There are people who you should avoid interacting with. Many people do not know about this concept and do not know how to avoid those people, so they experience difficulties in relationships. When you are in a good relationship having fun and comfort together, you cannot tell whether they are people you should avoid or not. You can tell what kind of people they are by looking at their speech and actions they take when they experience difficulties from stress and wounds.
People display three types of responses when they experience pain or crisis. The first is to become dependent on other people, religion, study, or hobbies to break away from pain and crisis and achieve comfort. The second is to blame themselves for their pain and crisis. The third is to blame other people or the society. Many people fall for dependency, self-blame, or other-blame upon experiencing difficulties in life.
In the first type, you don't have to avoid them if you can and want to take responsibility for the person who wants to become dependent on you. It not, you will only aggravate the person's condition by letting them become dependent on you. When they become dependent on you, they may even perceive that the damage you inflict upon them as benefits for them. As the relationship progresses, you may end up being a perpetrator without intention. It may look cold to refuse to help and sever the relationship, but it actually benefits both you and them when you cannot take full responsibility to take care of them.
In the second type, they keep blaming themselves for their pain and crisis and they usually do not harm other people. They will try to take full responsibility for their pain and crisis, and find causes in themselves. They may not be able to break away from pain and crisis even when others offer help or consolation. It is recommended that you provide them with encouragement and consolation to help them overcome pain and crisis. When no one offers help, they keep blaming themselves more and more and may end up destroying their life in many ways. You can form a good relationship with them when you offer help to them, so they do not belong to people who you should avoid.
In the third type, you can be damaged by their behaviors so you need to avoid them by all means. You should not provide them with help or consolation when they are suffering from pain and crisis since they are highly likely to blame you for their misfortune in the future.
People who become dependent, blame themselves, or blame others can develop psychological disorders. There are two types of psychological disorders. One is the disorder of positivity and the other is the disorder of negativity. People with the disorder of negativity live in pain and difficulties whereas people with the disorder of positivity take advantage of other people to pursue their own fun and pleasure. The disorder of negativity usually occurs in people with the issue of dependency or self-blame. They suffer from depression and panic disorder and hardly inflict damage on other people.
On the other hand, the disorder of positivity occurs in people with the issue of other-blame. They develop addiction and the consciousness disorder and pursue fun and pleasure at all costs. They are convinced that others rather than themselves cause problems, and do not hesitate to bother other people to pursue their own fun and pleasure. They cannot stand the slightest stress and wounds when things do not turn out as they want, blaming other people. They are active and good at pursuing fun and pleasure with others, but they start blaming others the moment they cannot have their own way. You don't have to avoid people with the disorder of negativity, but you should avoid people with the disorder of positivity by all means.
When you do not avoid people with the disorder of positivity and keep interacting with them, you also may end up developing the disorder of positivity and ruin your own life and lives of others. People with the disorder of positivity will invite you to live like them prioritizing having fun and pleasure over everything else. They contribute to turning more and more people into people with the disorder of positivity.
You may decide on avoidance by keeping a certain distance with people who belong to the three types and wait until they recover instead of completely severing the relationship. When you are convinced that it is impossible for them to recover, you can sever the relationship with them. Any one can experience pain and crisis and display one of the three characteristics in the process. Anyone can develop the psychological disorder of negativity or positivity. When you experience pain and crisis, it also indicates that the chance has come for you to restore healthy psychology. When you do not restore healthy psychology but develop psychological disorders, you are highly likely to live unhappily and damage other people.
By understanding the mechanism of dependency, self-blame, and other blame, you can manage your relationships with other people adequately in a way that benefits both you and your counterparty.
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