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We usually think that sexual actions are specific set
of actions such as having sex involving a man and a woman being naked and
kissing and caressing, and involving penetration and ejaculation. People also
think that certain sexual actions are perverted, and thus, more stimulating
when they deviate from the prototypical form of sex.
For example, sexual actions in public places, with
certain clothes on, with ejaculation without penetration, or with penetration
without foreplay are all considered to be different and atypical. Such
variations can be limitless and it also indicates that sexual actions don’t seem to have
any criterion for defining what it is and what it is not. Actually, you can go
to the limit of your imagination in having sex with your partner as far as it
doesn’t hurt or damage anyone.
The fact that sexual actions don’t have
criteria that define and limit what it is indicates that sexual actions may not
have the beginning and end. Every action can be a sexual action when you and
your partner perceive that what you are doing is a sexual action. It doesn’t necessarily have
to involve penetration or ejaculation, which are only a very small part of
having sex.
Thus, sexual actions that focus on penetration and
ejaculation minimize the pleasure of sex. Masturbation accompanied by wild
imagination may give you more pleasure and satisfaction than having sex with
limited concepts and actions. In other words, you may not be able to have more
pleasure through having sex with a partner than through masturbation unless you
can enjoy the whole process before and after penetration and ejaculation. On
the contrary, if you can enjoy the whole process of being together with the
partner, you can live feeling as if you were having sex every moment of
everyday.
Especially in case of women, they connect feelings
they experience from sexual actions with feelings they have in daily life.
Women can learn how to generate positive feelings they experience from having
sex on their own whenever they want. Women are affected by feelings activated
in having sex much more than by physical stimulations on sensory organs in
having sex. Women feel completely different about sexual actions not depending
on what stimulations they get on the body but depending on what feelings are
activated by sexual actions. Women’s sexual actions are emotional instead of
physical and the amplification of women’s feelings has
no limit. Women-centered sexual actions have no limit and men can also enjoy
limitless pleasure when they follow women-centered sexual actions.
We all make expressions in daily life through speech,
actions, and facial expressions. We make all the above similar expressions in
having sex, too, but daily expressions and expressions in having sex are
recognized differently depending on whether we perceive the specific situation
to be sexual or not. If you perceive a situation to be sexual even when it is
supposed to be daily, you may recognize all the counterparty’s speech,
actions, and facial expressions as sexual expressions. If both parties perceive
the situation to be sexual, they are considered to be making sexual actions
with each other. All their expressions can count as foreplay or afterplay as
parts of sexual actions even without penetration and ejaculation.
When you confine the concept of having sex to
penetration and ejaculation and focus on them in having sex, you may lose all
the richness of sexuality by limiting the scope and depth of sexual pleasure
with your own hands. On the other side of the coin, it must be clearly
understood that any daily situation can be perceived as being sexual by
someone, which can lead to a situation of sexual harassment and sex crime, you
being a victim or a perpetrator.
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