Men’s mind and women’s mind operate completely differently. Therefore, a man and a woman in a close relationship necessarily develop conflicts and disputes. This is all due to the fact that neither party understands that the counterparty's mind operates differently and both argue only for their own position.
Psychological manifestation changes depending on situations and environments. Many people think that the counterparty is a capricious person and develop misunderstanding based on arbitrary interpretation.
For example, suppose that a couple is on a vacation and has just arrived at the hotel room.
W : Ugh... This is quite different from what I expected.
M : At least, the view of the ocean is great. We can’t move to another place now. Let’s just relax and have fun.
W: I don’t care about the view. I planned to take a ton of pictures in the room. This is so old and dull. I just want to go home.
The man does his best to make the woman feel better but she keeps complaining. Then, the man makes diverse speech, actions, and facial expressions just to get out of the situation. He could try harder and take her out to enjoy other things, but he may display anger or just disappear. Then, the woman assumes that the man has changed and doesn’t love her anymore, feeling deeply hurt. The fact is that his feelings toward her have not changed even a bit but manifestations of his psychology change moment by moment.
Men’s mind operates to avoid or remove stress and women’s mind operates to accommodate stress and transforms it into wounds in memory. Men’s display of anger or avoidance is simply the result of attempting to get out of stress. Women cannot understand this mechanism and generate wounds on their own based on arbitrary interpretation.
The operation of human mind does not change from birth to death but the manifestation of psychology changes moment by moment in forms of speech, actions, and facial expressions. We are all to misunderstand others’ thoughts and emotions when we do not accurately understand the operational mechanism of mind and psychology.
Different thoughts and emotions cause stress and wounds in relationships. In such cases, it is recommended that you stop interacting with each other and heal your own stress and wounds separately.
When stress and wounds continue and are neglected, psychological problems get aggravated and develop into psychological disorders.
Women’s mind decides to block memories of emotions when the amount of accumulated wounds exceeds the capacity for accommodation. This is manifested as the disorder of memory of emotions or depression. The root cause of depression is accumulated wounds and it can be treated by forming habits of wound treatment.
Men’s mind develops neurotic conditions not to perceive stress anymore when it cannot remove or avoid stress. This is manifested as perception disorder such as panic disorder, anxiety disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. The root cause of perception disorder is stress and it can be treated by forming habits of healing stress in healthy ways.
The disorder of memory of emotions in women and perception disorder in men occur in order to prevent psychology from being excessively activated in any one component among perception, memory, and expression losing balance.
Balanced psychology leads to stable emotions and losing balance in psychology leads to unstable emotions or psychological problems or disorders. Manifestations of psychology change moment by moment, so temporary change of psychology is not appropriate or applicable to treat psychological disorders. Adjustment at the level of mind, which consists of the conscious and the unconscious, does not change depending on situations, and fundamentally affect the manifestation of psychology, is necessary to treat psychological disorders.
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