinism or feminism, but of distorted gender roles.

Women who become true sexual agents and generate and supply their own xes energy in all situations and circumstances will naturally be protected and supported by men. This is because instinctively, men need women's xes energy to create passion and happiness. Women need to be self-aware and unwavering in their sexuality, so that men who try to discriminate or exploit them will be culled from the group by men who want to protect them.

No matter how powerful a woman is as a generator of xes energy, if she doesn't recognize herself as the main agent in sexuality, her xes energy will only be exploited by men. From the perspective of a man living with distorted gender roles, a woman needs to be locked up for a specific reason and made to provide sexual energy only to him. This is because if she were to provide sexual energy to other men, he would find himself outcompeted by men who are more passionate than him.

The current distorted version of feminism is a strong argument for women to be recognized as objects of sexual exploitation. No one can understand true feminism if they exclude the idea of intrinsic roles in sexuality. Men and women who live in accordance with their intrinsic gender roles live in a world that transcends male chauvinism and feminism. It's a world where women, as well as men, enjoy the most powerful passion, happiness, and pleasure. We need to focus on women's intrinsic role in sexuality, not on feminism, and transform ourselves so that both men and women can fulfill their intrinsic gender roles.

                           https://youtu.be/aKieRX1n8kA?si=UqLA7hQUEkp6phCr

                About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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[Sex & Xes] How sexuality shapes the mind

 

Today, we're going to talk about the process of sexuality affecting the mind and the caveats that come with it. Xesmind works within your own mind, energizing only your own mind. It also affects the psychological operation of the mind, and it's important to remember that xesmind, mind, and psychology all belong to you.

Xesmind is designed to help the mind pursue happiness on its own by energizing it. It's supposed to create love and passion and heal wounds, but in today's society, where the concept of sexuality has become so distorted, it's easy to let your xesmind take over your mind and be directed toward other people. Especially for women, their xesmind should be working for their own happiness, but most of them direct their xesmind toward others because they want to look good to other people, because others want their sexuality, because they want to please others, and so on. Or they combine sexuality with social ideas or systems, and they end up having a negative perception of sexuality and even feel guilty about enjoying sex, or they do the opposite and have sex for pleasure that is recognized in the conscious mind, causing all kinds of problems.

But when all the sexual energy that should be feeding your own mind is directed toward the other person, your mind can't be healthy. You won't have the self-esteem you need, and you won't have the energy to repair stress and wounds on your own, resulting in frequent psychological problems and psychological disorders.

Humans are supposed to pursue happiness and live in self-actualization activating the conscious and unconscious mind, and xesmind works to support this process. However, as  xesmind gradually becomes more and more directed toward other people, the operation of mind and psychology are no longer centered on the mind, but on the xesmind, and mind, xesmind, and psychology become all entangled. As a result, mind continues to create wounds in relationships, and sexual desire keeps arising to repair these wounds to no avail. Sexual desire is generated as xesmind works to restore one's own mind, but no matter how much  xesmind works, psychology is bound to be ruined since it is directed toward others or outside.

When a man or a woman develops a psychological disorder, their sexuality is overly expressed and their sexual desire is intensified. When you have sex in this state, you can't help but feel a very powerful pleasure unlike anything you've ever felt before, because your mind is no longer in control. Needless to say, there's no need for human happiness anymore because you're living as if the pleasure of your sensory organs is the most important thing and you're mistaking pleasure for happiness.

There are exceptions. Depression in women and neurosis in men are also psychological disorders, but in the case of depression and neurosis, mind blocks out everything about sexuality, so instead of having a sexual desire, you become extremely resistant to having sex. When this happens, you can't even think about recovery or happiness because your xesmind can't energize your mind.

                            https://youtu.be/MKdcpe7NWD4?si=NL3wi9AmQIb6-XzY

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[Sex & Xes] The way you think about sexuality is the rudder of your life.

 

Today we're going to talk about the connection between your perception of sexuality and your life. Many of you might be thinking, “What big impact does sex have on your life?” And you might be thinking, “Well, maybe marriage and childbirth, or disease, or crime, or something else that's a big deal should have a greater impact,” but actually your perception of sexuality is the rudder that steers your life. Sexuality may be nothing, but it can also be everything.

We often say, “It's all in the mind,” and this is true. No matter what kind of environment we are in, our happiness or unhappiness is determined by how we perceive it and how our mind works. But it is the xesmind working within the mind that creates this mind. Although it is not recognized by the consciousness, it is responsible for healing stress and treating wounds by supplying energy to the mind, or, on the contrary, worsening wounds and stress. Therefore, the body and mind can be healthy due to the work of the xesmind, or, on the contrary, the body and mind can be destroyed by the xesmind.

Most importantly, most people associate xesmind with sexual actions. However, sexual actions are merely a manifestation of the xesmind's work on the mind. Also, the work of the xesmind and the mind changes depending on what perceptions and ideas we have about sexual actions. In fact, the xesmind is just a constant source of energy, and it's the mind's job to use that energy in ways that either promote happiness or unhappiness.

For example, sexual actions may be perceived as being very negative for someone. They've formed memories that make sexual actions uncomfortable, annoying, painful, or frustrating. For others, it's perceived as being very positive. It's enjoyable, fun, loving, and pleasurable. Sexual actions can be all of life's highs and lows, but the problem is that stereotypes are often applied only in one direction. Sexual actions are a double-edged sword that can be very painful and unhappy for some, or healing and revitalizing for others.

When a distorted perception of sexuality takes hold, sexual actions can become extremely pleasure-oriented, or the opposite, extremely aversive. This is because the emotions generated in the mind by the distorted concept of sexuality are set up that way. In such a case, psychological disorders are caused by the energy of the xesmind being supplied to the mind for pursuing excessive pleasure or for excessive nurturing of wounds.

When we think of sexuality, we usually think of it in an eroticized way, as a sexual act between a man and a woman. But sexual action is the result of the workings of the xesmind and mind, and it is not just about pleasure or love. If you have the right perception of sexuality and understand how it works in essence, you can use it as a rudder to help you heal your stresses and treat your wounds and live happily ever after.

Having sex itself is just a sexual action that pleases your sensory organs and generates temporary positive moods that you can turn around and forget no matter how many fancy techniques you know and apply. When you know how human mind and sexuality work behind the scenes, you can use sexual actions appropriately to make your mind and psychology healthy and happy, and live the life you want.

                                 https://youtu.be/1wyStB9ivSM?si=Z91xpgHX0Roh77YN

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[Sex & Xes] Is a complete life impossible? (Complete love and success through sex training)

 

The reason we think our lives are not perfect is because they are not in our control completely. To put it another way, if we could control our lives, our life would be perfect. The two most important things in our lives are love and success. A human being who is able to love enough and achieve enough will feel they have a perfect life, where there is nothing lacking.

However, even if we marry for the sake of perfect love, it soon withers away, and even if we achieve the material values that others envy, we feel it is not enough. In other words, we live an ironic life where the more we love and succeed, the more we feel lacking. Many people analyze this by connecting it to dopamine, and others by connecting it to religion, psychology, and philosophy, but I would argue that it's due to the intrinsic nature of human sexuality.

We have an instinct before we have a mind to navigate the world, and sexuality is an instinct. Sexuality creates the energy that fuels the mind, which is called xes energy. The energy generated by sexual action can become positive energy for restoration and creation, but when it is combined with relationships, purposes, and emotions in the mind, it changes to negative energy. However, we don't know that xes energy is working on us because we don't feel it directly in our consciousness.

The problem is that negative energy, created by the combination of our feelings for relationships or purpose and sexuality, is an energy that is wasteful. This negative energy burns our own bodies and minds to create love and passion, so the more we love and achieve with negative energy, the more we feel a deficit created by something that has been burned away. We feel satisfied only in the moment when we are immersed in the good feeling of love and passion, and when that moment is gone, we feel an even greater deficit, and our desire grows stronger.

However, love and success can be achieved only in relationships, so if we don't know the mechanisms and methods of converting this negative energy into positive energy in relationships, we cannot but live with endless needs. In other words, if we know how to convert negative energy into positive energy, we can live a full life, with enough love and success, without deficiency.

To do this, we need to train ourselves to understand exactly what the nature of sexuality is and how to change ourselves accordingly. Instincts cannot be overridden, but the mind that allows them to work in order can be changed by training our thoughts and habits.

This is how a man who shifts to a life that generates positive xes energy rises to the top of the pecking order over a man with the greatest success that comes from negative xes energy. And a woman who shifts to a life that generates positive xes energy can live a life filled with love and happiness, no matter who she is with. Men and women who generate positive xes energy have no deficit.

You've often heard the saying, “If you envy, you lose,” meaning that lack and want make you feel inferior and prevent you from feeling complete. No matter how much you try to change this by adopting philosophy, medicine, or religion, the harder you try, the more your needs will only grow, because none of them teaches you a way to shift the workings of your xes energy to a positive one.

Of course, when you let go of everything, feelings of deficiency and inferiority disappear. Such a life may be a comfortable life, but it will not be a complete life, because love and passion will also disappear if you put everything down. On the other hand, a life lived by converting negative energy into positive energy will definitely give you fulfillment in love and success in healthy ways, which will allow you to live a perfect life.

                              https://youtu.be/qfD1vLsmFaw?si=GU3joUo4gSF7tkPl

                 About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Why both mind and sexuality are so distorted today

 

We all have mind, and we all have psychology that works connecting the mind and the body. Psychology is composed of three parts: perception, which recognizes information from the outside world; memory, which stores and retrieves the perceived information; and expression, which expresses the results of the mind's work back to the outside world. The human mind takes in external information and expresses internal thoughts and emotions to the outside world through psychological processes. Why? Because we live in relationships with other people. The human mind is necessary for connecting with others.

Meanwhile, within the human mind is xesmind. It energizes our minds and bodies. Xesmind also has xes psychology that recognizes sexuality, remembers sexuality, and expresses sexuality, but surprisingly, it has nothing to do with human relationships. Xesmind works solely to energize our own mind and body. Mind exists to be with others, but xesmind and xes psychology exist solely for the sake of the individuals’ mind.

In a human relationship, our mind interacts with the other person's mind, and our xesmind energizes our mind. Xesmind is not supposed to be directed at the other person, and the workings of xesmind and xes psychology are not even recognized in the consciousness: everything you feel when you have sex is felt in the mind.

But today, this structure is perceived to be completely reversed. The mind is centered on what I feel, what is for me, what pleases me, and it is centered on satisfying individuals’ feelings rather than its role in relationships. Of course, it's true that my mind works for me, and all relationships start with me, but we are human beings living together, and when mind works only for ourselves, we can no longer move toward shared happiness.

There's a more serious problem. The workings of sexuality, which should be yours alone, are directed towards the other person. Everyone who discusses the psychology of sexuality analyzes it putting meanings in relation to the mind. Having sex is just a sexual action that is the result of the working of mind and xesmind. There is no meaning in the sexual action itself, and having sex should be used solely as a means of energizing one's own mind.

What happens when your xesmind is directed toward the other person, rather than toward your own mind? Most commonly, we interpret having sex in relation with love and pleasure. We want to look good to the partner, we become possessive or use the partner for our own pleasure, we want to fit in, or we learn sex techniques to show off and please the partner.

In modern society, these distorted notions are so thoroughly instilled in us from early childhood sex education that our minds are molded in this direction. The problem with current sex education is that it mostly focuses on having sex and issues related with it. With such a deeply ingrained distortion, how can we possibly have a proper perception of human mind and sexuality?

If we can at least get to the bottom of it, then we can at least strive to pursue the right standards, and we can give the next generation the right mindset from the early age. The education program exists to guide you to accurately understand the nature of human sexuality, if you are willing to change.

When your mind and xesmind are operating in a distorted way, it's only natural that your psychology will break down. Today, psychological problems are so common and many people live with neuroses, depression, and addictions and don't even realize they have them. It's important to learn what it takes to keep your mind and psychology healthy, and what is causing us to live in such a sick and troubled society.

                              https://youtu.be/_av4AzSNyIg?si=EnTBL1do2vJzrooe

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Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] Sexual prowess is not created by practicing sex techniques.

 

One of the stereotypes we all have is that “sex skills are built by practicing sex techniques.” But this comes from the idea that sex is an obviously limited act that is solely about the senses, mostly the sense of touch. Both men and women think of sex as being focused on the outcome of orgasm and ejaculation, and that's all that matters.

But this idea comes from a strictly masculine view of sex. Men take less time to orgasm than women and have more localized erogenous zones than women, so they don't really understand women's sex. Even women don't understand women's sex. If women understood what female-oriented sex is, both women and men would be able to enjoy much greater sexual pleasure than they currently do.

It's not your fault that you don't know what women-centered sex is. The problem is that there's no one to tell you what women-centered sex is, and that's because most people don't know how the male and female minds work and how the xesmind works. Women perceive sex as being more related with the mind than just a physical act, amplifying everything they perceive through their sensory organs into emotion, and feeling as much pleasure and orgasm as the amplified emotion, so it's not really where or how you stimulate them that matters, but all the moods and feelings of love that lead up to sex. In other words, the process of having sex is very important, rather than the outcome of orgasm and ejaculation.

In fact, women often find that even if they don't reach orgasm during sex, they get enough satisfaction from the things their partner says to them, the way he looks at them, and the way he ejaculates. It's about knowing in their hearts that their partner is incredibly passionate about them, which makes their own sexual arousal fulfilled. That's why women really dislike sex that's just about penetration and ejaculation. Women have a completely different perception of sex than men do.

In order for sex to be female-centered, and for women to achieve pleasure and orgasm in sex, you have to know how the female mind works. Sexual empowerment is not about sex techniques, it's about knowing how the female mind and male mind work. A woman's sex ability is knowing how to fully pleasure herself in sex, and knowing how to enlist the help of her partner to do so.

When a woman's sex ability is created so that she is able to achieve endless climaxes in sex, not only the woman but also the man feels a fullness that he has never felt before. This is because men become more aroused and judge the perfection of the sex by watching women's sexual response.

Women have the ability to amplify perceived information into emotion, so if you can understand a woman's emotions, you can bring her to orgasm without penetration. Unfortunately, neither women nor men know this concept, so men have to take the lead with the little knowledge they have, which leads to sex becoming male-dominated and limiting pleasure.

Always keep in mind that it's the heart that feels the pleasure of sex. The passion of a man and the love of a woman make sex more meaningful, enjoyable, and blissful. Sex without passion and love, just to make your sensory organs feel good, is no different from masturbation. To build sexual prowess, it is very important to learn how human mind works, not the technique.

                              https://youtu.be/l_5sIN6Zg1s?si=KIsUkILoRlJ6vfoO 

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Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

[Sex & Xes] The concept of sexual memory

 

When the mind processes information about sexuality, the body's functions work together to recognize sexuality, remember sexuality, and express sexuality. In this video, we'll talk about sexual memory, where we store and retrieve information about sex and become aware of it.

The mind is composed of conscious and unconscious parts. First, the unconscious works so that we can feel and be aware of it as consciousness, and then the mind-body interaction of perception, memory, and expression is controlled by the unconscious, and then the conscious becomes aware of it and feels it.

When we perceive external information, all five sensory organs are controlled by the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind takes it all in before the conscious mind feels it, but it selectively filters and decides what to remember and what to bring to conscious awareness. The filtering is done by the “habits” in the unconscious mind. The habits in the unconscious mind also interact with the external information and the stored information in the memory to determine whether it is sexual or general information, and then bring it to conscious awareness. This is why each person perceives the same thing differently depending on how the habits in the unconscious mind have been formed.

In the process of recognizing and remembering sex, the unconscious mind works to store the perceived information in memory and retrieve it again from memory, reinforcing or changing what is already stored. As with all psychology, the workings of the habits in the unconscious mind are paramount when it comes to psychology of memory. When it comes to processing and recognizing information about sex, the habituated unconscious forms one’s values, perceptions, and ideas about sex. That is, we have unconscious habits that cause us to think about sex in a certain way when we consciously think about it.

Strictly speaking, it's not something external that comes in and makes you feel it, but rather, it's the information stored in the memory that is retrieved and recognized, which is triggered by the perceived external information. When something is recognized that does not fit with what is stored in the memory from the past experiences, the unconscious mind tries to understand it and readjusts the memory accommodating the new information. The unconscious habits can be changed by adding knowledge, experiences, thoughts, and external expressions. Therefore, even if distorted values and ideas have been formed by the distorted information so far, it is possible to change the stored information and form correct thinking habits by updating the memory by adding accurate information about values and ideas of sexuality in the future.

                          https://youtu.be/bd2Rd8LBMyA?si=rlKfXZtGBUvk_QoU

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[SATW] All human happiness and unhappiness originate from sexuality.

 

All women are born with true sex ability and true sexual charm, but not many women know that they have sex ability. The conventional concepts of sexuality available for education and information women are exposed to for the whole lifetime are seriously distorted. No one tells them how human sexuality is supposed to operate and how the operation of sexuality affects human body and mind.

     The Theory of Mimind and the Theory of Xesmind that attempt to explain the operational mechanism of men's and women's mimind and xesmind postulate that human sexuality is supposed to operate with women at the center instead of men. However, problems cannot but continue to occur throughout history since distorted concepts of sexuality that put men instead of women at the center and prioritize having sex as a core component of sexuality prevail all around the world.

     Xesmind generates mimind, and mimind activates psychological operations. Humans live in a society forming relationships with other people. When individuals' sexuality or the operation of xesmind, which is the basis of all human relationships, is distorted, their mind collapses, psychology is damaged, and not only individuals but also the whole society suffer from all kinds of problems due to distorted and ruined relationships. At the center of all these problems exist women with true sex ability as major agents of restoration of happiness of individuals and the society.

     When women understand the true nature of human sexuality and restore true sex ability through Sex Ability Training for Women, they can build wound treatment ability and happiness ability as well as powerful sex ability in a true sense. They can live a happy life as women who have the best charm and as major agents who generate happiness and sexual happiness, making all the relationships related with them healthy and happy. Only women can have this ability.

                           https://youtu.be/Nb2kHLsn1TE?si=HV2RyHtizx2qIxOO

                  About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

 

[Sex & Xes] The Concept of Sexual Expression

 

Today, we're going to talk about “sexual expression” in the context of xes psychology. Sexual problems that arise in human relationships that directly affect others are caused by the expression of sexuality.

Of course, before there is a sexual expression that can cause sexual problems, distorted values and ideas are formed from perceiving and remembering sexuality, but even if you have distorted values and ideas, they will not directly cause damage or affect others if you only have them as thoughts without expressing them.

We first perceive some information from the outside world. Our unconscious mind works with our memories to determine whether or not the perceived information is about sex, and then moves to bring it into our conscious awareness, creating moods and feelings such as joy, anger, pleasure or sorrow around the perceived information.

The problem is that when this unconscious mind is at work, the expression is always at work as well, and since over 90% of our expressions are unconscious, we may not be aware of them at all, or if we are aware of them, it's only after we've already expressed them that we recognize them again, and we're aware of what we've expressed.

What we express is what we say verbally, what we do with our hands, feet, and other gestures, and the expressions on our faces. And then there are thoughts, which are internal expressions that don't show up externally. The thoughts that we have and the facial expressions and gestures that we make on purpose are conscious and intentional expressions that we're aware of, but they're actually less than 10% of our total expression. To make the 10% of conscious expression, there's 90% of unconscious expression that goes on.

The same is true for sexual expression. Sexual words, sexual facial expressions, and all other sexual behaviors are all sexual expressions, and the problem is that less than 10% of our sexual expressions are conscious and intentional, and the other 90% are unconscious, which is why they are so dangerous. That's why sex education is so problematic, because you can only consciously control less than 10% of the sexual information that you receive through knowledge education. Control over sexual expression must be made 10% consciously and 90% unconsciously, which justifies the argument that the power of control must be formed in the unconscious habits.

We don't casually touch the body of the opposite sex in general relationships. Is this really conscious control? The knowledge and experiences that we have lived through create habits in our unconscious minds, and they are controlled before we become conscious of them. However, some people, regardless of whether they are male or female, casually touch the body of the opposite sex, and we can think that they lack knowledge and experience.

When wounds and stress are operating powerfully in the unconscious mind, sexuality is often activated to repair those wounds and stress. Sexual attention, comfort, and sexual expression are much more powerful than normal processing of information, so women who are overwhelmingly hurt think they're creating love and happiness through sexual expression, and men who are overwhelmingly stressed think they're creating stress relief and passion through sexual pleasure. All of this is unconscious, not conscious, and the problem is that when they happen in relationships, they affect other people.

The unconscious is the part of sexual expression that we shouldn't miss. It's important to keep in mind that the only way we can have healthy control over our sexual expression is that we develop the right values and perceptions about sex as unconscious habits.

                             https://youtu.be/zH2DxnMWfwU?si=kGL8gFk8D4Vo7Aou

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Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

 

[Sex & Xes] Differences in perceptions of sexual dysfunction between men and women

 

Men and women have very different perceptions of sexual dysfunction. First, men develop sexual dysfunction when they have too much information about sex or have many experiences of having sex. When a man's xesmind processes sexual information, xes wounds grow little by little in their xesmind. As these wounds accumulate, they have a negative effect on the body and mind, but it is recognized as pleasure in the conscious.

In addition, because xes wounds that cause sexual dysfunction are not recognized and not sensed, sexual dysfunction is often thought of as a physical problem by men. Therefore, when men experience sexual dysfunction, they try to treat the body to restore sexual function. However, for women, sexual dysfunction occurs when the mind is very healthy or, conversely, when the wounds in mind become much larger than normal women.

A woman's xesmind works when she is trying to repair wounds in her mind, so if her mind is healthy, there is no reason for her xesmind to work, and she is not interested in sex. If the level of her wounds is extremely high, she may also become sexually dysfunctional because she blocks her perception of sexuality completely and her body does not respond to sexual stimulation at all. 

Happiness and wounds in mind are recognized and felt in the conscious, so when women experience sexual dysfunction, they think of it as a psychological problem and not a physical problem. They hardly try to treat their bodies for sexual dysfunction. However, they may try to treat their bodies being influenced by popular misinformation about sexuality, community activities, or their husbands.

Men perceive sexual dysfunction as a physical problem, so they assume that a woman's sexual dysfunction must also be a physical problem. They assume that there is something wrong with the woman's body that causes sexual dysfunction. It doesn't occur to men that woman's sexual dysfunction may be caused by a psychological problem. So, just as men try to cure their own sexual dysfunction, they try to cure their partner's sexual dysfunction physically.

Also, because women think that their sexual dysfunction is caused by psychological problems, they think that men's sexual dysfunction is also caused by psychological problems, so they think that treating men's psychology will cure their sexual dysfunction. Women often think that men need attention and love, and they want to comfort men thinking that they are working too hard, stressed, or tired.

Women hardly try hard to treat their own sexual dysfunction, and they don't think much about treating their partner's sexual dysfunction either, because they assume that once their psychology is restored, their sexual dysfunction will naturally resolve itself. Of course, if a woman develops an addiction as a result of wound dissociation, sexual dysfunction becomes a very serious matter to her. These women override their feelings of wounds and seek only the pleasure of their sensory organs, and they become tolerant of, or indulge in, having sex, which is the most intense and pleasurable form of sensory stimulation. This activates all the sensory organs in the woman’s body, no matter how frigid or anorgasmic a woman may have been, so when a woman who was primarily depressed and frigid converts to addiction, her body becomes easily aroused and optimized for having sex.

Regardless of how men and women perceive sexual dysfunction, if they have it and want to treat it, physical treatment should never be the first thing they do. Fundamentally, men need to create habits of mind so that they can remove xes wounds, and women need to create habits of mind so that they can treat wounds in mind and change their perceptions and values about sex.

                   https://youtu.be/OL3aGRAag7E?si=WNWrXbXJ_ObtDx5C

             About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/

 

[Sex & Xes] Divorce and Sexuality in Women with Psychological Wounds

 

Why do women get divorced? Most often, it's because their spouse has caused them a lot of wounds and stress. With small wounds, you may have conflicts and fights sometimes but good things also happen and you can just go on with your marriage feeling OK.

However, when the accumulated wounds become overwhelming, or when a spouse's infidelity, violence, or other circumstances cause unmanageable wounds in women, they turn to divorce as a means of avoiding the wounds. The problem with this is that avoiding the wounds doesn't make them go away, because divorce doesn’t remove the source of the wounds. There are a lot of wounds still staying inside you, just not acted upon because the object that triggered wounds is gone.

A woman's wounds are directly related to her entire xes psychology, including her libido and sexual functioning. Small wounds can heal by understanding the cause of the wound, receiving comfort and attention, but when the wound is too much for the mind to handle, the mind alone cannot repair it, so xesmind comes into play.

When xesmind is activated to repair the wound, even a woman who has never been interested in sex before may have a very strong desire for sex. Not only that, but the sensory organs become very active and sensitive in order to perceive sexual information, and the expression of sexuality is intensified beyond the control of consciousness. In other words, women’s sexual functioning becomes very good along with strong sexual desire, all because of the wounds in the heart.

At this point, the woman either shuts off having sex completely or her sexuality becomes hyper-activated. One may say, “I'm done with men, I'm just going to live happily with my children,” and then she pours all her xes energy, which has grown to the size of her wound, into her children. This is not to say that children are perceived as being sexual to her, but a powerful energy of the size of the wound is poured into children because desire is energy that seeks to fill in what is missing or lacking in oneself.

Wound-based needs become obsession, not love. What happens is that they obsess and over-interfere in their children's every move and mistake it for love. The result is that women end up living their lives based on wounds, and their children end up not being able to live their lives fully because of their mother's wounds.

The other choice is “men,” which is to say, “Okay. I've done enough being a wife and a mom, and now I'm going to love and enjoy my life as a woman.” In this case, the woman’s sexual function and sexual desire are highly enhanced due to the overwhelming wounds. As this is an unrecognized operation of the xesmind, the woman mistakes her change for wanting love. 

These women are easy targets for men who only want the pleasure of sex, and men are very aware that when they heal a woman's wounds, having sex follows, as does the heart. Women may consciously think, “I would never do that,” but it's not easy for the mind to control the workings of the xesmind. The stronger the “I would never do that” in the conscious mind, the stronger the opposite is in the unconscious mind. The conscious mind thinks you want a man's love, but what you really want in the unconscious is sex, not love.

If you remarry, you promise yourself countless times that you won't repeat the mistakes of the last time, and you're convinced that your new spouse will be different from the last one. Of course, in the beginning, it's too good to be true. The sex is so good, and the good times keep rolling. But as you get more intimate with your partner, the more unconscious wounds that have been building up are expressed. And then, the day you recognize something that reminds you of the events that led to the previous divorce, you have a situation where all of the old wounds come out. Then, can the new spouse handle it?

Human sexuality is a double-edged sword, and depending on how you use it, it can either kill you completely or keep you completely healthy. It has a tremendous amount of energy, but right now, everyone is unaware of its nature, so they use it to kill others and kill themselves under the illusion of love and pleasure.

Since women’s sexuality is directly related to psychological wounds, it is important to remember that when you have many wounds inside you, it is imperative to heal the wounds first. No human being can think correctly and constructively when they are in negative emotions, and in major life events such as marriage and divorce, it is imperative to heal the wounds first to create the ability to be happy to protect yourself and children.

                      https://youtu.be/QYyiIN0O8tk?si=iWnGPPid2L3tWerN

  About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/