What do you think when your teenage children argue for their own thoughts and you feel they have changed kind of in an undesirable way? You may think they are going through the stormy period of adolescence. Teenage years is the period of forming their own thought standards independently from their parents. Children who used to be so compliant with parents' ideas and guidance would begin to disagree with parents on every single issue.
Teenagers need to learn to form their own thought standards as a developmental phase of psychology. They naturally experience stress when their ideas and parents' ideas are different, and they would express their stress and different thought standards in quite clumsy ways. When parents just try to apply their own thought standards without understanding that teenagers need to learn to form their own thought standards, parents will assume that their children are simply going through the notorious period of adolescence, and conflicts may occur in parent-child relationship.
Parents should not neglect this situation or force their own thought standards against children's thought standards. Teenagers may not be fluent in expressing their thoughts and feelings and may look rebellious sometimes, but parents should understand that they are going through the necessary phase of psychological development. They are in the process of forming thought standards and their thought standards keep changing during the teenage years until they start self-actualization as adults. They will begin to take responsibility for all their actions when they become adults, but teenagers do not take full responsibility since they are still in the process of development through trials and errors.
Teenagers form thought standards through their knowledge and experience during teenage years. Both positive and negative experiences will influence their thought standards. When parents understand this process and provide the environment in which children can form healthy thought standards, they will develop the ability to incorporate even negative experiences into balanced and stable psychology. When they are deprived of such nurturing environment, they may be trapped in negative thought standards and continue to have unstable psychology even when they become adults.
The period of adolescence is important in both physical and psychological development. It is not right to viewing this period negatively for being rebellious or difficult. In the same vein, it is not right to justify teenagers' aggressive or disobliging behaviors thinking that it is only natural. Teenage years can and must be constructive and happy years of development when parents understand the mechanism of developmental phases and provide the nurturing environment for children to form healthy thought standards through trials and errors.
https://youtu.be/0FJUI8iTCOE?si=bUVw3Fzdwf9V6Hjn
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