Q. My wife had an affair with a man in a business relationship while we were proceeding for divorce due to the difference in personality. Then, my wife's business failed and we lived together after canceling the divorce process. Then again, my wife resumed her business and the relationship with the man. Upon the discovery of the second infidelity case, she begged me for forgiveness and wanted to be with children. 7 years has passed since then. Recently, her business began to go well and now, she is demanding a divorce saying she doesn't even want custody of children. Should I get a divorce?
A. Just covering up the wrongdoing and living together as if nothing had happened is not forgiveness. Your wife has had relationship addiction for a long time and she is in a serious psychological condition. You should never trust people who have relationship addiction since it will recur any time.
You have not given your wife an opportunity to treat her relationship addiction so far. You trusted her, believed her words, and only have covered up the wrong situation for the whole time. Your wife's behavior is so typical of the behaviors of people with relationship addiction. As she recovers her business, she is willing to give up family and children only for her own pleasure.
Your wife may have tried hard to recover herself and do her best for family, but it must have been impossible since her psychology operates in such a distorted way. On the surface, things may look fine still maintaining the family relationship, but it is far from true recovery of marriage relationship and family relationship.
First, you must restore your own psychology and build happiness ability whether you decide to get a divorce or not. You can also give your wife an opportunity to restore her psychology if you decide to stay in marriage after you treat yourself.
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Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/
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