A Person in Relationships and Family

 

           Family relationships mean a lot to a person in relationships (PIR). Have you ever thought deeply about what a family means to males and females? People don't really think of analyzing the meanings of the family from the viewpoint of the mind. Family is the base of human relationships; the husband-wife relationship, parent-child relationship, and relationships of siblings are formed. Family relationships for a meaningful life and those for a valuable life exist together at the same time. So, family relationships as PIR are very important.

           Each individual lives as a person, but the person pursues self-actualization in human relationships that are formed with others. This is why you were just told that a family relationship is the basis of human relationships. Father, mother, husband, wife, children, and siblings exist as a person when each stay as an individual, but family relationships are created as they live as PIR.

           Let's talk about what family is to males. To males, the family is the love of the unconscious. Males protect and become responsible for counterparties with the love of the unconscious. Males cannot answer clearly when they are asked what love is. They know they love their family, but they cannot think of how to express love. Their love is not something that can be expressed. So, when they are asked what they love in detail, their answers are usually 'do I really have to say in words?' or 'I love everything.' By doing so, they also think about what love is. It is a very natural phenomenon for a male if he has the love of the unconscious normally. It is not the love that is felt with the conscious but 'the love of the unconscious' that has been formed unknowingly. If a male answer what love is without hesitation, it is not the love of the unconscious but what he thinks love is. Male's love is to protect and be responsible for his counterparty unlimitedly. No matter how much you fight, no matter how angry or unwilling you are, you cannot get away from the loving relationship because you must protect and be responsible for your counterparties unlimitedly.

A male becomes angry if his wife and children face difficulties or get wounded. It is because he couldn't protect and be responsible for them. It must be understood that he gets angry not to his wife and children but to himself because he blames himself. This 'love of the unconscious,' which is unlimited protection and responsibility is unconditional, limitless, and without any purpose. He lives with the unconscious love that was formed unknowingly until the day he dies. This love is never formed again once it is formed. Therefore, a marriage is called a grave to males.

Therefore, males must protect their love and try to keep themselves stable and relaxed. They think their families would also have the happiness of self-actualization if they get the happiness of self-actualization by making economic values, values of human relationships, and social values. They make money for their families' comfortable and stable lives by their unconscious love of protection and responsibility. So, they sacrifice present happiness and pursue family happiness through future happiness. All they need is their families' happiness. If males have problems in their work and if the problems from work cause other problems in passion, achievement, and future happiness, they worry about their families first and get stressed. 

Like this, males treat their families as themselves, but there are males cutting off their families. These people were less than 1% in the past, but the number is increasing recently. They abandon their families when they face difficulties thinking that their families are dragging themselves down. Our society pursues more knowledge and economics than the mind resulting in devastated mind. In the end, society is making us abandon the most precious value for one's own fun.

          Man’s love is formed by identifying his family as himself in the unconscious. A man thinks his family as if they are himself unconsciously. He doesn't think of his family with the conscious. Rather, he has the unconscious love that operates unknowingly, has the meanings of life and pursues values by working.

           On the contrary, females are different from males. A female forms a family by receiving love as a woman from a man, the husband and giving love as a wife and a mother. So, she directly feel love of receiving; love of giving is the operation of maternal love, which is the love of the unconscious. Maternal love is stronger than love of receiving because the unconscious is prior to the conscious. Maternal love is the same as the male's 'love of the unconscious.' If a female suffers from a psychological disorder, she loses her maternal love, which is the unconscious, because she prioritizes the love she receives over maternal love. Also, her happiness as a wife and a mother is lost.

           Therefore, when looking at family relationships, whether a man has 'the love of the unconscious' or not and whether a woman has 'maternal love' or not must be analyzed accurately. No matter how messed up a family relationship may seem, the two things just mentioned must be analyzed, even if the family seems to be rich and honorable. No matter which situation a man or a female is in, the family relationships can be restored if the man has 'the love of the unconscious' and if the woman has 'maternal love.' It's just that both 'the love of the unconscious' and 'maternal love' are formed in the unconscious. Thus, they cannot be felt by a thought, which is the conscious, resulting in many conflicts and misunderstandings between men and women. 

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