6/21/2023

[Mother Therapy] Parents who make children keep a distance from them.

 

Would you like to stay close to people who always talk about how hard their life is, who is self-contained, and who always grumble and complain? You may listen to them and encourage them a few times at first, but then you are likely to try to keep a distance from such people. You may decide to stay close to them when you have some important business with them, but it may be still very difficult for you. The same applies to the parent-child relationship. 

When parents always get irritated, only talk about their difficulties, and even speak ill of their spouse, children will not want to stay close to such parents. They may feel uncomfortable and discontented when such incidents go on and on and never stop. They will try to stand their parents when they have some specific and practical purposes of staying close to such parents, but such a relationship cannot be a happy and healthy one between parents and children. 

No parent would consciously want to have such an awkward and distorted relationship with children. All parents want to share happiness and laugh together with children staying close to each other. 

Especially, mothers may easily express their negative feelings toward children and family unconsciously when they have unstable psychology. They are trying to get attention and stabilize their psychology. It is a natural phenomenon of attempting to treat their psychological wounds according to the operational mechanism of women's mind, but it may cause children to keep a distance from them. 

Then, what can mothers do to keep a good relationship with children? When parents just try to be nice to children when they actually feel depressed and frustrated, it may result in other types of adverse effect in parent-child relationship. Parents may be misunderstood by children or they become even more distant from each other. 

The most important thing in this situation is for parents to accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology including different developmental phases of child psychology and right parenting strategies. Changing parents' attitudes and behaviors at the surface level will not solve any problem. 

As parents accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and keep making efforts in the right way, they can develop and stabilize healthy and happy expressions to be seen by everyone. Then, children will naturally feel comfortable and happy around parents and want to stay close to them. Parents don't have to make conscious efforts to keep their children close to them because staying close to each other becomes so natural to all family members. 

Parent-child relationship is one of the most important human relationships. All parents are recommended that they first understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology and apply it to improve their relationship with children at the fundamental level. 

https://youtu.be/zyIsC039rPg

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