Before you take actions to solve and cope with problems of spouse infidelity, the first and the most important thing to do is to accurately understand the mechanism of infidelity from a psychological perspective. When spouse infidelity occurs, it indicates that the spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction, which is a severe psychological disorder. He or she has developed psychological disorders in 2 of the 3 psychological components.
Women in relationship addiction have developed attention addiction with a simultaneous occurrence of the disorder of memory of emotions and expression disorder. The pattern is similar to bipolar disorder, but they are different in that women in bipolar disorder do not want attention from people, but women in relationship addiction seek attention from people in relationships. Both conditions may be accompanied by hysteria.
Men in relationship addiction has developed response addiction with a simultaneous occurrence of perception disorder and expression disorder. When they cannot seek pleasure activating expression disorder due to some external factors, they suffer from perception disorder or intermittent explosive disorder upon the smallest trigger of stress. Relationship addiction is different from other addictions in the sense that 2 of the 3 components of psychology develop disorders.
The victimized spouse develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity. Post traumatic stress refers to an acute psychological condition where one has not developed a psychological disorder yet, but is on the verge of developing psychological disorders in all 3 components of psychology. People with post traumatic stress suffer from excruciating psychological pain due to the sudden collapse of psychology in perception, memory, and expression. It can be said that post traumatic stress is a more serious condition than relationship addiction since all 3 components of psychology are on the verge of collapse.
This analysis supports the argument that the treatment of post traumatic stress must be emphasized more than the treatment of relationship addiction, and the former must precede the latter. When you do not understand this operational mechanism of human mind and psychology, you may try to treat your spouse with relationship addiction rather than treating yourself with post traumatic stress thinking that your pain will disappear when your spouse in infidelity is treated or corrected.
The spouse in infidelity is in the condition of relationship addiction. The wife in infidelity has developed the disorder of memory of emotions and expression disorder simultaneously. The husband in infidelity has developed perception disorder and expression disorder simultaneously. Both the wife and the husband in infidelity have developed expression disorder. Expression disorder is manifested as inward expression disorder and outward expression disorder. Inward expression disorder makes people with expression disorder have distorted thoughts, so expression disorder is also referred to as consciousness disorder. Outward expression disorder makes you speak and act in distorted ways and it is often called obsessive-compulsive disorder or addiction.
When people develop expression disorder, their speech and actions change on identical topics and in identical situations compared with their speech and actions when they were normal. When the victimized spouse tries to talk or do things with the souse in infidelity, he or she finds that their spouse is not the person they have known, so they feel hurt tremendously. The more the couple who suffer from the issue of infidelity are engaged in talks and activities with each other, the victimized spouse grows more wounds and stress and aggravates the psychological condition.
The spouses in infidelity generate intense stress or activate wounds inside them every time they perceive anything that do not accord with their pleasure seeking or addiction. They would respond to stress and activated wounds in infinitely diverse and unique ways, justify their speech and actions, and strongly argue that they are normal. When others say that they are in the wrong path of life, they would justify themselves at all cost. Sadly enough,their mistaken and illusionary speech and actions are taken as true causes of infidelity by many people around the world including psychology experts.
Korea Institute of Psycho-education has discovered after years of research that the cause of infidelity is relationship addiction, and it has also developed an effective treatment method based on the developed theories. Upon the discovery of spouse infidelity, it is crucial for the victimized spouse to accurately understand that the spouse in infidelity has developed relationship addiction. That is, you need to admit that your spouse has a pathological condition. Once you admit that your spouse has relationship addiction, you can prevent aggravating the situation by being able to predict and properly deal with your spouse's speech, actions, and responses. Then, you can maintain the current level of the situation, but it does not mean that either of you has been treated and restored healthy psychology.
Post traumatic stress causes excruciating pain and grows as time goes by. You will suffer from not only pain but also rage and irrational behaviors, expressing your pain and wounds even at your children. The more you express your pain and wounds, the more severe your condition becomes. Your own speech and actions worsen your psychological condition when you have post traumatic stress.
When general psychological wounds and stress that occur in relationships in daily life are at the severity level of -10 in a metaphorical sense, the severity level of wounds and stress caused by spouse infidelity is -100,000 and more. Especially, spouses who have thought they have a happy marriage are affected more severely. At least, recognizing pain and wounds indicates that you have not developed psychological disorders yet, and your mind is signaling that you need to restore happiness.
Unfortunately, many available sources of information on infidelity provide only superficial analyses and solutions instead of the underlying mechanisms and accurate treatment methods. To make matters worse, some people even guide you to form rapport with other people or seek pleasure of your own, which accelerates the development of psychological disorders. When you yourself develop psychological disorders after suffering from pain due to spouse infidelity, you may feel extremely comfortable and become a pleasure seeker experiencing occasional incidents of hysteria. Then, you cannot but ruin your life along with the lives of your loved ones destroying all your relationships.
When infidelity occurs in your marriage relationship, it is imperative for you to accurately understand what psychological conditions you and your spouse have. Accurately understanding the nature and the true cause of infidelity will lead you to predict what may happen in the course and prevent the aggravation of situation. It will also empower you to redesign and rebuild happiness of yours and your loved ones'.
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