Only you yourself can sense the pain inside yourself and no one else can even imagine how painful it is let alone sensing it. You have not done anything to cause this pain but you feel that your whole life is suffering in and of itself. The suffering from post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity is considered as one of the most excruciating psychological pain human beings can experience. People who cannot understand how painful it is may easily say that you must just get a divorce and forget about it. Post traumatic stress is not something that goes away by just forgetting about it and starting a new life. You may be able to forget about it only when your mind completely perishes and your life collapses. Without proper treatment, post traumatic stress only gets aggravated without recognition, and you cannot even sense the pain when mind completely perishes and the ability of recovery is completely lost.
Then, you become to mistake a pleasurable life for a happy life inflicting pain and suffering onto other people including your own children. Post traumatic stress gets aggravated as time goes by until death. If you can still feel pain upon a certain trigger that reminds you of spouse infidelity, it indicates that your condition is still in the phase where treatment is possible.
Post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity is not cured by forgiving the spouse and trying to recover marriage relationship deliberately out of self-justification. Such conscious attempts also only aggravates your psychological condition. No matter how hard you try to become happy and recover your life and marriage relationship, you will experience occasional occurrences of explosive rage or excruciating pain upon the slightest trigger, which also indicates that you still have a chance for treatment and recovery. When you do not experience rage or pain any more getting immersed into objects of fun and pleasure including having an affair, it is considered that you have finally developed the worst psychological condition and lost the chance of treatment and recovery. Now, you cannot find any reason to recover and pursue true happiness, and you are convinced that you can achieve your own happiness only at the cost of other people's happiness.
Post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity makes you feel that your whole life up until now is negated. You are sensing pain since your unconscious in mind tries to recover. You must never look for any kind of comfort or seek pleasure in the midst of the suffering since it will only aggravate the condition. When post traumatic stress gets aggravated, you may think that you need to live a new and different life since your future life will end up being negated by living the way you have so far. You may try to find a completely opposite way of life from the one that you have had so far. However, it is nonsense to negate your life so far since you only pursued happiness in relationships in the right way getting married, raising children, and pursuing career.
You may look for ways to start a new life and build hope for the future. You are actually driving yourself to expedite the process of collapse by doing so. You may begin to feel that your life as an individual is more important than your life as a spouse and a parent and take actions to destroy relationships with people including your children. For example, a wife who used to be good at managing family matters would begin to spend too much time and expense for her own pleasure and form new relationships with people who share pleasure with her. Or a husband victimized by wife infidelity may look for ways to augment his sexual ability by taking radical measures such as medication or surgery. Both of them are investing into destroying their life and life of their loved ones.
Post traumatic stress due to spouse infidelity is a matter of life and death for anyone who experiences it. After some time, you will realize that you have wasted a tremendous amount of time and expense to no avail only to aggravate your condition. It must be clearly noted that your life so far was a good and righteous one, and the so-called 'new life' that you are dreaming of in the condition of post traumatic stress and that many so-called experts suggest is a destructive and tragic misfortune.
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