For
men, self-esteem in sex is very important because it involves your thoughts and
ideas about your own sexuality. Low self-esteem in sex can lead to negative
perceptions and rejection of your own sexual abilities. It can also lead to
feelings of comparison, like you're not as good as others at sex.
Self-respect
in sexuality is very important for women. If a woman has low self-respect in
sex, she will compare herself with others about the feelings and emotions of
sex, and as a result of the comparison, she will feel inferior to others.
They'll also have negative feelings about how much permission and freedom they
have in sex, so they'll feel less empowered than before. They'll also feel hurt
if they don't feel the same way about sex as their partner.
For
both men and women, the result of low self-esteem and low self-respect is a
very negative sexual relationship,
resulting in rejection, discomfort, avoidance of sex, and a loss of
self-confidence, causing self-deprecation, self-devaluation, and feelings of
guilt toward the partner.
If
this situation persists and becomes entrenched, sex with your partner can
become dull and dry, which is very different from dull sex related with just
boredom. While overcoming boredom can bring back the pleasure and enjoyment of
sex if the dull sex is due to boredom, the decline and loss of self-esteem or
self-respect manifests as lethargy and disinterest, making it very difficult to
analyze the specific cause of the problem. This is a matter of restoring
lowered self-esteem and self-respect, not a matter of boredom, so the approach
and analysis must be different.
If couples
are struggling with self-esteem and self-respect issues, it may be time for
sexual counseling and therapy. This is when you need to seek professional help
to heal the wounds, especially if you've experienced unwanted sex due to
one-sided, coercive sex, or if you're in an unavoidable situation where you
feel guilty after sex. When a person is forced to have sex in a situation where
he or she feels rejection, guilt, discomfort, unpleasantness, or other negative
feelings about sex, he or she may self-justify by converting the negative
feelings into an attachment to his or her own entitlement or pleasure. This
leads to enjoying and seeking pleasure from one-sided, coercive sex, and the
self-justification process that changes the original concept of love and
affection and leads to mistaking pleasure for love and affection.
Self-esteem
and self-respect in sexuality are unique feelings that each individual
possesses, and damage to self-esteem and self-respect of sexuality has serious
after-effects. This is why it is important to talk to each other about it, to
express your feelings wisely, to understand each other, and to repair it with
care and consideration. Even a casual remark can cause serious hurt in your
partner. If it is not repaired, it will gradually go deeper and deeper into the
heart, and it will not be resolved easily.
When
you have low self-esteem and self-respect in sexuality, both the person who was
hurt and the person who hurt the partner can become victims. Sex is not
something to be enjoyed alone, and it requires two people of loving mind, and
ways to heal and recover from problems should be applied as soon as they arise.
Behaviors that may harm the partner’s self-esteem and self-respect need to be
changed and worked on.
https://youtu.be/-TEgXvhquyY?si=G5T1mzBCPMGAgGdr
About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)
Sex Therapy for Men : https://www.xestherapy.com/
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