Q. My 13 year-old daughter says that she has decided to go steady with a boy she has a crush on. I am thankful to her that she talks to me about her boyfriend, but I cannot help being worried about her first dating relationship. Will dating have a good or bad effect on a 13 year-old girl?
A. We cannot simply judge whether dating is good or bad for a teenage girl. Generally, her experience is likely to have both positive and negative influence on her life. However, a girl repeating dating relationships over and over again with different boys with short duration and intervals indicates that she has developed psychological problems.
For example, your daughter goes out with a boy and breaks up with him. Then, she goes out with another boy and breaks up with him for similar reasons. Next, she repeats the whole process with multiple boys in a row. Then, you as her mother must try to find out what psychological problems she has.
The experience of breaking up with a boy may accumulate psychological wounds in her and it may outweigh the positive effects of dating experience. Frequently changing partners for a dating relationship during teenage years may also lead her to develop similar pattern even when she becomes an adult.
You can help her form healthy habits of forming and maintaining harmonious relationships with men through dating experiences by paying attention to her and talking with her about the topic with warm heart. Then, she will naturally be able to learn how to manage healthy relationships at present and in the future.
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