Ability is the power to solve problems on your own. You are not born with abilities but you must build them with will power and efforts of your own. When you have abilities, you will do your best to solve problems by motivating yourself without giving up or avoiding. You must start by building basic abilities to solve small problems on your own to build greater abilities.
A baby who crawls will try to stand up and walk when time comes. When the mother keeps helping the baby with standing up every time he or she falls, the baby will not be able to build the ability to stand up on his or her own. The mother may help the baby a few times at first, but should let the baby control on his or her own just by watching. The baby will build confidence as he or she repeats falling and standing. When the baby has fully built confidence, he or she has built the ability to stand up. Knowing that he or she can stand up on his or her own, the baby will try to walk as the next stage. The baby has set the goal, made efforts continuously, built the ability, and achieved the goal.
You need a specific and feasible goal to build the ability be it standing up, walking, or running. You may give up easily when the goal is too high and keeping will power and making efforts are too difficult. Also, memory plays an important part in building abilities. Knowledge, information, and experiences are combined in memory. You will acquire and accumulate knowledge and information that accord with your goal, which will be stored in your memory. Then, you will think about how to make use of your knowledge and information to achieve the goal. As you repeat this whole process, you will build habits of creativity, which is the core component that allows you to achieve the goal.
When you have your own ideas based on acquired knowledge and information, you are to pursue your goal and take actions. You cannot achieve anything if you just think and worry without taking actions, whether they bring about good or bad results. Abilities are built in the process of trial and error taking actions, experiencing failures, and correcting strategies. You should also build the power to overcome failures through experiencing trial and error. You will accumulate experiences by analyzing the past trials and errors and complimenting strategies.
You must believe in your own thought and go for it rather than just staying in the fear of failure. No success comes without trial and error. If you get lucky and succeed from only one trial, you will also collapse easily since you do not actually have the ability. You don't have to despair upon failure since it will serve as nutrients for the future success. Abilities are built when you make continuous efforts towards the goal with will power and habits of success.
As you pursue self-actualization in human relationships, you are to face small and big problems repeatedly. When you confront and solve relational problems instead of giving up or avoiding, you will also build your own ability to solve problems. As you experience many trials and errors, you will have more thought standards and adequately deal with stress and psychological wounds. You will become confident and positive upon facing problems maintaining strong driving force.
Teenagers, who are in the phase of the formation of self-identity, must be allowed to take as many trials and errors as possible to be able to build their own thought standards and values through experiences. As parents keep protecting teenagers overly and decide for them, they will be deprived of opportunities to build their own abilities and end up developing dependency.
Stress and psychological wounds are necessary in the pursuit of self-actualization in human relationships. You will develop psychological problems when you do not have the ability for recovery upon experiencing stress and wounds. This ability must also be built through your own experiences. You should learn what negative and positive situations can happen, how to deal with them, and how to read and judge others' expressions and behaviors. As you accumulate experiences in human relationships, you will build the ability to adequately address and overcome relational problems, raising the probability of success in both relationships and work and social life.
Abilities are not inborn talent. Abilities are built through making continuous efforts toward the goal keeping the will power. Success will follow as you set your own goal, accumulate knowledge and information that accord with the goal, and keep making efforts experiencing trials and errors. Then, one day, you will be smiling at your past life looking back on every path you took. This is self-actualization and happiness of human life.
All successful people have their own habits of success. That is, the habits of success result in the ability of success. However, the ability of success in one area should not be considered as the ability in other areas. When you set a new goal in a new area after succeeding in one area, you must start from the bottom by accumulating knowledge and information, building habits of success, and experiencing trials and errors as you already did in the area of your success.
Different attitudes and values will determine different types of abilities even with identical knowledge and experiences. Some people will work hard in one area to achieve the expertise itself. Others will work hard in the same area to pursue financial success. The former will build the ability to become an expert, and the latter will build the ability to make money through the expertise.
No great knowledge will lead you to success unless you take actions. No great experiences will lead you to creativity without knowledge and information. If you are already in your 40's and you don't have any basic ability, you can just start today by setting your own goal, acquiring knowledge and information, building habits of success by taking actions and correcting strategies based on trials and errors. You will naturally build abilities as you keep making efforts and one day you will find you are a successful person in your own way and you will smile at yourself and your life.
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