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It is not uncommon for couples to experience
diverse sex problems. They stay together without having sex at all, lose
interest in having sex, or one partner wants active sex life but the other
doesn’t. Conventional approaches that attempt to solve couple’s sex problems
usually focus on analyzing the visible phenomena that are recognized in the
conscious and suggesting solutions for apparent issues.
For example, when
you are a sexless couple, you may be advised on how to get yourself engaged in
having sex and so on. If you feel less interested in having sex than before, you
may be introduced to diverse sex techniques that can enhance your sexual
sensations. You may also be guided to form stronger bonds with the partner and
try to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings to feel closer to each
other. As you can see, they are all solutions and suggestions at the surface
level that don’t address the fundamental cause of couple’s sex problems. Approaches
that deal with only visible phenomena actually cause even more serious problems
by distorting the couple’s ideas on human sexuality and leading them in the
wrong direction in pursuing sexual happiness.
Then, what is the
fundamental cause of couple’s all sex problems? It is distorted concepts and
ideas on sexuality that prevail in many societies and cultures. Many people
think that men are more active in having sex, must lead women, and should know
more about sex than women. Many people think that women are naturally passive
in having sex and have less information on sex.
Of course, there
are women who are active in having sex and lead men these days. This situation
still causes couple’s sex problems because both men and women still have
distorted ideas on human sexuality. Problems cannot but keep growing unless
couples have the right concept of sexuality and try to solve sex problems in
accordance with the right concept.
Sex problems occur
when we become overly conscious about sex. Mimind and xesmind operate in the
opposite ways from each other and the operation of xesmind is not recognized in
the conscious. When you follow your conscious recognition in your mimind to
guide yourself in managing your sex life, you will only aggravate problems. You
don’t have to understand how xesmind
operates in detail. You just need to apply a couple of basic principles in your
sex life.
You only have to remember two things to
improve your sex life with your partner and solve sex problems. One is that men
must not think about sex and must not try to be exposed to sexual information
of any kind. They should try to perceive their partner as a woman they love and
protect not as a sexual object for pleasure. They don’t need any sex technique.
Then, their sexual functions will be restored.
The other is that
women must know about how to have a good sex to satisfy themselves. It doesn’t
mean that they need to learn any sex technique or they should look sexually
attractive. They should discard all the conventional concepts. Women should
only focus on ways to gratify themselves in having sex. They must try to figure
out what stimulations they like and when they feel satisfied physically and
psychologically in having sex.
When the couple can
apply the two things in practice, women naturally lead men to comply with them.
Then, men can naturally satisfy women in the way women like activating their
sexual functions. Men generate passion looking at the woman partner being
satisfied. Both
men and women can enjoy having sex and achieve sexual happiness in the way they
can accord with the operational mechanism of human sexuality.
Neither men nor women must pay any attention to conventional concepts of sexuality and especially women must not pay attention to the partner. Men should stay away from any sexual information to maintain healthy sexual functions and women must focus only on their own sexual happiness. Please, remember that what you recognize in the conscious regarding sexuality is not the lighthouse that leads you in the right direction.
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