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[Infidelity Therapy] The victimized spouse who destroys everyone's life in an attempt to gain comfort.
Infidelity does not occur due to couple issues, sexual issues, or any other practical problem. It occurs due to relationship addiction, which is an advanced condition of psychological disorder and causes immersion into the other's response or attention.
People in infidelity behaves in the way they destroy relationships with people who give stress regarding their infidelity. They may cat irrationally, become violent, or avoid stressful situations at all costs. People in infidelity will display all kinds of behaviors. They may leave home without contact, beg for forgiveness, use violent language, blame other family members, and so on.
The victimized spouses of spouse infidelity suffer from difficult situations repeatedly and they also start to destroy themselves and other people. They did not commit infidelity but their post traumatic stress makes them act irrationally, become violent, and avoid stressful situations at all costs.
Where would what you do and think now lead you eventually?
Can you solve all the problems of your spouse in infidelity?
Can you stop being destructive and restore happiness?
They want to get out of the unfortunate situation and become happy. However, their condition of post traumatic stress makes all their efforts result in destruction. Any practical measure they take except the measure to treat their condition in the right way will destroy themselves and their children. It is because people in post traumatic stress misunderstand that they will become comfortable and happy when they solve the visible problems and usually make wrong decisions.
Then, efforts made based on post traumatic stress become efforts to destroy themselves and their family just to feel comfortable temporarily. They end up living for pleasure avoiding stress and wounds. Their children are neglected and grow with unhealthy psychology. So many people ask what to do when this and that happen in the situation where spouse infidelity is discovered. This is equivalent to asking what to do to destroy themselves and their family.
Spouse infidelity cannot be solved by taking any practical measures. All problems that occur due to spouse infidelity can be solved only when the spouse in infidelity decides and make efforts to treat the relationship addiction. The same applies to post traumatic stress. Post traumatic stress can be cured only when the victimized spouse decides and make efforts to treat the condition in the right way regardless of the circumstance. Actually, when you don't treat post traumatic stress in the right way but the situation gets better, the condition deteriorates even further and eventually cause more severe destruction.
Both the spouse in infidelity and the victimized spouse must treat their psychological condition before they do anything. First, they must protect themselves and their children by starting KIP Treatment Program. Then, they can give the spouse in infidelity an opportunity to treat relationship addiction. You must make efforts not for destruction but for happiness in a true sense.
Typical destructive measures include collecting evidence, filing lawsuits, getting a divorce, taking psychology counseling, and revenge affair. Some people choose to get immersed into children, work, religion, study, or hobbies. Others try to restore sexuality by going on a diet, taking plastic surgery, or taking sex training. Any activity that causes obsession and dependency aggravates post traumatic stress.
You must also be careful about so-called experts who encourage all these destructive measures. They never take responsibility for dire consequences resulted from their destructive advice. Being deceived and taking their advice only expedites the rate of destruction.
Do not try to solve practical problems.
Do not try to change your spouse at least for now.
Please, do not just avoid the pain but take the right treatment method to treat your psychology and restore happiness in a true sense.
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