Many people think that the cause of infidelity is problems of marriage, love and sex. They think that once they resolve issues they are facing right in front of them, they will recover and become happy. Korea Institute of Psycho-education has discovered through years of research that the cause of husband infidelity is relationship addiction or response addiction, with which the husband becomes addicted to the adulteress's responses, and the cause of wife infidelity is relationship addiction or attention addiction, with which the wife becomes addicted to the adulterer's attention. It has also discovered that the victimized spouse develops post traumatic stress upon the discovery of spouse infidelity.
Many victimized wives do not understand the nature of husband infidelity and do not recognize that they have developed post traumatic stress. They usually only try to resolve issues they feel they have to deal with urgently in order to recover their life. However, unfortunately, they are likely to go through phases that eventually ruin their life unless they are properly treated.
At first, the wife experiences excruciating pain upon the discovery of husband infidelity. When the level of general wounds is -10 in a metaphorical sense, the level of wounds due to post traumatic stress is -100,000 or more. Those who think they have had a happy marriage are more likely to suffer from unfathomable psychological pain. They may advance to the second phase when they try to solve the issues they are facing in a practical and rational way.
In the second phase, the wife may try to find ways to get out of pain and restore comfort. Most ways of getting out of pain and restoring comfort are temporary diversions and they actually feel better for the moment. However, the level of wounds becomes even more severe as they continue with attempts for relieving pain through temporary diversions. They may find it extremely difficult to stay in pain without doing anything for diversion. In this phase, the condition of post traumatic stress has advanced and they begin to develop different types of psychological disorders in perception, memory, and expression, from which recovery becomes more difficult than in the first phase. They may become convinced that they cannot or do not want to go back to the past and try to live a new life. Not understanding the nature of post traumatic stress, they may believe that they can leave behind the pain and decide to live happily in their own ways.
In the third phase, they do their best to build self-confidence and find ways to live a pleasurable life. Their speech and actions change and pleasure becomes their life goal. They do not feel psychological pain any more. The problem here is that they need as high level of pleasure as the severity of wounds. As they seek more and more pleasure, their post traumatic stress worsens even more. They may simply explode upon the slightest trigger of stress and wounds, experiencing incidents of hysteria. They may alternate between seeking pleasure and exploding with hysteria aggravating the condition. Eventually, they may end up seeking pleasure at the expense of others' rights and happiness.
In phase 4, they develop psychological disorders in all 3 components of psychology : perception, memory, and expression. They will do anything to seek pleasure in their own ways at the expense of other's rights and happiness. When they think that the counterparty has triggered stress and wounds in them, they may do anything to attack and hurt them. They may hurt their own family and even commit crimes.
When post traumatic stress due to husband infidelity is not treated properly, the wife who suffers from pain may grow wounds as time goes by, and follow the process described above eventually ruining their life and the life of their loved ones.
Time, effort, and expense needed for the treatment of post traumatic stress may be trivial compared with the cost they have to pay for not treating and becoming a pleasure seeker and hysteric. It is urged that anyone who is suffering form post traumatic stress due to husband infidelity should choose to restore happiness in a true sense through proper treatment.
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