Q. I am in my late 40's and my husband passed away 10 years ago. I feel comfortable now and everything is fine in my life, but my parents and children recommend remarriage. I have not even seen any man in years now, but my family think that I need a marriage relationship for my later years. Will I feel lonely when I get old without a husband?
A. It is not true that everyone becomes lonely as they get older without a spouse. You can live a perfectly happy life by yourself. When people experience the bereavement of their spouse, many of them live getting immersed into their children and career. You may have suffered from the bereavement in the past, but feel comfortable now after 10 years, which is a very natural phenomenon. If you feel that everything is fine in your life, there is nothing much to worry about.
From children's point of view, they may feel that you look lonely and need more for your own life. They may think that you have sacrificed your life for them and for career. They may be worried that you will become lonely when you retire and children leave home. They may even try to introduce men to you.
The point to be noted here is that you have the psychology of bereavement, with which you have kept your husband in your mind and memories as the basis of your life even after he passed away. When children grow and leave you, you may naturally feel lonely, but you can find other things to do and it does not necessarily have to be remarriage or meeting men.
You need to prepare for your later years when you will be alone, though. Otherwise, you will definitely feel lonely and empty, which may lead to psychological difficulties. Your family will not recommend remarriage anymore when they know that you are making plans for later years and preparing for a happy life in the future.
It is also possible that you will become lonely in the future and become interested in remarriage. Then, it is important that you meet and remarry the right man whose psychology is healthy without pathological conditions such as psychological disorders or post traumatic stress. Getting involved with men who have unstable psychology will damage your life greatly. Also, you yourself must transfer from the psychology of bereavement to the psychology of remarriage when you decide to remarry. Staying in the psychology of bereavement even after remarriage will also damage your life and your new husband's life.
Apply for Free Consultation on Remarriage
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/
No comments:
Post a Comment