5/22/2023

[Mother Therapy] The first thing to do to restore parent-child relationship


Hello, everyone. I am Jin Hee Lee at Korea Institute of Psycho-education. Many parents feel that they used to be in a good relationship with children when they were younger but it is difficult to communicate with them as they grow. Would it be that the relationship suddenly became difficult? Probably not. There must have been signs of problems before difficult relationship started. It is likely that parents could not pay enough attention to children for different reasons for some time and their relationship became difficult gradually. 

Parents may not pay enough attention to children because they live together and always see each other. They may not even think much about children taking them for granted. However, they may realize that something went wrong only when they begin to find problems. Then, it usually takes time and efforts to restore the relationship. Therefore, it is important to pay attention all the time and prevent problems from taking place. 

When parents try to solve problems after they find then, it may be difficult since they have forgotten how to approach children after a long time of negligence. Also, children have grown and changed a lot because they keep growing, so as parents try parenting strategies they used to apply before, it may just aggravate the situation and their relationship with children. In this situation, parents are at a loss about what to do, may try this and that to no avail, and become frustrated. 

There is so much information on communication with children. It is easy to find such information, but it is not so easy to distinguish right parenting strategies from wrong parenting strategies. For example, you may try to praise children as much as possible learning that praising may improve your relationship with children. Of course, praising children can be good for your children, but you must first know how to praise about what depending on children's phase of psychological development. 

If you want to improve your relationship with children, you must understand their developmental phases of psychology and right parenting strategies. Also, you must interact with children in healthy ways in daily life. Then, you can achieve positive interactions and communications with children. 

Parent-child relationship is also a type of human relationship. You have to accurately understand the operational mechanism of human mind and psychology to improve any type of human relationship. You may give up on your effort and aggravate the situation when you don't apply the right method of parenting. It may take some time but you can and must help children grow in a safe environment and in a good relationship with parents. 

No parent would want to stay in a bad relationship with children. It is only natural that parents have difficulties in parenting and communicating with children as they grow older since it is their first time to be parents. You just have to keep making efforts to find the right and accurate methods that can be adopted in daily interactions with children. 

https://youtu.be/QE5L0QPSkJg

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