Intimate Human Relationship

 

Psychological operations are inevitable in human relationships; errors of human relationships could occur to anybody. About 80% of emotional confrontations occur very often because we do not understand each other as these psychological operations are not understood. 

When having psychological operations, one expresses his or her emotions by habits, which are the unconscious whereas the counterparty accepts the expressed emotions by the conscious. The counterparty also perceives his or her counterparty's expressions by the conscious whereas he or she expresses his or her emotions by his or her own habits. These are called psychological operations and happen more obviously in loving and intimate human relationships. 

When one expresses his or her emotions in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expressions by habits, the unconscious, his or her counterparty will accept the expressed emotions through thoughts and think that these expressions are made on purpose. This is the same in the opposite way as well. 

Therefore, we blame each other when problems occur in human relationships. Although the counterparty did not intentionally make expressions, one thinks that the expressions are made on purpose. It is because that one remembers the speeches, actions, and facial expressions that he or she has made less than 10% but remembers more than 90% of the speeches, actions, and facial expressions made by the counterparty. 

Intimate human relationships can be relationships with the person one loves, close friends, people who have made oneself feel comfortable for a long time, etc. The parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship, family relationships, and relationships among friends can be examples of intimate human relationships. 

In intimate human relationships, psychological expressions are made in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expressions unconsciously by habits. Then, the counterparty integrates the expressed psychology and perceives it by the conscious. The counterparty then expresses his or herself in forms of speeches, actions, and facial expression by habits, the unconscious as well, which makes oneself integrate and perceive the expressions by the conscious. Expressing and perceiving psychological operations made by each other circulate in this way. 

One and his or her counterparty use the unconscious, which is habits, when making psychological expressions; whereas they use the conscious, which is thoughts, for psychological perceptions. When looking into the memory of emotions at this point, men cannot remember negative emotions but remember positive one whereas women remember negative emotions but cannot remember positive ones. This is why men and women have different psychological operations. 

These phenomena occur for sure for loving relationships and old-intimate relationships. When looking into circulation structures of intimate human relationships, positive psychological expressions are not that problematic but negative expressions of psychology cause problems. Since expressions are made by the unconscious and perceived by the conscious, expressions made by the counterparty unconsciously are perceived by the conscious making them misunderstood that they were made on purpose. These phenomena occur to both sides causing them to blame each other. That is to say, it happens because they are in an intimate human relationship. They oppose each other emotionally since they do not understand this process clearly and are certain that all of these are caused by each other. Simply saying, misunderstandings are unavoidable. 

Distorted errors occur like this; this is because expressions and perceptions are different. One perceives expressions made by his or her counterparty distortedly and misunderstands them due to the thoughts that accept the expressions. One can think his or her thoughts are certain, but it is, in fact, the same as misunderstanding the counterparty's expressions because that these expressions are made by the unconscious, not by the conscious is not known.

Therefore, more than 99% of the thoughts about counterparties in intimate relationships are distorted and wrong. Regardless of the truth of counterparties, the possibility that one could think distortedly about and misunderstand them is about 99%.

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