There's an old saying that goes, ‘Habits
formed at age three stay with you to age eighty.’ This means that psychological
habits formed during childhood and adolescence are with us for life. Children
and adolescents have the right to be safe and have the right to form healthy
psychological habits. What does the future hold for children and adolescents if
healthy psychological habits are not formed and dependency habits are formed?
Dependency is the habit of relying on the words
and actions of others. Children and adolescents who have developed habits of
dependency are likely to follow the words and actions of others. They may grow
up to be good children who listen to their parents, teachers, and other adults.
They don't have confidence in their own words and actions, so they tolerate by
following others rather than asserting themselves.
Children and adolescents develop
dependency when their caregivers are overprotective, coercive, controlling, or
interfering. Children and adolescents form healthy psychological habits through
trial and error by solving problems and recovering from them on their own.
However, if they lose the right to form healthy psychological habits and others
recognize their trial and error as a problem and always solve the problem for
them, they are unable to form their own healthy psychological habits.
As a result, they feel comfortable only
living the way others want them to live, so they do what others tell them to
do. As a result, they form the habit of being dependent on others. Once you
have developed this habit of dependency, you're not only dependent on your
caregivers, but on everyone else in your life. This can lead to a lifetime of
struggle without developing self-directed relational habits, emotional habits,
and thinking habits.
In
order to correct dependency habits in children and adolescents, caregivers need
to understand the rights of children and adolescents to be kept safe and to
form healthy psychological habits, and to apply the right parenting methods to
help children and adolescents form healthy psychological habits. In particular,
when addressing psychological habits in children and adolescents as well as in
adults, self-help methods that do not involve psychological counseling are
necessary because psychological counseling can aggravate psychological habits.
By applying the right parenting method or
self-help method, children and adolescents will form their own healthy relational
habits, emotional habits, and thinking habits while preventing or eliminating
dependency habits. They will also form their own stress healing habits, wound treating
habits, and problem-solving habits. Korea Institute of Psycho-education helps
children and adolescents form healthy psychological habits by providing Mother Therapy,
Father Therapy, and self-help programs such as Youth Mind Training and KIP Mind
Training.
https://youtu.be/ZwQ0u1t_kII?si=K6ck1CFOYMYxWb_w
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