We cannot but face many problems in life. Sometimes, it is not easy to solve problems in a wise and sensible way. To be able to solve problems wisely and sensibly, we must first accurately understand the concept of problems.
As problems occur in your life, you may feel anxious and frustrated indicating that you are in a difficult situation. Human beings are to experience ups and downs of emotions everyday. You may feel comfortable one moment, then delighted the next moment, and then sad, and then comfortable again. Happiness is formed as both positive and negative emotions circulate in life. In this process, we also encounter moments of crisis with major problems of life. The three areas where major problems can occur are survival, relationship, and sexuality.
When you encounter major problems of life, you can recover only when you have the will to solve the problem without giving up. To be able to solve the problem wisely, you must first accurately understand the root cause. If you keep trying to solve the problem only basing your judgment on visible phenomena, you will encounter more or even bigger problems.
If you depend on other people to solve problems of you life, you will also aggravate the situation. The anxiety and frustration you experience due to problems of life can never be recognized or understood by other people. Depending on other people for any matter of your life is likened to living other people's life. You must build the will power to be able to solve problems on your own. Problems will only grow as you blame others or yourself or develop dependency.
It is important to accurately understand the fundamental cause in solving the problem. Also, it is natural to go through trails and errors as you try to solve problems. However, trial and error will make you build problem solving abilities. Then, you will be able to solve even bigger problems without giving up or developing dependency.
Many people focus on only the visible phenomena instead of the nature and the root cause of the problem. The first thing you need to do is to reflect upon yourself and your condition and restore your healthy psychology. Then, you can find the root cause of the problem itself and solve the problem in a practical way. As you try to find the root cause and solve the problem without maintaining or restoring healthy psychology, you are automatically led to blame yourself or others and develop dependency, which will only aggravate your psychological condition and the situation.
When you do not have healthy psychology in pain with anxiety and frustration, you may view the situation negatively and lose right judgment. You may involve other people in solving the problem and make the error of self-justification. You need time for self-reflection when you experience emotional difficulty, which will lead you to see everything more clearly and make right judgment.
You will necessarily experience trials and errors trying to solve the problem even when you have healthy psychology. Trials and errors will make you build your own unique thought standards and your own problem solving ability. The more standards you have, the more abilities for judgment you will have. You must build the will power and keep making efforts to solve problems in the right way maintaining healthy psychology. When you try to solve the problem after finding the root cause, you first need the will power before anything to be able to keep making efforts without giving up or developing dependency.
A simple example of solving a problem is a case of an argument between two people. Suppose you went into an argument as you have a conversation with someone. You ended up becoming emotional and yelling at each other. You must first stop interacting to be able to reach reconciliation. Then, you must find the root cause of the problem. If it is judged that you had an argument because you had different ideas, you must stop arguing and keep silence until you find the underlying cause of having different ideas. Finding the underlying cause will make you find the solution wisely. After solving the problem by acknowledging the difference in ideas, you can restore positive emotions toward each other. You don't have to find the cause of the emotional conflict since it occurred just because you didn't know the root cause of the problem.
You must not let small problems pass by by avoidance or negligence since big problems will occur as a result of small problems being accumulated. As you try to solve small problems in the right way one by one as they occur, you will be able to prevent the occurrence of big problems and build problem solving abilities.
Many people do not try to solve problems on their own and choose to blame themselves or others and develop dependency. They can never develop problem solving abilities and enter the vicious cycle of experiencing problems, giving up or developing dependency, and having bigger problems. They also have difficulty in self-actualization since they don't have the will power to overcome stress and wounds. We can live a meaningful and valuable life only when you take charge of your own life and solve problems on your own.
People who do not live a life with healthy self-centeredness do not have basic problem solving abilities, and they are easily put in danger of being manipulated by other people. You must keep trying to solve your problems on your own even if you are clumsy and feel uncomfortable and unconfident. If you don't take actions fearing errors and failures, you will not be able to build problem solving abilities and live a life as you want.
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