7/28/2021

[On divorce] I am curious about the psychology of divorce. I am not sure whether I have to stay in marriage or get a divorce.

You may be interested in the psychology of divorce since you are thinking about getting a divorce. You may feel that life after divorce will be better than life with unhappy marriage. However, people who are still in marriage relationship should not and do not have to learn about the psychology of divorce. It is hard to understand the psychology of divorce without experiencing divorce, and you may fall for arbitrary interpretation and distorted ideas destroying your psychology. 

When you maintain your marriage relationship having a divorce in mind, difficulties in marriage may be felt as being greater since you are only thinking about the divorce without having the psychology of divorce. It is more important to form the psychology of divorce inside you after a divorce rather than simply understanding what the psychology of divorce is without experiencing it.  

You definitely need to learn about and form the psychology of divorce if you are already divorced. However, learning about the psychology of divorce while staying in marriage will only aggravate your psychology and marriage relationship. Also, if you get a divorce just as a way of avoiding the present difficult situation, you will definitely experience psychological difficulties since you do not know about how to live happily after divorce. 

There are two ways to approach the problem. One is to decide to stay in marriage and find ways to live happily in marriage relationship without thinking about divorce, and the other is to decide to get a divorce. Most people who keep thinking about divorce during marriage end up getting a divorce since it is very painful to keep thinking about divorce without forming the psychology of divorce. 

It must be kept in mind that the psychology of divorce is formed only after getting a divorce. If you are suffering from the current marriage relationship, you must first decide whether you want to maintain marriage after solving current problems or you definitely want to get a divorce. After you decide to get a divorce, you must transfer to the psychology of divorce. It is difficult and undesirable to discuss the psychology of divorce while you are staying in a marriage relationship. 

It is recommended that you stop being curious about the psychology of divorce for now. You may first consult on marriage problems and then decide whether you want to keep this marriage or get a divorce. If you decide to get a divorce for sure, then you can transfer to the psychology of divorce.


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  Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/    

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