Some teenagers quit school and earn money due to economic situations. There can be teenagers' point of view and parents' point view on the issue. In a case referred for counseling, there was a high school student who wanted to quit school and earn money to help family economy. His parents got divorced and his mother had to make a living and raise three children working as a waitress. He wanted to help his mother by earning money himself, but his mother was firm on having him attending school for education. He was already working part time and did not focus on school education. He hung out with friends who he met at the work place. His mother earnestly wanted him to study and enter college. He got involved in a few incidents of small troubles in daily life and his mother was worried about him. It was the boy who wanted counseling regarding his situation.
We need to try to understand the situation from 3 different perspectives. They are perspectives from the boy, the mother, and the society. Firstly, the most important point in the boy's perspective is that he wants to help his mother with family economy. It must be hard for his mother to support her children and herself all by herself. The boy thinks that he wants to help his mother and the hardest part for his mother is economy. He gave all the money he earned by working part time to his mother and it was not easy for him to attend school and work part time at the same time. It is only natural that he got close to friends he met at the work place. The relationship with people he met at work gave him opportunities for healing stress and having fun, and it naturally got him involved in a few small incidents of juvenile delinquency.
Secondly, his mother has a different perspective. Her life is hard, but she wants her children to be properly educated and given opportunities in the society after graduation more than anything. She would do anything to support and raise children properly so that they can become happy and successful adults. She does not mind living a hard life for her children's future at all, and downright opposes her son's plan to quit school and earn money.
Thirdly, the society does not exist for charity, and it demands the level of contribution corresponding to the value rewarded for individuals. You will get paid for what you contribute to the society. Individuals must pay the price to the society for success and happiness. A 17 year-old boy does not have much to pay the price with since he does not have great ability or skills. Then, he will be able to obtain only a limited reward from the society when he tries to earn money. Even getting help form other people usually costs whatever he can offer. Equivalent exchange is the rule in the society, so he will get paid only for the work done and must take the responsibility whatever he does.
He needs the basic ability to be able to get a job and earn money. When he begins to work without the basic ability, he will have only a small gain in the society. His mother wants his son to build the basic ability, but the boy does not seem to understand that he will be in a better position to work when he has the basic ability. This difference of perceiving the situation causes conflicts between the mother and the boy. Another point is that the friends he hangs out with at the work place may not be friends in a true sense like friends he meets at school under the protection of family and society. They are rather acquaintances or coworkers with whom he is in conscious relationships. He should not be confused about the concept of relationship with friends and that with coworkers.
What is the right path the boy can choose? The boy seems to think that earning money can make his mother happy. However, what his mother wants is for him to be educated to build the basic ability for the future. Thus, what truly makes his mother happy is for the boy to attend school and get educated. He can earn money after graduation in a better position and help his mother economically. The boy needs to understand that focusing on education now and earning money after graduation will make his mother much happier than earning only a small amount of money without any basic ability and getting involved in juvenile delinquencies. The boy needs to view the situation not only from his own perspective but also from his mother's and the society's perspectives.
To help the boy understand the situation from multiple perspectives, adults must first acknowledge the boy's perspective. Imposing only the mother's and the society's perspectives without acknowledging the boy's perspective will result in defiance. Boys in this age have the ability to think logically since they are in the phase of formation of self-identity in psychological development. He will be able to make the right choice for himself when he is provided with a situation where he can think logically. Simply pushing him for adults' ideas is the last thing to do to help him make a rational decision.
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