Q : I am in my mid-20s and currently live with a married man. I want to end this relationship but don't know how to get away from him. It has been 4 years already since we met.
A : You have only become his plaything. Your situation can be seen as Stockholm syndrome. You can't get away from him if he gives you a little bit of attention even though you know this is wrongdoing. He is keeping the relationship with you because your reactions and behaviors give him fun. He is not protecting you.
You must get away from him. Since it is difficult to provide you solutions through this online counseling, please send me an email. Then, I will let you know what to do to get away from him through email.
In this case, you will end up being an adulterous woman having an inappropriate relationship with a married man. You are young but addicted to attention; if you get attention from a married man, the only option you have is having an inappropriate relationship with him, which is too bad.
Generally, in this case, the man would probably say that he will divorce and come to you; however, you should never ever trust him. It is problematic even if he actually divorceㄴ and comes to you. Thus, you must return to the original psychological state regardless of him getting divorced or not.
You think you are in love, but, in fact, you are not recognizing that you are addicted to his attention. So, your wounds will continually accumulate. There are women who were in inappropriate relationships like you and started getting treatment because of their psychological wounds. If you want to end your relationship with him, now is a good chance for you to get treatment. You will feel very painful as you get through the treatment process. It is so painful so much that you want to kill him. This phenomenon occurs when a wife who was in an inappropriate relationship with another man gets treatment as well. It is because you will be able to interpret and realize your current situation in the process of abnormal psychology becoming normal.
You must stop and end your relationship with him immediately. Do not listen to whatever he says. Human beings can make mistakes and do wrong things because they don't know what they are doing. If you know that you are in the wrong situation, you should stop being in that situation, recover yourself and then pay for what you have done, which is the painful process during the treatment. If you don't give up and overcome this pain and difficult time, you will be able to recover and live a happy and healthy life.
Relationship addiction is not able to be treated by oneself, but you can recover from it even if you get through the pain. Therefore, if you have realized something is wrong, please stop whatever you have been doing. Recover yourself if you want to live a happy life.
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/