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There can be three types of sexless couples. One is when the wife refuses to have sex, another is when the husband refuses to have sex, and the other is when both the husband and the wife don't want to have sex. Today, I will talk about the first case, which is when the wife refuses to have sex.
There can be so many reasons why the wife refuses to have sex since everyone has different life experiences and current situations. However, there is only one fundamental cause for women's negative perception on sexuality. It is women's xes habits that associate feelings in mimind and sexuality. Women perceive having sex as a means of love. That is, they perceive having sex as a means to confirm the partner's love and maintain their love. Women may repeat this process every time they have sex with their partners during dating relationships.
When some time passes after getting married, love that used to be recognized in the conscious develops to habits in the unconscious. They may not consciously recognize feelings of love as they did during dating relationships, but they build unconscious and absolute trust for their partners. Married women may perceive their husbands as a partner who always stays with them and for them without having to confirm their love over and over again. They don't have to confirm their love since the wife is the only woman who gives meanings of live for the husband no matter what. Women may feel stable and comfortable and they don't feel they need having sex in their relationship.
When the husband demands having sex continuously in this situation, the wife gets stressed and begins to combine all kinds of reasons with not wanting to have sex. The fundamental cause is the unconscious operation in mimind and xesmind, but she thinks that she doesn't have sex for all kinds of reasons that occur to her conscious. As this situation continues, she may end up perceiving that she doesn't like her husband anymore since he is the source of her stress. Women connect sexuality and feelings in mimind, so they cannot think of having sex and not liking the husband as separate matters in their conscious.
On the other hand, women's sexual desire develop based on the desire to treat wounds in mimind. Women are born with the ability to treat wounds and restore happiness on their own by activating sexuality and generating xes energy in xesmind. However, distorted information and distorted social trends lead women to try to treat wounds through activating sexuality only by the help of other people.
It is only natural that women who have many wounds have great sexual desire. However, the wife who has happy and stable marriage life doesn't usually develop so great wounds that may lead to strong sexual desire. Also, married couples naturally activate sexuality in daily life without recognizing much even when they do not have sex, so the wife is likely to be treating her wounds and feel satisfied without having sex. For example, sleeping in the same bed with the husband and getting the husband's attention and touching each other in daily life are all considered as sexuality being activated.
Women form xes habits combining sexuality and feelings in mimind from all their life experiences. When they activate feelings of love in mimind, the may have sex as a means for love, and when they feel comfortable, they may easily do without having sex. Also, when they have great wounds, they try to treat wounds through having sex. Unfortunately, when women have sex based on great wounds and strong sexual desire, having sex will induce even more wounds. In this case, being rejected by men or suppressing sexual desire will also grow wounds further. This mechanism explains the prevalent idea that women have emotional sex.
When wife's refusing to have sex is analyzed only at the surface level without understanding the operational mechanism, no effort can lead to solutions and it only contributes to destroying the wife's mind further. All the practical actions taken to improve married couples' sexual relationships such as connecting emotionally, helping with house chores and child rearing, appealing the husband's sexual attractiveness, or trying out diverse sexual actions may not help improve the situation at the fundamental level.
As couples are influenced by the men-centeredness focusing only on sexual pleasure in addressing sexual issues, the wife cannot but be damaged in her feelings. Women's feelings being destroyed means women's mind being destroyed, which leads women to pursue pleasure instead of love and happiness. Then, they may become the best sex partners since they pursue sexual pleasure based on strong sexual desire mistaking sexual pleasure for love and happiness. They would not care much about happiness of family and children any more. It is pity that so many experts advise couples to take destructive measures to solve sexual problems.
It is not to say at all that sexual pleasure is something you must not have or married couples should not enjoy sexual pleasure. It is not to advocate wives who refuse to have sex with their husbands. Having sex is the best gift god gave to human beings. You can achieve both happiness and sexual happiness when you accurately understand the operation mechanism and activate sexuality in the right and healthy way. Married couples have the right to enjoy sexual pleasure until the day they die.
The positive energy generated in xesmind provides energy and vitality for women's body and mind. When women form healthy xes habits in their xesmind, couples cannot become sexless. When women are tired from work and parenting, they can restore energy and vitality through having sex with their husbands. Women's true sex ability based on right xes habits allow women to reinforce love for their husbands and children as well as their own happiness.
Couples being sexless and the wife refusing to have sex are not even problems in and of themselves. They are not caused by relational issues, emotional issues, or physical issues. When the wife who doesn't understand the operational mechanism of human mind and sexuality has lost interest in having sex, it may indicate that she is having a happy and stable marriage life.
However, it would be ideal for women to understand how their mind and sexuality operate at the fundamental level and build true sex ability to achieve the highest level of happiness and sexual happiness in their marriage life.
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