[Mother Therapy] Working moms want to take a rest.

Q. I used to be a full-time mother but I recently went back to work. I want to take a rest and have some time to myself when I come home from work. However, I am worried that I will become distant from my children if I keep doing that. My children seem to have difficulties since I am not around home all day. I even wonder if I have to stop working. 

A. Having a job before and after you get married affect your life quite differently since you must consider your family when you are married and have children. When you go back to the work place after staying at home for several years, there are many things you should adjust in your life. People experience difficulties since they don't know what to expect and how to deal with new circumstances. However, understanding the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology will make your transition easier and smoother guiding you in the right direction. 

When you go back to work after staying at home taking care of children for several years, it must be very difficult to manage both home and your career at the same time. You may want to focus more on work pursuing values of life than on home and children, which is pursuing meanings of life, now that you have started fresh again for your career. 

In this case, you can prepare yourself in advance for addressing and managing difficult situations you will face when you go back to work. If you just avoid your responsibilities at home and for children losing balance between the pursuit of values and meanings of life, your children will end up being burdened and damaged. 

It is absolutely right for mothers to pursue both values and meanings of life. However, they must do their best to keep balance between the two components. They must establish the environment where all family members can be happy together whether mothers work outside home or not. Both the mother and children can develop and flourish in a healthy way as far as the balance is maintained. When the mother avoids interacting with children and seek only her own comfort, the mother-child relationship cannot but be damaged and children are the ones who are negatively affected the most. 

The family relationship should never be neglected when the mother decides to pursue her career again. When the mother overly gets immersed into her career, she will gradually change herself to a person who seeks her own comfort and pleasure. Mothers must consider all the important matters related with family life and child rearing so that the mother can pursue both meanings and values of life in balance, and still, all the family members can be happy together. 

https://youtu.be/RM9MOJnrK_g

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