6/23/2021

I am surrounded with people who have extra marital affairs. What should I do?


Q : I have a close friend; her husband and my husband are friends too. She told me her story after she knew my husband's infidelity. When I told her about treatment, she said she wants to get treated too. In her case, both she and her husband are having extramarital affairs with each one's partner. How is she supposed to get the treatment? Is she possible to be treated?

Before I told her about the treatment, she said 'why don't you just enjoy your life? he (my husband) gives you living expenses anyway, doesn't he?' I think I need to keep myself away from my husband's friends. Hearing what they say seems to make my treatment delayed.

A : If you see your friend's situation, the couple has each one's partner having extramarital affair with. What you need to focus on at this point is that she told you about her infidelity. Her purpose of confessing her infidelity to you is either one of the following: first is that she really wants to get treated, or second is that she wants you to have infidelity too so that she can have and share the fun with you. Or, she might really feel the need for treatment. However, if she really wanted to get treated, she would have made contact and started her treatment. Of course, she can be treated if she really wants, but she doesn't seem like she wants to get the treatment when seeing her not asking you details about the treatment even if you told her about it. Also, what you need to keep in mind is that her problem is none of your business to care and give advice. Making own judgment and decision is up to her. Instead, you must focus on treating yourself and making the ability of happiness. Do not care about her. Her trauma will seep into you as soon as you listen to her story. Since your husband and her husband are friends, the trauma caused by infidelity will become doubled or tripled. Just make a reference to this. 

As mentioned above, your friend's case is either one or the other. She is trying to make you just like her by tempting you to have infidelity as she does. Especially, if she said to you 'enjoy your life,' she is not thinking of getting treatment at all. Thus, keep a distance from her until you get recovered. If you see her after having the ability of happiness, you will be able to notice how miserable her life is. 

 https://youtu.be/qcfcHuv7RkU




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