10/03/2024

[Sex & Xes] Divorce and Sexuality in Women with Psychological Wounds

 

Why do women get divorced? Most often, it's because their spouse has caused them a lot of wounds and stress. With small wounds, you may have conflicts and fights sometimes but good things also happen and you can just go on with your marriage feeling OK.

However, when the accumulated wounds become overwhelming, or when a spouse's infidelity, violence, or other circumstances cause unmanageable wounds in women, they turn to divorce as a means of avoiding the wounds. The problem with this is that avoiding the wounds doesn't make them go away, because divorce doesn’t remove the source of the wounds. There are a lot of wounds still staying inside you, just not acted upon because the object that triggered wounds is gone.

A woman's wounds are directly related to her entire xes psychology, including her libido and sexual functioning. Small wounds can heal by understanding the cause of the wound, receiving comfort and attention, but when the wound is too much for the mind to handle, the mind alone cannot repair it, so xesmind comes into play.

When xesmind is activated to repair the wound, even a woman who has never been interested in sex before may have a very strong desire for sex. Not only that, but the sensory organs become very active and sensitive in order to perceive sexual information, and the expression of sexuality is intensified beyond the control of consciousness. In other words, women’s sexual functioning becomes very good along with strong sexual desire, all because of the wounds in the heart.

At this point, the woman either shuts off having sex completely or her sexuality becomes hyper-activated. One may say, “I'm done with men, I'm just going to live happily with my children,” and then she pours all her xes energy, which has grown to the size of her wound, into her children. This is not to say that children are perceived as being sexual to her, but a powerful energy of the size of the wound is poured into children because desire is energy that seeks to fill in what is missing or lacking in oneself.

Wound-based needs become obsession, not love. What happens is that they obsess and over-interfere in their children's every move and mistake it for love. The result is that women end up living their lives based on wounds, and their children end up not being able to live their lives fully because of their mother's wounds.

The other choice is “men,” which is to say, “Okay. I've done enough being a wife and a mom, and now I'm going to love and enjoy my life as a woman.” In this case, the woman’s sexual function and sexual desire are highly enhanced due to the overwhelming wounds. As this is an unrecognized operation of the xesmind, the woman mistakes her change for wanting love. 

These women are easy targets for men who only want the pleasure of sex, and men are very aware that when they heal a woman's wounds, having sex follows, as does the heart. Women may consciously think, “I would never do that,” but it's not easy for the mind to control the workings of the xesmind. The stronger the “I would never do that” in the conscious mind, the stronger the opposite is in the unconscious mind. The conscious mind thinks you want a man's love, but what you really want in the unconscious is sex, not love.

If you remarry, you promise yourself countless times that you won't repeat the mistakes of the last time, and you're convinced that your new spouse will be different from the last one. Of course, in the beginning, it's too good to be true. The sex is so good, and the good times keep rolling. But as you get more intimate with your partner, the more unconscious wounds that have been building up are expressed. And then, the day you recognize something that reminds you of the events that led to the previous divorce, you have a situation where all of the old wounds come out. Then, can the new spouse handle it?

Human sexuality is a double-edged sword, and depending on how you use it, it can either kill you completely or keep you completely healthy. It has a tremendous amount of energy, but right now, everyone is unaware of its nature, so they use it to kill others and kill themselves under the illusion of love and pleasure.

Since women’s sexuality is directly related to psychological wounds, it is important to remember that when you have many wounds inside you, it is imperative to heal the wounds first. No human being can think correctly and constructively when they are in negative emotions, and in major life events such as marriage and divorce, it is imperative to heal the wounds first to create the ability to be happy to protect yourself and children.

                      https://youtu.be/QYyiIN0O8tk?si=iWnGPPid2L3tWerN

  About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)

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