What can you do when your seven or eight year-old child plays well at
home, but refuses to go to school saying school is no fun. You sure must feel
worried and anxious not knowing what to do. If you ask her why she doesn’t go
to school, she may say she doesn’t like her teacher or friends, or say it’s
just no fun.
Children in the ages from 5 to 12 are in
the phase of adaptation to relationships. They act and react differently based
on their perception of individual relationships. They feel the most difficulty
when they find adapting themselves to relationships. Especially, younger
children from the age of 5 to 8 may feel that school life is difficult because
they don’t have good relationships with teachers and friends. In this
situation, parents must try to help children form and maintain good
relationships with teachers and friends instead of trying to find problems
elsewhere, such as the child’s psychological condition itself or the teacher’s
personality.
You
should never approach the issue in the same way as you deal with problems of
teenagers or adults, who act and react based on their own thought standards in
a rational way. You should never say to a 7 year-old boy, “You must understand
that home and school are different. You must follow the rules at school and
listen to your teacher.” The boy may vaguely
understand what the parent says, but he will keep feeling nervous and anxious
at school since he doesn’t have good relationships with people at school.
You must never blame the teachers or other
people, either. When your child says, “My teacher doesn’t like me. He always
scolds me,” you shouldn’t say, “You teacher is weird. Why does he always scold
you? He is not a good teacher.” You must figure out exactly what is going on
instead of responding only based on your child’s argument. You may first
contact the teacher and learn what the problem can be. Parents and teachers
must work together to help children form and maintain healthy relationships with
people they meet until they fully develop skills to manage relationships with
diverse types of people on their own.
The prerequisite condition is for parents
to have healthy and stable psychology in this process. Then, they must
accurately understand the psychological development of children and adopt the
right parenting strategies. As children are guided in the right direction at
home and at school, children will find school fun in no time and enjoy meeting
teachers and friends at school every day.
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