3/01/2023

[Infidelity Therapy] What the adulteress misunderstands about the adulterer

 

     The woman who commits infidelity may justify her affair believing that she is in love with the partner. She may think that her partner is also in love with her and believes him when he says he doesn't love his wife. Could it be true?

1. The woman in infidelity is in love with the partner. 

     Infidelity is caused by relationship addiction. Men become addicted to women's responses and women become addicted to men's attention. All addictions are accompanied by obsession when they cannot get immersed into the object of addiction. They feel as if they would die when they cannot get immersed into the object of addiction. People in infidelity do not realize that they have the condition of addiction, so they mistake their obsession for response and attention for love. They believe that they cannot live without the current partner, but when they part from each other and change partner, they repeat the same process of being obsessed and getting immersed into the partner's response and attention. Infidelity is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder or addiction. 

2. The man in infidelity is in love with the partner. 

     The man in infidelity is usually cheerful, nice, and sweet. He looks like a very good person. He especially gives a lot of attention to the woman partner so that he can get responses he wants from the woman partner, among which having sex is usually the most important. That is, the man in infidelity does everything because he needs to achieve his own pleasure, and not because he loves the woman partner. 

3. The man in infidelity does not love his wife. 

     No man in infidelity would say to the adulteress that he is in love with his wife. This is because he cannot succeed in having an affair if he says that he loves his wife but he just wants to have fun with the adulteress. Married couples may look like they love each other or they are indifferent to each other on the surface. Most married people love their spouses even if they don't show their feelings actively.

     There are two types of love : love recognized in the conscious and love in the unconscious. Married people's love toward their spouse starts as love in the conscious and then is transformed into love in the unconscious. The husband may not recognize that he loves the wife on a daily basis, but he takes responsibility to take care of the wife and children. The husband and the wife have become the major part of each other's life. Thus, the wife does not have to show responses or provide sexual pleasure. The wife is not someone who responds for the husband's fun and pleasure or becomes his sexual object. 

4. The woman in infidelity is the only love of the man in infidelity.

     When the man leaves home, doesn't take care of his family, and seems completely crazy about the adulteress, it only indicates that he is in a serious condition of addiction. He may have such a severe condition that he decides to get a divorce and live with the adulteress. In other words, the woman has welcomed the man who doesn't even have the ability to protect his own family due to a psychological disorder. The woman will have to deal with all his destructive behaviors as his condition deteriorates further, or become an object of pleasure for other men when he loses interest in her and leaves her sooner or later. 

     People who have relationship addiction do not wear labels on their face. Men who have relationship addiction may actually look very attractive to women who have relationship addiction. The woman may feel good when the man gives her attention and consolation as her obsession based on wounds in mimind is relieved. The mechanism of addiction should be clearly distinguished from that of love and happiness even if they look similar on the surface. 

     Any woman who is involved in a toxic relationship must hurry to treat her relationship addiction and transfer to a life that pursues true love and happiness. She can and must learn about the nature of infidelity, treat her wounds in mimind, and restore happiness.

https://youtu.be/U8IRL1-sqaM

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education) 

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