Psychology
of a person and that of a person in relationships (PIR) are different. A person
lives only as oneself; since the person's perceptions, memories, thoughts, and
expressions are not related to others at all, his or her psychology that
pursues only his or her happiness and the free life operates. However, a PIR
lives in relationships with others; the PIR's perceptions, memories, thoughts,
and expressions are related to others. This PIR's psychology pursues the
happiness of self-actualization and harmony with others. PIRs are separated
into males and females; thus, the happiness of PIR and self-actualization must
also be separated into males and females.
Males
strengthen the passion of immersing in fun and pursue future happiness with the
desire for achievement. At this point, future happiness is the happiness that
desires for self-actualization of social values, values of human relationships,
economic values, etc. So, males live with passion and achievement for values of
self and make a valuable life through work. Thus, the moods of fun are
important for males.
They
do not feel fun at home because it is the place where they can feel comfortable
and happy. They become relaxed as they get present happiness. On the contrary,
they feel fun when they are outside for work because they find values of life. For
males, future happiness is something they can actualize with vague hopes and
anticipation. Since it does not exist in the present, they do not feel present
happiness. They work dreaming future happiness for a valuable life even if they
feel difficult. Not only working but also studying, making connections wider,
making efforts to earn more money are all the same things. These are things
they want to achieve with the passion, dreaming future happiness for values of
life.
Male's future happiness is not just vague. It is possible
to make it come true, at least from their point of view, but females think
males talking about the future are not realistic and cannot feel it either.
However, males can also feel enough present happiness. It is when they are in a
daze and they spend time without thinking. When they do not think and perceive
and when they do not need passion and achievement, they as well feel present
happiness and they don't really pursue future happiness. Because of these
reasons, males tend to not think when watching TV at home. Watching TV has
nothing to do with their future happiness; they don't need to think about it in
order to feel present comfort. They pursue future happiness outside and stop
thinking when they get back home as they feel stable and comfortable.
If males feel their home uncomfortable, they won't be
able to become comfortable and get stress arising from many thoughts.
Therefore, if they are in a daze at home, it means that the house has become a
happy place for them. It's just that males cannot perceive this. They live pursuing future happiness; they feel that they
are living valuable lives when they do things to create values of life by
immersing in the fun.
Females try to obtain present happiness with love that
immerses in good emotions. She thinks female's love is not only an intimate
relationship but also making an accomplishment in something by immersing
herself in work, exercise, hobby, study, etc. Thus, it does not have to ve
man's love. For example, if a female teacher heard from her students that they
thank her after they become successful, she feels teaching is a rewarding job
and perceives it as that she's receiving love. Like this, if a female receives
love and gets maternal love, which is the love given as a wife and as a mother,
her present is going to be happy. Females constantly make efforts to become
happy if the present is not happy.
A female feels present happiness if she feels happy from
the love received from a male, the love given to husband as a wife, and the
love given to children as a mother. This means that she gets stress and wounds
when she doesn't receive love from a male, when her love as a wife is either
rejected or evaded by her husband and when her love as a mother is either
rejected or evaded by her children.
Males tend to get stress when they do things that they
don't want to do anymore as their passion fades away. Also, when their desires
to achieve their goals and future happiness are frustrated by the current
situation, they get a lot of stress even when there is no vague possibility. Males become unable to do self-actualization if problems occur in
passion, achievement, and future happiness, they receive stress a lot as if
they've lost values of their lives. Shortly saying, they get stress from work
they are doing.
On the other hand, females are not affected by stress
related to work that much. It is because they cannot avoid stress generated as
they pursue passion, achievement, and happiness, but can treat the stress at
home. They can heal their stress by the love received from a male, the husband,
the love given to the husband, and the love given to children. However, if they
cannot be healed at home, wounds will be generated resulting in problems in the
mind. Due to this, rather than getting stress from work, they are wounded when
they get back home if they see their children throwing tantrums or getting
angry, the house being messy, or the husband just staying in a daze. Females'
wounds are mostly generated at home like this.
Males tend to relieve stress received from work before
they get back home where they are comfortable by hanging out with
acquaintances, coworkers, or friends. However, females heal their stress at
home even if they had a difficult day at work, which is the reason they don't
like to join a company dinner. All of these mentioned above are because males
and females are different in the pursuit of happiness, the way they work, and
the method for healing stress.
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