Have you ever
been in a conversation with someone and had it turn awkward? Whether it's with
a friend, family member, or coworker, we've all had the experience of having a
conversation with someone and having it turn awkward. Let's take the example of
a conversation between a mother and her teenage daughter.
The topic of
conversation was plans for the future, and the daughter was talking
passionately about the direction she was thinking about taking, and the mother
was listening and sharing some of her own thoughts. Sensing that things were
getting awkward, the mother asked her daughter what was wrong, and she said,
“Mom, I just wanted to talk to you about this and that, but you took it so
seriously that I don't know if I should say more.”
So the mother
said, “Was I too serious? Maybe I was thinking and talking only from my own
perspective. Maybe you were uncomfortable.” They checked on each other's
thoughts and feelings in the moment, and the mother explained the situation to
her so she could understand, and then they were able to clear up the
misunderstanding and get back to talking.
When we have
conversations, we tend to think and express ourselves more from our own
perspective than our partner's, but conversations are not just about exchanging
words, so it's important to try to understand where the other person is coming
from and what they're expecting. For example, when a close friend confides in
you about a problem, she might not want your advice, but just want to be
listened to and empathized with, and if you give her advice, the conversation
won't go anywhere.
It's good to keep
these two things in mind when you're having a conversation: one, be clear about
what you really want to communicate and think about how you're going to express
it, and two, try to understand where the other person is coming from when they're
having this conversation.
Conversation is
an important tool for us to communicate, understand, and develop relationships
with others, but sometimes things get awkward or we say things that can be
hurtful, and conversations don't always go smoothly, but we can learn from
these experiences to do better and understand the other person more deeply.
Conflict in
conversations, especially in intimate relationships, can lead to other
difficulties, so remember and apply these tips the next time you have a
conversation with someone close to you, and you'll have a richer conversation
and a closer relationship.
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