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Today, I will talk about basic reference points to keep in mind in parenting. They are not anything new to most parents, but they cannot not be too emphasized in any parent-child relationship.
The first point is that parents must be healthy for children to be healthy. There is a saying that children are mirrors of parents. Children cannot grow healthy body and mind when parents don't have healthy body and mind. Parents must check whether they have healthy body and mind before they conclude that their children have problems. Parenting cannot be successful no matter how hard parents try if they are suffering from their own problems. On the other hand, if parents are healthy and happy, children can become happy in a healthy environment even if parents make some mistakes in parenting.
Secondly, children are not possessions of parents. Children are born with their own body and mind. Parents gave birth to them but they are not possessions of parents. Parents know this fact in the head, but they want children to follow their directions and become the person parents want. Of course, parents should guide children in the right direction. Negligence is even worse. However, many cases of parent-child conflicts are caused by parents who demand and force children to do as parents want. No one should command others' thoughts and behaviors. We can minimize conflicts with children when we consider children as the one and only agent in their own life and sincerely respect their thoughts and feelings.
Thirdly, parents should give children healthy attention. They should provide care and attention in the way children need and want not in the way parents want. They can pay attention to what children like and what difficulties they are going through instead of checking for whether they are doing what parents think is right and desirable. Most parents say that they are interested in children's condition, but paying attention based on parents' point of view can be burdensome to children.
Fourthly, parents must not compare their children with other children. There are no two people who have identical thoughts and feelings because everyone has their own unique life experiences and memories. Children have different ways and rates of physical and psychological development. Parents need to nurture children so that the can grow in their own ways and at their own rates. Projecting and forcing parents' ideas and desires into children's growth make both parents and children experience difficulties and conflicts. It is crucial for parents to try to find children's merits and strengths and provide a safe environment where they can grow in healthy ways.
The last point to be remembered is that parents need to have an accurate understanding of the growth process of children. Children go through different phases of development as they get older. Their psychology grows as their body grows and parents must be able to adopt right parenting strategies depending on children's age and the developmental phase. When parents adopt their own thought standards in parenting, conflicts cannot but occur. Children will complain that they can't communicate with parents and parents will worry that children don't listen to them.
I hope that all parents take consideration of these basic points of reference and become happy parents with happy children.
on child's psychological problem
Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/
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