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Q. My 13-year-old daughter seems to have become a troubled adolescent. She behaves so differently that I have a hard time adapting myself to the situation. She smokes and goes late for school. I try to talk to her but she slams the door on me, and constantly talks with her friends on the phone in her room. I am divorced and a single mother. She is the only hope and meaning in my life, but these day, I feel I am lost. I don't know what to do and feel frustrated.
A. A 13-year-old daughter is in the phase of forming thought standards in the psychological development. She gets stressed and wounded when she cannot understand the situation based on her own knowledge and experience.
You may be busy as a single mother from working and parenting. You have done your best to provide a good environment for your daughter, but your daughter's unexpected behaviors make you feel disappointed and bewildered. You may try to talk to her adopting your own standards, but you are likely to express your own wounds in mimind in the process, and your daughter cannot easily understand your thought standards.
The mother must understand that the girl is in the process of forming her own thought standards. The mother must try to understand the daughter's situation from the daughter's point of view instead of trying to make her understand the mother's point of view. When the mother has many wounds in mimind and unstable psychology, she is likely to try to find her own comfort in the relationship with the daughter, and the daughter may feel burdened by the situation.
What the daughter needs is the mother who provides warm caring and attention instead of the mother who looks to her for comfort and consolation. It is your daughter who needs your attention without projecting your psychological instability. To approach to your daughter naturally, you can start by just casually talking about daily life during dinner time, and listen to her about her school life and friends. Your daughter will talk less and less to you if you keep trying to talk about her problematic behaviors with a serious tone.
Mother Therapy guides mothers to learn about children's psychological development, and adopt the right treatment method and parenting strategies in daily life. It leads to building happiness for both mothers and children. By taking Mother Therapy, you will be able to help your daughter solve psychological problems, and build happiness ability on her own instead of wasting time and effort by trying to solve individual problems every time they occur.
on child's psychological problem
Mother Therapy : https://www.mothertherapy.net/
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