[Review] Composure and happiness

 

I feel composed since I let go of the obsession for treatment. I was surprised that I felt calm and happy listening to my favorite music for the first time after I suffered from post traumatic stress. I was in the 17th week of treatment.

Then, in the 22nd week of treatment, I experienced that I had an open mind while I was talking with my daughter. Words of pray just came out of my mouth, and I could even read books comfortably. I felt that I was finally resting after flying for miles and miles. 

I could smile in a stressful situation. My daughter praised me for keeping calm in such a situation. It felt like another me was looking over all three of us from above. It was like my unconscious directed by speech and behaviors in certain ways. I could listen to my daughter talking about her problems with a smile. 

My condition improved at a fast rate after I had a consultation session. I barely understood the contents of the forum before, but these days I feel that I may be able to ask questions in the forum. I don't think negatively about other people. I just see what I see and I feel comfortable in most situations. 

I may be making arbitrary interpretation, but it is for sure that I can interpret many things using the operational mechanism of mind and psychology. I still have moments of doubts and anxiety that attack me like a stroke when wounds are retrieved by some triggers. However, I can get out of them in a few minutes. I can always resume therapeutic tasks to regain calmness and happiness. 

I am proud of myself. 

https://youtu.be/gmsefCswLUU

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