Q. My husband left home 2 years ago and we have lived separately since then. I am getting tired of the situation. Should I maintain the current situation for the sake of children? Will he come back? Should I get a divorce?
A. Your husband left home for two reasons. One is because he is greatly stressed at home by staying with family. The other is he is having such fun outside home so he has no reason to come home. He left home because of his own serious condition with which his psychology operates in a distorted way.
It must be very hard for you to just wait for him to come back. What you need to do is to analyze your own psychological condition rather than thinking about your husband. If it turns out that you have psychological wounds and problems, you must treat yourself and build happiness ability to be able to live happily with children regardless of your husband's condition. Healthy psychology must be the basis of your happiness even if you get a divorce later. When you have unhealthy psychology, children will also develop psychological problems and you and your children will live unhappily even after a divorce. You can live happily whether your husband comes back or not as far as you maintain healthy psychology.
You can decide on divorce once you restore healthy psychology. Keeping or severing the marriage relationship is only an additional matter when you already have happiness ability. You are not recommended to decide on divorce before you restore healthy psychology since your decision is likely to be a distorted one. For example, you may not recognize your psychological wounds even when you have deep wounds inside. Then, you may feel quite comfortable when you get a divorce with the disappearance of the source of pain, that is, your husband. Psychological wounds disguised as comfort will keep worsening and display themselves in explosion someday destroying the life of yours and your loved ones.
You must restore your psychology and become independent psychologically and economically regardless of your husband's condition. It is not to sever the relationship with your husband but to pay no attention to him for now. You should not overly concentrate on earning money but do something minimal to become economically independent.
Your husband will repeat leaving home since he is stressed at home unless you restore yourself and become a happy person. When you build your happiness ability, you will be the one who decides whether to keep him or not.
Apply for Free Consultation on Remarriage
Korea Institute of Psycho-education : http://www.uip.ac/
No comments:
Post a Comment