[Mother Therapy] How can I teach my teenage son to manage allowance?


     Q. My teenage boy spends away allowance within a week regardless of the amount of money. I would like to know if I have to give him weekly allowance and how much money is appropriate. 

     A. We must first ask ourselves why parents would give allowance. It is probably because parents want to have children build the right concept of money and learn how to spend money in an appropriate way. 

     When your boy was younger, he must have asked for money every time he needed money for specific purposes. Then, as he grows, he gets allowance and spends money by his own planning. He has never managed allowance before so he must be less organized in spending money and may spend all the allowance in a short time. Then, he has to spend some time without money and experience inconvenience. He may experience diverse trials and errors such as asking parents for more allowance or even losing money sometimes. 

     From parent's point of view, the child's way of managing allowance is so clumsy and worrisome. He may be spending money on unnecessary things or look thoughtless in money management. Then, parents may try to change the pattern and the rule of giving allowance to the child. 

     You can make reference to other families around you for how much money is appropriate and the term of giving allowance. Of course, the final decision must accord with your family's situation and ideas on money management. You must also discuss how allowance will be given with your boy since your boy is a teenager, who is in the process of forming his own thought standards and would not comply unless he can understand everything from his own point of view. You must not simply impose your standards on your teenage boy to prevent him from generating unnecessary stress.         

     When you accurately understand children's psychological development and the right parenting methods, you will be able to adopt appropriate way to give him allowance with reference to other families around you and guide him to manage allowance in the right way. 

     It is natural and important for teenagers to experience trials and errors in the process of forming their own thought standards. Parents must provide the right environment for building the right thought standards for children. Mother Therapy guides mothers to learn about children's psychological development and the right parenting methods so that mothers can provide children with the right environment for forming healthy thought standards making trials and errors. 


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