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Most modern societies consider infidelity,
prostitution, swapping, threesome or group sex of married people as immoral or
illegal. Why would the society regulate individuals’ sexual activities if sexuality is personal
and instinctual by nature?
In case of men, their instinct doesn’t restrict sex partners only to the spouse
since men do not connect sexuality with the operation of mind. Men learn to
think that they have to restrict sex partners only to women they love and
protect in the socialization process. Men also accept only new sexual
information in their xesmind without conscious recognition. They are automatically
and instantly attracted to unfamiliar and pretty women passing by in the street
even when they are with women who they are truly in love with.
On the other hand, women feel uncomfortable when they
perceive new and unfamiliar sexual information. They are also much slower than
men in perceiving information of men they see for the first time. Thus, as a
couple stay together for a long time, the man perceives less and less sexual
information from the woman partner, but the woman perceives more and more
sexual information from the man partner. The man becomes so poor at recognizing
any change in the woman and the woman becomes so good at detecting even a small
change in the man.
We are born into a certain culture and custom that is
regulated by the society. We learn to pursue harmony and order of the society
as well as individual’s freedom and right. Our psychology develops in accordance with the social
norm, custom, and law. People who have normal psychology naturally accord with
social, moral, and cultural standards. If extramarital intercourse is
considered as a norm in a society, thinking that it is no problem is also
considered to be normal psychologically, since they are born and raised in
accordance with the specific social custom and culture.
In other societies where extramarital intercourse is unacceptable socially and culturally, such as a society that takes monogamy as a norm, thinking extramarital intercourse is abnormal is considered to be psychologically normal. If you start thinking you can ignore social norm to achieve sexual pleasure, or having sex with someone who is not your spouse is OK, it indicates that you are developing a psychological disorder. Furthermore, if you actually have extramarital intercourse, it indicates that you are in an advanced condition of a psychological disorder.
When you have a psychological
disorder, you have a strong conviction of your own ideas, and you justify your
thoughts and behaviors. You ignore or strongly disagree on socially accepted
customs and laws that exist for harmony and order. You may become good at using
sophistry and blame the society for your problems.
Many people think that
infidelity, prostitution, swapping, and group sex are all different, but all of
them are based on and caused by psychological disorders. Sexual actions of any
kind don’t carry value
judgment in themselves. We cannot say one sexual action is right and another is
wrong in itself. However, human societies and human relationships put meanings
on sexual actions. That is, sexual actions are strongly connected with human
mind and activating sexuality generates powerful energy in human mind. Humans
produce the sense of ownership, feelings of love, and the desire for happiness,
which becomes the basis of the most important constituent of the society,
family.
Sexuality itself is personal and instinctual, but you
must not activate sexuality out of the context of your society, culture, and
circumstance. Sexuality must not be activated only as a means of getting
pleasure. The issue of extramarital intercourse also must be discussed not from
the perspective of individuals and instincts but from the perspective of humans
who live together and human mind that is intertwined with the operation of
sexuality. Sexuality is only one of many human instincts that we yield and
restrain for living together with others in harmony and order. Justifying
extramarital intercourse in the society where it is not accepted is a clear
sign of a psychological disorder.
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