When women
get stressed and wounded, their unconscious is activated and tries to treat the
negative feelings caused by stress and wounds, so women treat the feelings of
wounds by unconsciously expressing through speech, actions, and facial
expressions.
When
negative feelings such as stress and wounds arise, they embrace them at first.
It can be demanding, frustrating and painful, but their minds try to accept it
and understand the cause, process, and consequences of the stress and wounds.
Their unconscious tries to analyze and process negative feelings in order to
find out the fundamental nature of stress and wounds. Then, they seek
consolation regarding the negative feelings. This is how women treat their
stress and wounds. When they get consoled, women feel happy as consolation
serves as satisfactory justification and understanding that leads to
psychological stability. At this point, their stress and wounds are treated,
and their negative feelings turn into a void of feeling or positive feelings.
When negative feelings turn into positive feelings, they feel happy presently.
The unconscious is operating the entire
process. It is operated when a woman is trying to understand and discover the
nature of stress and wounds. It also operates when she gets consoled.
Therefore, understanding the cause, process, and consequence of stress and
wounds is really important to women that are stressed and wounded. That is how
they can process the stress and wounds. Subsequently, they seek consolation
which stabilizes their psychology and makes them feel relaxed. In this way,
women perceive that it is not their fault that caused stress and wounds. Then,
they can calm their psychology and mind. The treatment of negative feelings
such as stress and wounds involves its transformation into a void of feelings
or positive feelings. The only way to replace negative feelings with a void of
feelings and positive feelings is to understand the true nature of the stress
and wounds.
This is the
principle of the treatment of women's stress and wounds and a method of
healing; although the stress and wounds are remembered, negative feelings are
not attached to them. Instead, a void of feeling or positive feelings is
recalled and prevent the stress and wounds from operating as negative feelings.
So, psychological treatment helps women remember the facts of stress and wounds
along with a void of feelings or positive feelings. If the treatment fails, the
memory of facts about stress and wounds will be recalled with negative feelings
and cause hardship, pain and suffering.
Since men
and women have different minds, their unconscious also operates differently
when it heals stress and wounds. When a woman gets stressed or wounded or is
reminded of past stress and wounds, she first needs to know the true nature of
the stress and wounds. That is why she searches on the internet, asks her
friends or acquaintances, reads books, or listens to speeches, lectures, and
training in an effort to discover its true nature. She can't sit around quietly
until she figures out what those stress and wounds are.
If her
husband comes home with a long-face, the wife thinks, 'I don't know what, but
there seems to be a problem here.'. Then, she first asks her husband,
"what is wrong?", and feel her heart sink as she thinks something
serious really happened to him. She can't help but ask him questions. When a
woman perceives stress and wounds, her unconscious operation forces her to find
out what is going on. So, she tries very hard to understand the nature of
things when she feels frustrated due to stress and wounds. It is because she is
a woman. All the women around her are the same.
At this point, if the nature of the stress
and wounds is obscure and incomprehensible, she cannot treat the stress and
wounds. How can she treat things that she doesn't know what to make of?
Treating these doesn't make any sense. So, she builds up stress and wounds
little by little in her mind. She suppresses and endures everything because she
doesn't want to spoil anyone's mood or make it into a bigger problem. This is
called the suppression of stress and wounds.
Like this, women try hard to understand the nature of
stress and wounds. After learning the nature and getting the consolation such
as 'it wasn't your fault.', 'this is what really happened.', 'how difficult was
it?', their stress and wounds are surprisingly treated and remembered well. So,
women have a good memory of the feelings of stress and wounds whether these
feelings are treated or not. If they recall their feelings after successful
treatment, they will have a void of feelings or positive feelings. But if they
recall their feelings, they will feel pain and frustration due to their
negative feelings.
As previously discussed regarding emotional confrontations
and arguments, men and women perceive a conversation and remember emotions
differently. Also, we remember only 10% of what we expressed through speech and
actions in human relationships with loved ones, but we remember 90% of what the
partner said, did or showed on his or her face. The error of psychological
interactions causes everyone to think that a problem is caused by the partner's
fault rather than my fault.
You are the same because you live as a person in relationships
(PIR) as well. Everyone is the same. Even experts have emotional confrontations
with their partners when they get angry. It is the same for anyone around you.
However, if you know the principle of mind and psychology, you can apply the
diagrams alone after an emotional argument and will know how to apologize to
your partner and treat the partner's stress and wounds. This is the healing
system for wounds that you want.
You are a human being and cannot stop the operation of
the unconscious. Men cannot avoid their unconscious as you cannot avoid the
unconscious of women. We are all human beings, and our unconscious operates
without purposeful intent. However, humans are great in that we are capable of
coping after the fact if we know the accurate principle of mind and psychology.
Therefore, after learning the principle of mind and psychology, you can easily
understand using the diagram when your child or spouse causes trouble.
Then, you will realize how much your children and spouse
love you. If they don't love you, there is no reason for them to bother you.
Why get mad and waste your energy on someone you don't love? Also, would you
unconsciously express something and demand the treatment of negative feelings
of stress and wounds to someone that you don't love?
It would be good to share this book with your spouse and
children. I tell people to discuss the principle of mind and psychology with
your spouse or children as many times as possible. When I begin a lecture on
wounds and a healing system, I see married couples sitting awkwardly with some
space between them. But after the lecture, they walk out holding hands. It is
the same for couples experiencing critical conflicts and emotional
confrontations. Surprisingly, they don't let go of each other's hands. With the
explanation of mind and psychology, they understood why and how much their
spouse loves them. It heals them.
Every woman has a mind factory that creates feelings of
happiness. This factory of happiness only exists in women. Men will remove and
forget about stress, so they only pursue fun and pleasurable things. On the
other hand, women treat stress and wounds by turning them into positive
feelings and happiness. So, this factory manufacturing happiness is in every
woman in this world. Only women possess this factory.
Although women remember their stress and wounds, they can
also treat these stress and wounds and feel happiness. But men cannot remember
negative feelings or feelings of wounds and cannot feel the happiness until the
day they die. Men will never know what happiness is until they die.
When you heard that men cannot remember feelings of
wounds because they only remember good things, you may have thought, 'I should
have been born as men', or 'good for men'. But you should know that until
death, men, unfortunately, cannot feel the happiness that you are capable of
feeling. Men just think that what is currently fun and pleasurable will
continue to be great tomorrow and in the future. So, even if they get stressed
out or have problems, they will stay positive and say, "I'll do better
next time.", "It's going to be okay.", "Let's talk about it
tomorrow.". Men with a healthy mind and psychology have such unconscious
operation until the day they die. Eventually, they are striving for intangible
things that they cannot feel such as happiness.
On contrast, women's happiness is a tangible feeling in
life. Men can only feel the happiness indirectly and see it as an abstract
concept based on their observation of women who can directly feel the
happiness.
You don't need to worry even if you gave stress to a man.
He will forget about the stressful negative moods within three days. Also, do
not feel sad for a woman who got stressed or wounded. She will acquire happy
feelings after treating those stress and wounds. You all have the ability to do
so because you are all in loving relationships. This is the most basic type of
happiness in a loving relationship. Therefore, a family is the smallest unit of
happiness, and you are the happiness factory.
Sometimes I have parents bring their young children or
teenagers to treat their psychological problems. At this point, I don't counsel
those children or teenagers; only parents are counseled. I explain to the
parents how to treat their children and the ways to heal stress and wounds.
Then, troubled children or teenagers are treated and healed. Even though I did
not directly counsel children or teenagers, parents could easily treat their
own children. Children did not do anything wrong. Children only have the right
to be loved by their parents, teachers, and adults and do not have any
responsibility to love them back.
You are doing your best to love your children and
husband. No one can deny this fact. Then, think about whether you were relieved
after sharing your stress and wounds with your children and asking them to
treat it for you. Why would you burden your children with your stress and
wounds? Why do you accuse your children of causing your stress and wounds? It
was not your children that gave you those stress and wounds.
Therefore, if you have some problems that make you angry,
annoyed, or worried, draw the diagram and apply it to your situation. Then, you
will stop short before venting on your children and be able to see the adorable
side of your children again as your stress and wounds are treated. It happens
because the diagrams help you understand the nature of stress and wounds. It
doesn't matter who originally caused the stress and wounds and when and where
it happened. Once you know exactly what those stress and wounds are, you can
turn the negative feelings into a void of feelings or good feelings. Then, you
will create happiness.
I have explained the difference between men's and women's
perception of conversation, the error in the memory of the emotion of men and
women, and the error in psychological interactions. You should know that
expression is unconscious whereas perception is conscious in loving human
relationships and that we blame others when a problem occurs. The partner goes
through the same operation. This information will be very useful when you are in
an emotional confrontation or conflict with your loved ones. If your friend is
having difficulties after fighting with her spouse, listen to her speak. Then,
apply the diagram that you learned in her story. It can show that your friend
and her spouse are remarkably identical to you. It is because they are all
humans.
Now, since you learned a little bit about the principle of mind and psychology and the method of healing, you can apply it on yourself, your children, husband, friends, and acquaintances. It is very practical and applicable. It will help you heal negative feelings and create happiness within your mind.
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