8/11/2021

[On Marriage] I am in my 40's and have not yet found a person to be my significant other. It is hard to find one.

It does not have to be hard to find a person to marry. Age is not important, either. You seem to want to get married but have not found the right person just yet. 

As you maintain healthy and stable psychology and continue with what ever you are doing, it is for sure that you will meet the person you want to marry. However, if you are suffering from psychological problems and cannot manage your own life well, it is likely that you cannot meet the right person or just meet people who want to share only pleasure instead of making a commitment. Especially, if you yourself become a pleasure seeker, you will naturally get involved with people like you, who focus more on pleasure than happiness. 

It is essential to maintain healthy psychology if you want to marry and live a happy life with your spouse. If you already have many psychological problems, you must treat your psychology first. Then, you will naturally meet someone who wants to marry you regardless of your age. If you do not treat your psychology, it is likely that your psychological condition worsens as time passes and the probability to meet the right person decreases. 

Many people say that it is hard to find the right partner to marry, but it is far from the truth. It is hard because people try to find someone who can compensate for their psychological problems and develop dependency on the partner. Normal people would not do so, and people who are willing to do so must have some serious psychological condition to start with, which necessarily leads to the collapse of relationships. You may be in the vicious cycle where you keep meeting people with psychological disorders and aggravating your psychological wounds, making you feel that you cannot meet the right person to marry.

It is more important to build the environment for finding a partner than to find a partner. If you think that you are already surrounded by people with psychological disorders, you can keep some distance from them and focus on the treatment of your own psychology. After the treatment, you will find that people with psychological disorders disappear and people with healthy psychology come close to you.

Life is a continuum that continues until you die. You never know when you will meet the right person, get married, and live happily. Your current age is not important at all. The most important factor is your own psychological condition whether you marry, get a divorce, or remarry.


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  Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/    

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