[SATW] Do you feel uncomfortable about fantasizing on having sex?


Many people fantasize during having sex. Men usually imagine about having free sex with different women, and women usually fantasize about trying new things with their regular partners or having secretive or passive sex. Fantasizing about having sex can make sexual actions more satisfying and induce more intense orgasm. That is why fantasizing is recommended or encouraged in some sex therapies. 

It is not impossible for a couple to realize their sexual fantasy in real situations. It may be hard to put sexual fantasy into practice at first. The couple may discuss issues regarding sexual actions and preferences and freely imagine about what they want, but it must be quite awkward to make the ideas into action.

Couples who want to try and succeed in realizing their sexual fantasies must have conversations each other, and share their ideas and feelings for months or even years to achieve sexual happiness together. 

Realizing sexual fantasy in having sex in real situations requires not only changing social and cultural prejudice, but also individuals' ideas on having sex. Changing one's ideas that have been held for the whole lifetime is not an easy task. 

Couples must be careful to apply sexual fantasies in real situations since everyone's ideas and preferences on having sex are quite different depending on the person's social and individual circumstances, and both men and women are quite sensitive about expressing sexuality. 

Even when the couple do not put sexual fantasies into action, having sexual fantasies can be a crucial element for pleasurable sex. Sexual fantasies are about diverse actions they have not tried in real situations, so having sexual fantasies itself can be an opportunity to explore diversity in having sex. 

When the couple can talk to each other about their sexual fantasies freely and comfortably, they can enjoy pleasure and satisfaction mentally as well as physically. One thing to be noted is that you must not comply with the partner's standards which do not accord with your own standards. Dependency necessarily leads to distorted sexuality and harms the body and the mind. Please, keep in mind that enjoying sex without your own standards and ideas will cause damage and wounds in your body and mind. 


                About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

Sex Ability Training for Women : http://www.sextraining.net/ 

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