Q : A friend at school who is not so close to me keeps bothering me by squeezing me around the neck from behind or repeatedly tapping me on the shoulder. I feel bad about his behaviors. Is he trying to get closer to me?
A : Firstly, your friend may think that you are close to each other whereas you may not think so. Then, he is just playing with you, but you feel bad because you don't feel close to him. Secondly, he may not think that you are close to each other but he may be just relieving his own stress by such behaviors.
The first thing to do is to find out whether he assumes a close relationship with you or not. If it turns out that he thinks you are close friends, you can simply tell him that you don't like such behaviors and ask him to stop. However, if it turns out that he is using such behaviors to relieve his stress even when he does not think that you are close, you must clearly express that you don't like it at all. Otherwise, his behaviors may keep advancing until they become violent.
In the latter case, in order to prevent problems caused by expressing your ideas, you need to be as calm and rational as possible with your expression. If bullying worsens as time goes by instead of being stopped, it is best to ask parents and teachers for help and protection. You don't have to turn a small problem into a big one by overreacting, but it may be necessary to prevent the situation from being aggravated by negligence and to minimize the damage.
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