This is a case referred to a counseling session at Korea Institute of Psycho-education. The boy seemed to enjoy getting immersed into drawing cartoons, and he could not enjoy any other activity. He actually had a great ability to create good cartoons with good expressions and stories. He was proud of himself and had a great aptitude in the field.
However, he had the problem of feeling no need or desire for going to school. Teachers at school did their best to have him focus on school subjects and activities, but he used time at school only for sleeping since he drew cartoons until late at night every day. Another problem was parents' intervention. His parents were worried about his peculiar behaviors and low academic achievements, so they kept pushing him for studying more and had him take additional after-school classes to catch up with school subjects. He was in the vicious cycle of drawing cartoons all night and sleeping at school and taking after-school classes without much success. He was convinced that he had aptitude for cartoon drawing but both school and home were interfering with the pursuit of his dream.
The boy had a strong passion for cartoon drawing, and he was not interested in anything else such as hanging out with friends or playing computer games. He wanted to draw cartoons whenever he had time. However, parents thought differently. They hoped that the boy would be properly educated at school for basic knowledge. They thought that focusing only on cartoon drawing excluding all other trainings and activities was too risky since there was no guarantee that he would succeed in the field of cartoon drawing. Teachers also thought that the boy needed basic knowledge and skills provided by formal education. They would do their best to guide students to learn and study so that they could be equipped for self-actualization as adults in the future. Unfortunately, all the efforts of teachers and parents were perceived as stress by the boy, so he naturally refused and rejected adults' guidance.
First of all, parents and teachers had to acknowledge the boy's passion and ability, and then, guide him to build motivation for study on his own. It was an undeniable fact that the boy was excellent at drawing cartoons. Once he was acknowledged for his passion and ability, he began to listen to adults' ideas without being stressed. In the counseling session, he was provided with two suggestions. One was to give up on school education and focus only on cartoon drawing and the other was to continue with school education and draw cartoons after school when he had time. The choice was to be made by the boy not by parents. A practical problem was that he had no time to draw cartoons except the night time when he was supposed to sleep. A compromise plan was suggested that he would draw cartoons after school instead of taking after-school classes. Then, he could sleep at night and focus on school subjects at school during the day. Of course, both the boy and his parents agreed upon the plan.
It is hard for parents to support children's positions when they show interests in fields that are not common since they know that it is not easy to succeed in those fields. The fact that parents are worried and oppose their ideas may be perceived as stress by children. Then, they would simply reject and refuse interactions with parents and their suggestions. So, it is crucial to help children to be free from stress in the interactions with adults by being empathetic, and then work for reasonable and feasible plans together.
Once we understand where to start and how to proceed with solving problems, it is not so difficult to find the right path for children with the support of home and school. When families experience conflicts due to children's education and preparation for the future, the first thing to do is for adults to understand the child's point of view, and then work together for the best plan. Imposing adults' point of view one-sidedly will only aggravate conflicts and situations.
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