Korea Institute of Psycho-education: The psychology of failure

Everyone wants success and no one wants failure. However, many people do not understand the concepts of success and failure accurately and people sometimes mistake success for failure and vice versa. Usually, we think that success is to accomplish what we set as the goal. Of course, everyone has their own unique standards on what their goals are. It is usually considered as a failure when you have not reached your goal and given up on pursuing the goal.

Many people have dichotomous thinking about success and failure and they think they have failed when they have not reached the final goal. However, the concept of success and failure needs to incorporate the process of pursuing the goal as well as the result. Excluding the process and focusing only on the result leads to the false concept of success and failure. Success or failure in your life is determined not only by the result but also by every moment when you make efforts to obtain the result. Evaluation of your success in life must reflect all your experiences including both negative and positive ones.

Problems occur when you evaluate success in life only based on the result excluding the process since it means that you can become a successful person no matter how you achieve the goal. All human beings pursue success throughout their life, and pursuing success and self-actualization is meaningful and important in and of itself. Even if you go through difficult times on the way to success, they are also valuable moments of your life. If you focus only on the result excluding the process, you are likely to develop psychological problems during the process of pursuing the goal and after you achieve the goal and stop the process of pursuing. With this respect, it is crucial that you set another new goal and start pursing and making efforts based on your achievement when you think that you have achieved your goal.

All people go through difficulties in the process of pursuing success and self-actualization, and they may want and try to avoid difficult situations. However, it must be understood that it is only natural that we always go through difficulties in the process of pursuing success as far as we make efforts to create, change, complement, and improve. Human beings are supposed to endlessly encounter difficulties and feel joy and happiness each time they overcome difficulties.

When you do not include the concept of the process in the pursuit of success, you can easily conclude that you or others have failed in life when the desired result is not achieved. Also, you may have the goal and the desire for success, but you may not want to make efforts and go through difficulties. It must always be kept in mind that you fail not when you give up on the result, but when you give up on the process. When the distorted concept of success focusing only on the result prevails in the society, distorted ways of pursuing success without making efforts such as speculation or blackmail may also prevail in the society.

Success based on your own efforts and success based on distorted process or by luck are completely different. If you succeeded based on distorted process or by luck, you are rather considered to have failed. Whether your life is successful or not is determined only when you end your life, and if you have lived your life constantly making efforts for your goal, you are considered to have succeeded in you life. Such people can be said to have set an example for the next generation. From the perspective of human beings' pursuit of happiness and self-actualization, the dichotomous thinking about success and failure only based on the result cannot exist. Actually, the process of making efforts to achieve success is more meaningful and important than the result.