Showing posts with label 15. Youth Mind Training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 15. Youth Mind Training. Show all posts
9/29/2021
9/08/2021
Introduction to Youth Mind Training
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
5/05/2021
A high school girl who has become a victim of school violence
Q : A boy at school says he kind of likes me, but I am not interested in him that much. The problem is that another girl at school has a crush on this boy, and she and her friends use violence against me for me getting attention from the boy. What should I do?
A : The bullying girl wants attention from the boy, but he is giving all his attention to you, so she thinks that you are taking away his attention from her and you are the obstacle between her and the boy. She wants to get rid of the obstacle, so she attacks you with the help of her friends. However, from your point of view, it is an absolutely unfair situation and the girl's behavior is down right wrong. The girl is simply releasing her negative emotions at you, which is caused by the lack of the boy's attention.
A group of people using violence against one person is a clear case of crime. How and why this girl uses violence is not important. All you need to think about now is how to protect yourself from the violence. When you neglect the issue, you will get more and more damage since they will become more and more violent. At first, they may use violence accusing you of getting the boy's attention, but they will keep using violence without any reason, and the level of violence will get intensified. They will keep bullying you even after they boy and the girl become close to each other. When people attack other people, they necessarily develop psychological problems inside themselves. When the victim does not confront against the offense, the victim is fixated as the object of offense, and then, the perpetrator will use violence upon the slightest stress and feel good without any sense of guilt.
You cannot protect yourself all by yourself in the present situation. You need to seek help from parents and teachers. Firstly, you have to talk to your parents about your situation and discuss what should be done. Even if your parents are too busy to deal with the situation directly, you should ask them to come up with some safety measures for your protection. Secondly, you must ask your teacher for help. Both parents and teachers must cooperate to protect you from violence. Protecting the victim is much more important then punishing the perpetrator. The protection of the victim must be prioritized over the punishment of the perpetrator. When parents and teachers do not take the matter seriously enough and you are not properly protected, you need to seek professional help. You must not give up or endure the situation under any circumstance. You must ask parents, teachers, and professionals for help.
Then, you also need to treat your psychology that has been damaged in the whole process. Psychology treatment is as important as physical safety because damaged psychology can be fixated for your whole life when you grow keeping psychological wounds inside you.
After physical safety is secured and psychology treatment is implemented, punishment of perpetrators may be proceeded. Here, punishment is not only for compensation but also for correcting the perpetrators' psychology, ideas, and behaviors. They are also in the process of forming self-identity as teenagers, so they need to be guided into the right direction for healthy development. Otherwise, their psychology will also stay damaged and be fixated, harming themselves and people around them for the whole life time. Here, punishment must include not only paying for their wrongdoing officially and formally, but also accurately understanding the impact of violent behaviors on both the victim's and the perpetrator's psychology and reflecting and repenting deeply.
Again, the whole process is much more than you can handle by yourself. You must gather all the help you can get to protect your body and mind and achieve full recovery.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
5/02/2021
Free Consultation on Child's Psychological Problems
Please, send us an e-mail providing the following information for free consultation on your child's psychological problems. You will receive a written report on the result of consultation in a few days. We will guide you to correctly address your child's psychological problems with adequate concepts and strategies based on accurate understanding of human mind and psychology.
* Send your e-mail to : uip@uip.ac
[Application form for free consultation on child's psychological problems]
* Title of your e--mail : Application for free consultation on child's psyhological problems(Your name or a pseudonym)
1. Personal Information :
1) Name (Pseudonym) :
2) E-mail address:
3) Country / Area of Residence:
4) Gender :
5) Age :
6) Family members whom you live with:
7) Other personal information to be shared :
2. Information on your child
1) Child's gender :
2) Child's age :
3) Grade level at school :
4) Primary caregiver :
5) Other siblings :
6) Child's personality:
7) Other information on your child to be shared :
3. Points of inquiry :
4. Points of request :
5. Questions :
[Notes]
1. Please, include facts about yourself in a simple way for '1. Personal information'.
2. Please, include facts about your child in a simple way for '2. Information on your child'.
3. Include what you are concerned about, how it happened and progressed, how things are going now for '3. Points of inquiry'.
4. Include any requests for '4. Points of request'.
5. Include general questions you may have for '5. Questions'.
* You may be provided with a more detailed report when you provide more detailed facts.
* Send your e-mail to : uip@uip.ac
[About free consultation on child's psychological problems]
You may have sought help through diverse sources to solve your child's psychological problems so far. You may have found that your child's psychology does not improve much after years of taking differen measures. In some cases, your child may have progressed into a more serious condition or developed a different type of psychological problem. You and your child may have thought about giving up on the effort out of exhaustion and repeated experiences of hope and despair.
Upon taking the free consultation on child's psychological problems provided by Korea Institute of Psycho-education, you will be guided for a more effective and fundamental treatment method. You will learn that there exists an innovative method with which the mother can solve both child's psychological problems and parenting problems without any direct intervention with conventional methods.
[Points to be included in the report of consultation]
- Analysis of root causes of child's psychological problems
- Causes of present pain and suffering
- Points to be noted when you attempt to resolve the issue
- Expected results when the issue is not resolved
- Expected results when the issue is resolved
- Directions and methods of resolving the issue
- Answers to questions you have provided regarding child psychology and parenting
strategies.
[Recepients of free consultation on child's psycholoical problems]
Parents who have a child with
- Relational conflicts, general psychological problems
- Tic disorder, Tourette disorder
- ADHD, learning disorder
- Developmental delay, developmental disorder
- Game addiction, internet addiction, SNS addiction, mobile phone addiction
- Anxiety disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, eating disorder
- Social withdrawal, autism spectrum disorder, Asperger's syndrome
- Parenting problems
The free consultation on child's psychological problems of KIP applies the mechanism of child's developmental phases and Mother Therapy based on the Theory of Mimind and the Theory of Xesmind. It analyzes and diagnoses current psychoogical condition of your child based on the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology, and provides adequate treatment methods to stabilize child's psychological condition.
Mother Therapy is a psychology treatment method that mothers themselves can adopt to stabilize child's psychology during daily interactions. Mother Therapy was developed in 2015 and has been successfully applied to many cases of child's psychological problems. Through Mother Therapy, mothers are trainied to build abilities to stabilize child's psychology on their own throughout the child's growth period.
You can solve child's psychological problems when you have a strong enough will power even if you are in the worst condition. The report on the result of the free consultation will provide you with detailed and systematic analysis of your child's psychological condition. You may be led to a new path to your child's psychological stability and true happiness, which you have long sought but not found yet, through free psychology consultation at KIP.
Thank you very much.
E-mail. uip@uip.ac
Mother Therapy : http://www.mothertherapy.net/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/
Free Consultation on Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Please, send us an e-mail providing the following information for free consultation on your psychological problems. You will receive a written report on the result of consultation in a few days. We will guide you to correctly address your psychological problems with adequate concepts and strategies based on accurate understanding of human mind and psychology.
* Send your e-mail to : uip@uip.ac
[Application form for free consultation on teenagers' psychological problems]
* Title of your e--mail : Application for free consultation on teenagers' psychological problems (Your name or a pseudonym)
1. Personal Information:
1) Name (Pseudonym) :
2) E-mail address:
3) Country / Area of Residence:
4) Gender :
5) Age :
6) Family members whom you live with:
7) Other personal information to be shared regarding psychological problems:
2. Points of inquiry :
3. Points of request :
4. Questions :
[Notes]
1. Please, include facts about yourself in a simple way for '1. Personal information'.
2. Include what you are concerned about, how it happened and progressed, how things are going now for '2. Points of inquiry'.
3. Include any requests for '3. Points of request'.
4. Include general questions you may have for '4. Questions'.
* You may be provided with a more detailed report when you provide more detailed facts.
* Send your e-mail to : uip@uip.ac
[About free consultation on teenagers' psychological problems]
The free consultation on teenagers' psychologicl problems provided by Korea Institute of Psycho-education analyzes and diagnoses teenagers' psychological conditions based on the Theory of Mimind and the Theory of Xesmind. It applies the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and teenagers' developmental phases and addresses root causes of diverse psychological problems. The report of the result of the consultation will guide you to find the right way to stabilize your psychology and pursue happiness in a true sense.
The free consultation on teenagers' psychological problems of KIP aims for correcting distorted information and knowledge on human mind and psychology and preventing teenagers from developing and aggravating psychological problems. Teenagers themselves can start to analyze their own psychological problems and be relieved from concerns and difficulties through detailed guidelines provided by free psychology consultation at KIP.
[Points to be included in the report of consultation]
- Analysis of root causes of teenagers' psychological problems
- Causes of present pain and suffering
- Points to be noted when you attempt to resolve the issue
- Expected results when the issue is not resolved
- Expected results when the issue is resolved
- Directions and methods of resolving the issue
- Answers to questions you have provided
[Recepients of free consultation on teenagers' psycholoical problems]
Teenagers who suffer from
1. Psychological stress and wounds
2. Relational conflicts with people around them (family, friends, romantic relationship, etc)
3. Depression, insomnia, eating disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, learning disorder
4. Game addiction, SNS addiction, mobild phone addiction, gambling addiction
5. Suicidal ideation, school violence, bullying, personality issues
6. Issues regarding sexuality
7. Other general psychological problems
Through free consultation on teenagers' psychological problems of KIP, you can accurately understand human mind and psychology, stabilize you psychology, and build habits of understanding and consideration. You will learn how to heal stress and treat wounds and how to accurately address diverse psychological problems and relational conflicts. In addition, you will naturally develop desire for learning and make academic achievement.
You yourself can solve your psychological problems when you have a strong enough will power even if you are in the worst condition. The report on the result of the free consultation will provide you with detailed and systematic analysis of your psychological condition. You may be led to a new path to psychological stability and true happiness, which you have long sought but not found yet, through free psychology consultation at KIP.
Thank you very much.
E-mail. uip@uip.ac
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/
4/28/2021
A 17 year-old boy who has been on medication for 6 years for panic disorder
Q : I have been on medication for 6 years for panic disorder. However, panic attack does not occur when I am focusing on something I like.
A : It is possible that you may not have the condition of panic disorder. Teenagers may experience symptoms of panic disorder without actually having the disorder. For example, when your teacher scolds you and you are stressed, you may display sudden rage that looks like an incident of intermittent explosive disorder or may experience breathing difficulties with other symptoms of panic disorder. Then, you may easily forget about it and focus on something fun and pleasurable.
Teenagers experiencing occasional displays of symptoms that resemble panic disorder is more likely to be the sign that they have not established the healing system of stress yet, rather than the sign that they actually have developed panic disorder. Also, in general, teenagers are not considered to develop psychological disorders since they are still in the process of forming self-identity and developing psychology. Their mind and psychology seem to be much more resilient and flexible and they are highly adaptible and easily transformable. Most psychological problems of children and teenagers are considered to be temporary, so usually, all they need is to establish adequate healing systems.
Even in cases of adults, selective incidents of panic disorder are considered to be a psychological problem rather than a psychological disorder, which is a type of perception disorder. Then, they just need to establish adequate healing systems instead of being treated for perception disorder. Adults may have to take a longer time to establish healing systems than children since they already have established psychology.
Counseling may help cases of psychological problems, but cases of psychological disorders need psychology treatment. Severe cases of panic disorder may be accompanied by medication. In cases of teenagers' psychological problems that look like panic disorder, counseling and building healing systems may suffice for the disappearance of symptoms and stabilization of psychology.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
Is it true that I will not hit a slump when I establish a healing system for study?
Q: Is it true that I will not hit a slump when I establish a healing system for study?
A : When you have established a healing system for study, you may not hit a slump in study, but you may still hit a slump in other activities. For example, you may change your goal from academic achievement to some other thing, such as athletic achievement. Since you have not yet established a healing system for athletic activities, you may hit a slump while making efforts in the field. You need to build a new healing system when you change your goal. Especially, teenagers go through many more changes in goals and healing systems since they are still in the process of forming self-identity through diverse experiences and trials and errors. This is only a very natural and healthy phenomenon.
In addition, there is another point to be noted. Changes in healing system may cause a slump. For example, you have had the goal of academic achievement and a healing system for study so far. However, by chance, you can have an opportunity to fall into a new and different healing system. Then, your old healing system does not work and the new healing system does not accord with your pattern of study, leading you to hit a slump. This type of problems often occur when the new healing system involves human relationships.
In such cases, you can easily reactivate the old healing system as far as you accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and make efforts, since you already have the habit with the old healing system. Reactivating an old habit is much easier than building a new habit. With this respect, it is the most important to accurately understand how healing systems and slumps operate inside us.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
4/26/2021
A high-school boy who has hit a slump in study (17 year-old)
Q. I think I have hit a slump in my study. I cannot focus and I get poor results even when I try hard.
A. The boy has been studying very hard with his own goals and plans so far. He has been successful at academic achievement with full support from his parents. Then, he began to find himself falling behind with his study plans and losing motivation. He tried harder to push himself asking parents for more support and taking more time for study.
Unfortunately, his efforts did not bring about much positive results. He entered the vicious cycle of getting more tired and less efficient with study. He couldn't focus and had to repeat the basic process of understanding the subject over and over. He came to the conclusion that he was not smart enough and felt lethargic. Parents and teachers provided him with sincere advice and other practical supports to no avail.
The boy is considered to have all these problems since he has not developed his own healing system in study. Studying necessarily induces stress since we have to constantly activate the consciousness. High school students have a lot to study and they naturally accumulate stress in the process. Males are designed to remove stress in their mind and psychology, and they also remove factual information associated with stress from their memory along the way. Without a healing system for dealing with stress that continuously flows in during studying, they cannot but end up losing efficiency and motivation.
There are two types of students who are good at studying at high-school level. One is students who have an independent healing system that deals with stress induced from activating the consciousness during studying, and the other is students who use studying itself as a healing system. In the latter case, studying is the cause of stress and a healing system at the same time, which leads them to be quite passionate about studying itself.
In addition, it must be noted that only those who make efforts hit a slump in the process of working hard. That is, studying itself is the cause of a slump. Those who are not interested in study and do not study hard never hit a slump in study. The boy deserves acknowledgement for his efforts to study hard and overcome the slump. However, the more efforts he makes for study and the more stress he accumulates by activating the consciousness, the deeper slump he falls into.
Another point to be noted is that it is better to experience a slump while he is a teenager and under the protection and guidance of his parents than experiencing a slump later when he becomes an adult. If he experiences a slump with more important life issues after he becomes an adult, he may have a more difficult time with successfully dealing with it. When he understands the mechanism of human mind and psychology, adequately overcomes the slump as a teenager, and build the ability to deal with slumps, he will be able to deal with other cases of slumps that may occur in the future.
Then, how could he go about overcoming the slump? Firstly, he needs to recover or maintain physical health. Psychological recovery must be always based on physical health. When your mind and psychology gets tired and lethargic, your body also gets tired and lethargic. You just need basic work outs such as going for a walk or doing simple exercises.
Secondly, he needs to build a healing system for study. When he feels stressed from studying, he can divert himself to leisurely activities and hobbies such as reading, listening to music, or even sleeping. Then, his psychology is stabilized again after adequately removing stress and he can resume studying with a sharp focus. When we have stable psychology, we naturally develop intellectual appetite leading to improved learning ability.
To be able to build an effective healing system, the boy must first understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and how stress is induced and can be adequately addressed. As he applies what he has understood about human mind and psychology to real life situations, he will gradually form habits to smoothly deal with stress in daily life.
Of course, it will take some time for him to form habits for adequately dealing with stress. In the mean time, he can attempt to change the pattern of managing his study trying diverse patterns regarding time, place, and subjects. After some time, he will find that he has restored intellectual appetite and passion for study. Now, he has not only your own goals and plans with passion and motivation, but also his own healing system against stress.
It is recommended to emphasize maintaining healthy psychology as well as promoting effective knowledge education in order to maximize academic success in all teenagers who are doing their best to study hard everyday. After all, academic achievement is implausible and meaningless without healthy body and mind.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
A teenage boy who wants to quit school and earn money (17)
Some teenagers quit school and earn money due to economic situations. There can be teenagers' point of view and parents' point view on the issue. In a case referred for counseling, there was a high school student who wanted to quit school and earn money to help family economy. His parents got divorced and his mother had to make a living and raise three children working as a waitress. He wanted to help his mother by earning money himself, but his mother was firm on having him attending school for education. He was already working part time and did not focus on school education. He hung out with friends who he met at the work place. His mother earnestly wanted him to study and enter college. He got involved in a few incidents of small troubles in daily life and his mother was worried about him. It was the boy who wanted counseling regarding his situation.
We need to try to understand the situation from 3 different perspectives. They are perspectives from the boy, the mother, and the society. Firstly, the most important point in the boy's perspective is that he wants to help his mother with family economy. It must be hard for his mother to support her children and herself all by herself. The boy thinks that he wants to help his mother and the hardest part for his mother is economy. He gave all the money he earned by working part time to his mother and it was not easy for him to attend school and work part time at the same time. It is only natural that he got close to friends he met at the work place. The relationship with people he met at work gave him opportunities for healing stress and having fun, and it naturally got him involved in a few small incidents of juvenile delinquency.
Secondly, his mother has a different perspective. Her life is hard, but she wants her children to be properly educated and given opportunities in the society after graduation more than anything. She would do anything to support and raise children properly so that they can become happy and successful adults. She does not mind living a hard life for her children's future at all, and downright opposes her son's plan to quit school and earn money.
Thirdly, the society does not exist for charity, and it demands the level of contribution corresponding to the value rewarded for individuals. You will get paid for what you contribute to the society. Individuals must pay the price to the society for success and happiness. A 17 year-old boy does not have much to pay the price with since he does not have great ability or skills. Then, he will be able to obtain only a limited reward from the society when he tries to earn money. Even getting help form other people usually costs whatever he can offer. Equivalent exchange is the rule in the society, so he will get paid only for the work done and must take the responsibility whatever he does.
He needs the basic ability to be able to get a job and earn money. When he begins to work without the basic ability, he will have only a small gain in the society. His mother wants his son to build the basic ability, but the boy does not seem to understand that he will be in a better position to work when he has the basic ability. This difference of perceiving the situation causes conflicts between the mother and the boy. Another point is that the friends he hangs out with at the work place may not be friends in a true sense like friends he meets at school under the protection of family and society. They are rather acquaintances or coworkers with whom he is in conscious relationships. He should not be confused about the concept of relationship with friends and that with coworkers.
What is the right path the boy can choose? The boy seems to think that earning money can make his mother happy. However, what his mother wants is for him to be educated to build the basic ability for the future. Thus, what truly makes his mother happy is for the boy to attend school and get educated. He can earn money after graduation in a better position and help his mother economically. The boy needs to understand that focusing on education now and earning money after graduation will make his mother much happier than earning only a small amount of money without any basic ability and getting involved in juvenile delinquencies. The boy needs to view the situation not only from his own perspective but also from his mother's and the society's perspectives.
To help the boy understand the situation from multiple perspectives, adults must first acknowledge the boy's perspective. Imposing only the mother's and the society's perspectives without acknowledging the boy's perspective will result in defiance. Boys in this age have the ability to think logically since they are in the phase of formation of self-identity in psychological development. He will be able to make the right choice for himself when he is provided with a situation where he can think logically. Simply pushing him for adults' ideas is the last thing to do to help him make a rational decision.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
I am in the second grade in junior-high school. I am worried that I may not be able to make friends when I transfer to a new school.
Q : I am in the second grade in junior-high school. I am an introvert, and I have a few good friends at school now. But, I have to transfer to a new school soon. I am worried that I may not be able to make friends when I transfer.
A : A 13 year old girl is in the phase of formation of self-identity in psychological development. As you enter a new environment by transfering to another school, you may feel curious and uncomfortable at the same time. You may feel anxious and nervous, especially if your life at the old environment was comfortable and satisfactory since the sharp contrast between the old and the new is sensed.
You say you are an introvert. Introverts tend to find it hard to approach people first. They may be able to make friends only when they are approached by others and the relationship naturally continues. They also prefer keeping a few good friends to keeping many friends. However, any personality trait can function positively or negatively depending on circumstances. Also, teenagers are still in the process of forming personalities as well as self-identity, so you don't have to worry about your present personality at all.
It must be noted that students at the new school have their own established networks of relationships. You should also understand that it takes time and effort to adapt yourself to the new environment. If it really bothers you, you can ask your parents to contact teachers at the new school for helping you with making friends. Then, you are more likely to adapt yourself to the new environment smoothly.
You may not have the ability to make the new environment the way you want, but you can protect yourself and adapt better when you clearly understand the situation. It also helps to keep in touch with your old friends, and keep communicating with parents and teachers for support and encouragement.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
A friend who is not so close to me keeps bothering me
Q : A friend at school who is not so close to me keeps bothering me by squeezing me around the neck from behind or repeatedly tapping me on the shoulder. I feel bad about his behaviors. Is he trying to get closer to me?
A : Firstly, your friend may think that you are close to each other whereas you may not think so. Then, he is just playing with you, but you feel bad because you don't feel close to him. Secondly, he may not think that you are close to each other but he may be just relieving his own stress by such behaviors.
The first thing to do is to find out whether he assumes a close relationship with you or not. If it turns out that he thinks you are close friends, you can simply tell him that you don't like such behaviors and ask him to stop. However, if it turns out that he is using such behaviors to relieve his stress even when he does not think that you are close, you must clearly express that you don't like it at all. Otherwise, his behaviors may keep advancing until they become violent.
In the latter case, in order to prevent problems caused by expressing your ideas, you need to be as calm and rational as possible with your expression. If bullying worsens as time goes by instead of being stopped, it is best to ask parents and teachers for help and protection. You don't have to turn a small problem into a big one by overreacting, but it may be necessary to prevent the situation from being aggravated by negligence and to minimize the damage.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
All I want to do is to draw cartoons. I don't want to go to school and I don't want to study. (Boy, 17)
This is a case referred to a counseling session at Korea Institute of Psycho-education. The boy seemed to enjoy getting immersed into drawing cartoons, and he could not enjoy any other activity. He actually had a great ability to create good cartoons with good expressions and stories. He was proud of himself and had a great aptitude in the field.
However, he had the problem of feeling no need or desire for going to school. Teachers at school did their best to have him focus on school subjects and activities, but he used time at school only for sleeping since he drew cartoons until late at night every day. Another problem was parents' intervention. His parents were worried about his peculiar behaviors and low academic achievements, so they kept pushing him for studying more and had him take additional after-school classes to catch up with school subjects. He was in the vicious cycle of drawing cartoons all night and sleeping at school and taking after-school classes without much success. He was convinced that he had aptitude for cartoon drawing but both school and home were interfering with the pursuit of his dream.
The boy had a strong passion for cartoon drawing, and he was not interested in anything else such as hanging out with friends or playing computer games. He wanted to draw cartoons whenever he had time. However, parents thought differently. They hoped that the boy would be properly educated at school for basic knowledge. They thought that focusing only on cartoon drawing excluding all other trainings and activities was too risky since there was no guarantee that he would succeed in the field of cartoon drawing. Teachers also thought that the boy needed basic knowledge and skills provided by formal education. They would do their best to guide students to learn and study so that they could be equipped for self-actualization as adults in the future. Unfortunately, all the efforts of teachers and parents were perceived as stress by the boy, so he naturally refused and rejected adults' guidance.
First of all, parents and teachers had to acknowledge the boy's passion and ability, and then, guide him to build motivation for study on his own. It was an undeniable fact that the boy was excellent at drawing cartoons. Once he was acknowledged for his passion and ability, he began to listen to adults' ideas without being stressed. In the counseling session, he was provided with two suggestions. One was to give up on school education and focus only on cartoon drawing and the other was to continue with school education and draw cartoons after school when he had time. The choice was to be made by the boy not by parents. A practical problem was that he had no time to draw cartoons except the night time when he was supposed to sleep. A compromise plan was suggested that he would draw cartoons after school instead of taking after-school classes. Then, he could sleep at night and focus on school subjects at school during the day. Of course, both the boy and his parents agreed upon the plan.
It is hard for parents to support children's positions when they show interests in fields that are not common since they know that it is not easy to succeed in those fields. The fact that parents are worried and oppose their ideas may be perceived as stress by children. Then, they would simply reject and refuse interactions with parents and their suggestions. So, it is crucial to help children to be free from stress in the interactions with adults by being empathetic, and then work for reasonable and feasible plans together.
Once we understand where to start and how to proceed with solving problems, it is not so difficult to find the right path for children with the support of home and school. When families experience conflicts due to children's education and preparation for the future, the first thing to do is for adults to understand the child's point of view, and then work together for the best plan. Imposing adults' point of view one-sidedly will only aggravate conflicts and situations.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
A 12 year-old-girl who gets irritated easily and constantly nags and bothers her younger siblings.
Q: My 12-year-old girl easily gets irritated and even yells sometimes. She also nags and bothers her younger siblings and displays selfishness a lot. What can I do about it as her mother?
A: A 12 year-old-girl is considered to be in the phase of formation of self-identity in psychological development. Girls at this phase have many thoughts and they feel difficulties when things do not accord with their thought standards. Before they enter the phase of formation of self-identity, they have gone through the phase of adaptation to relationships, where they have learned to form, maintain, and deal with good and bad relationships.
From the girl's point of view, she is irritable and selfish because she does not have anyone in the family who has a good relationship with her. She may have accumulated psychological wounds at home or at school, but has not been able to treat wounds by talking and sharing with someone in a good relationship with her. Since she has wounds accumulated inside her, any stimulation, good or bad, triggers wounds and leads to negative expressions. She may not express her negative emotions toward adults but toward younger ones since they are weaker than her. As a parent, you can first understand the reasons behind her behaviors and figure out what is or has been bothering her to accumulate such wounds inside her.
When you approach her to find out what causes her wounds, you will only add more wounds if you bluntly demand for her revelation of problems, saying things like, “Just tell me what is bothering you.” First thing to do is to build a good relationship with your daughter. Then, you can first begin to tell her about your own thoughts and feelings or your own experiences in a natural and comfortable way. Then, she will also begin to talk frankly about her thoughts and feelings.
Mother is the best person who can protect and empathize with their children. If your daughter begins to depend on other people for attention and consolation out of desperation, she may not feel the need for parents and even put herself in the danger of being exposed to harmful situations. You may have thought that your girl is peculiar or has personality problems, but trying to understand the fundamental mechanism behind her behaviors will allow you to view the situation from the child's point of view, and then, changing her behaviors may become much easier than you thought.
Apply for free consultation for Teenagers' Psychological Problems
Youth Mind Training : http://www.youthmindtraining.com/
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac
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